[Delow84]

Im working on it, when I go out I'm usually scared she might show up where I'm at. But if I ever run into her I am not going to let it bother me and I'm going to do my best to always look my best, not for her but for me :)

The one time I actually saw her, I pulled up next to her driving to work (in a decent mood)... that sucked and I reacted wrong. Peeling out at the green and driving off 120mph prob wasn't best idea. Oh well. Hindsight.

And I'm definitely going to watch swingers, I might have seen it but I don't remember the title.
And id love to meet new people, just not sure how to anymore.

[HistorianChick]

And what, praytell, is your Home Alone quote for the day? :)

Smiling is the best medicine, in my opinion.

So? Lets hear it!

[Delow84]

"This house is so full of people, when I grow up and get married I'm living alone."

:) Smiling definitely helps

[harmony08]

"But i lost a liar, hypocrit, cheater, insecure, jealous, manipulative, person who has hurt me far more then naught. She lost someone who trully loved her inspite of those flaws. Someone who forgave her mistakes. And someone who wanted to go through it every day with her for the rest of his life.
who is the real loser?"


If she is the loser, why are YOU thinking about her?
I did not meant, that you are the one who has problems.
But it´s just that you have to more independent.
Its hard for my to explain, because of the language, but I will try! :-D

The ex boyfriend of my friend cheated on her, and she was sad about that, but she changed her place, where she lived, got to know new friends and she lives her life. She found a new guy, who really cares about her. And her ex always calls her, wants to get her back, but she still thinks, that they had a great time, but it is over.
This is a good story with a happy end. She could do that, because she is independent and free to do everything she wants to.

My cousin, who cannot go out every weekend, who cannot change her place lost herself. Her ex boyfriend cheated on her, and now he is engaged, he also cheated on his feyonce with my cousin. He did really bad things to her. She could not forget him. And now she is another person: she is bitter, she had tooo much guys, which is a real problem, because we are moslems, although we are liberal ones, it is really hard to deal with the fact that you are not virgin anymore. So her life is destroyed, because she does not know how to deal with the fact, that somebody she loved has broken her heart in soooo many ways.
Her life is destroyed and now she changes the partners and she dates every guy.


Its up to you how you deal with disappointments. You have to learn to go forward.
She is a stupid person, because she lost you.
But THAT is 'HER problem, it should not be yours.

You have to ask yourself, if you are happy, and that is the most important thing.
I know that is selfish, but you have to get out of this.
And like I said to you, you have freedom. You can do that.

[Delow84]

I think of her, both good and bad because I loved her with all my heart, and wanted to make her happy, wanted us to be happy. How I felt about her, in spite of the things she did to me, I'm sure most can understand is beyond words.

And so I think of the dreams we had, the moments we shared (good and bad) And the love we had. And no I'm not 'happy' yet, or secure enough or confident enough to just move on. Im not ready for new relationships, not ready to start over with someone new, or let them deal with the way I am now before I'm ready. No one deserves that.

I am working on my independence, and my happiness. Im walking forward and looking forward to what's in front of me.

I lost a dream, but I gained an experience.

[HistorianChick]

Honey, you may have "lost a dream" but you gained the promise of a lifetime of love from a woman who can truly appreciate who you are. Truly blossom under the influence of that love and truly rest in knowing that you are completely and wholly hers and hers/yours.

You're going to make it, my friend.

[Delow84]

Thank you :) I hope some day I meet that person. And I'm starting to believe, really believe, that I am going to make it. But I just got to take it one day at a time.

[HistorianChick]

You have done the right thing.

By doing said "right thing", you have been inducted into the Hall of Cell-phone-taker-chargers. We hereby welcome you into our ranks with open arms, a pat on the back, and an "atta boy!"

Life time membership has been applied and drawn in your name.

Good job.

(Just thought you'd appreciate your own. ;) )

[Delow84]

Yay me :)

-edit- you know what's really hard, is the memory of her in the pictures on her myspace with her new guy, and the comments for those pics like "hey you, i really like you" about her new guy. I recommend not trying to see how an ex is doing. You may want to know, but it will hurt so much more knowing. Seeing them ice skating, and at the zoo. Kind of makes me start thinking "hey she always wanted to do those things, I should have taken her, maybe things would have been different."

But then I remember she never wanted to cause she worried so much, and I barely had money because of her job hopping so I could only support us. We were in a low part of our relationship financially. Just needed time. I would have loved to do those things with her.

So I have those images stuck in my head. And they are like a poison. Im happy she is happy, in a "i love her and want the best for her" sense. But 'knowing' that she is, what she is doing. Doesn't help.

Last night got pretty bad emotionally, (listening to sad music don't help) but it wasn't as bad as the first month. I just worked out and concentrated on my game, prayed and made myself concentrate on something else or think of something else. I just didn't want to dream about her, asked God to not let me dream. Luckily I didn't.

Now anytime those images pop into my head, I immediately do something or think of my new motorcycle I'm getting, or the things I am going to do in Colorado.

It's hard, and this forum helps. Lol I even thought of home alone. Although for some reason I'm wanting to watch some top gun (maybe its cause of the motorcycle scenes) lol

When it ends, NC is best, don't try and find out how they are doing. It won't make you happy if they are sad, and it won't make you happy if they ARE happy. It's a lose/lose.

[HistorianChick]

Have a Friday afternoon smile on me:

Marv: He's going to call the cops!
Harry: He's not callin' the - from a tree house?

Take care, Delow84, keep that chin up! We're all here for you... us at the HCPTC club... :)

[Delow84]

Lol the HCPTC :) Im working on it, that club membership is a life saver. And your making me want to watch home alone now

[friend4u178]

By doing said "right thing", you have been inducted into the Hall of Cell-phone-taker-chargers. We hereby welcome you into our ranks with open arms, a pat on the back, and an "atta boy!"

Life time membership has been applied and drawn in your name.

Hey HC , I have no idea what one of these is but I would like one , can I?

If that's OK with Delow of course :-)

[HistorianChick]

Hey HC , I have no idea what one of these is but I would like one , can I?

If thats ok with Delow of course :-)

OF COURSE!! Print it off. Frame it. Emboss it into your forehead... you, my friend deserve it as well! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have done the right thing.

By doing said "right thing", you have been inducted into the Hall of Cell-phone-taker-chargers. We hereby welcome you into our ranks with open arms, a pat on the back, and an "atta boy!"

Life time membership has been applied and drawn in your name.

Good job.

[friend4u178]

OF COURSE!!! Print it off. Frame it. Emboss it into your forehead... you, my friend deserve it as well! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have done the right thing.

By doing said "right thing", you have been inducted into the Hall of Cell-phone-taker-chargers. We hereby welcome you into our ranks with open arms, a pat on the back, and an "atta boy!"

Life time membership has been applied and drawn in your name.

Good job.

WOO HOO!. thanks :-)

[Delow84]

Welcome to the club :)

[friend4u178]

LOL... Thanks Delow :-)

Kevin McCallister: Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
Clerk: Well, I don't know. It doesn't say, hon.
Kevin McCallister: Well, could you please find out?

[HistorianChick]

You guys are da bomb. :D

HCPTC unite!

[Delow84]

Kevin McCallister: I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape.

Ahh I'm definitely downloading.. I mean renting that movie tonight. I honestly stopped liking it as I got older (maybe the horrible sequels did it) but now I want to see it lol.

[Delow84]

Sorry for the double post, felt it wasbetter then a whole new thread.
But what do you do with pictures and letters, old presents etc ? Honestly when I moved out of the apartment I not only grabbed my stuff, but all the little presents I gave her, cards with "ilove you" pictures poems, drawings etc. In hindsight that pretty much effectivly killed any chance she might randomly think of me. There is nothing left to remind her of me.

But as for me I have it all lol. And I burned everything she or I ever wrote to each other, and one night when I was drunk with my best friend, burned through a lot of pictures. But I just don't feel like burning everything. I still have pictures on computer, and emails saved. I deleted all her pics off my phone except one. I just don't know what to do with it all.

Just throw it all away? I am reminded of this question because today at my mothers house I saw a stack of photos I guess she just got developed, and there is my ex. On my 22nd birthday, and for halloween 06'. :(

[HistorianChick]

Want to know what I did??

I found a beautiful box.. . one of those sentimental hat boxes that you can find at Ross or Target... and I lovingly placed everything that I was given by my ex. The canvasses he painted for me, the letters he wrote, the jewelry, the roses, all that beautiful stuff that he had given me. I put it in this beautiful little box, because I wanted to honor the time that we spent together. It ended horribly, HCTPC club was started for a reason - but I still wanted to honor the memory of a beautiful, loving relationship.

All these things stayed in this box for months... I'd take it down and look at it every once in a while.. . when I needed to feel the love again. Soon, I got to the point where it wasn't necessary - my box became a badge of my own healing.

I got rid of the box not too long ago...

Find yourself a beautiful box - one that honors the love that you feel/felt for her - and place everything in the box. You'll be glad you did... and you'll be glad that you have honored it...

In my ne'er to be humble opinion, don't throw it away until you're ready. :)

Happy Monday!