[Romefalls19]

Your feelings will eventually subside and the pain will go away as will the urge to think about her. I'm still fresh out of the break up(dec.18) and NC for only a week but each day is a struggle but I know that all these bad days will eventually end... Keep your head up

[Maggie83]

I thought the pain would have subsided by now... it hasn't, I'm still as hurt as I was a few weeks after the split! Just going to try and get my head down for a while, get on with finding a better job and moving out their my aims for this year!

[George_1950]

Sometimes it hurts, badly, yes; but it subsides. You will see.

[Maggie83]

I hope so George, I can't go on living my life like this I'm in complete disarray! My work is suffering, I don't go out very often at all, I can't exercise because I have a bad hip... my parents don't have any advice for me.

[George_1950]

Do you listen to music? Do you download and make your own CD's? Go through the voluminous titles different people have provided on the "Relationship", "Songs we listen to...", have you been there? Listen to these songs and share some that you like. Perhaps you need to work on your daily structure, hour by hour if necessary. Do some things that require some mental effort, such as Hoyle games, solitaire, and crossword puzzles. Have some time for interaction each day. Re-focus on your hobbies and spend some time there. I found that menial tasks, such as chopping and stacking wood are no help. But I enjoy reading and it takes my mind away from me and my issues. If you have access to a pool, you may find swimming to be enjoyable.

[Romefalls19]

Good ideas George... I have found reading to be a good outlet, as well as music. I also have turned all my anger over this into motivation for better results at the gym. It really helps to keep me focused and while I am getting in much better shape now, I use the motivation of her seeing me all nice and in shape and big to keep me going when I don't want to do that last set.

[Maggie83]

My ex has just added me on Facebook, despite me deleting her a couple of weeks after we split up and her even admitting herself I can't be friends it's a bit of a dilemma

[ISneezeFunny]

Mmm ignore.

I haven't hit that part yet. I never deleted my ex's myspace... seeing as I RARELY get on it and I don't really feel to tempted to go look at hers either... so I think I'm doing fine.

Music... yes. Reading... absolutely. Although, I don't recommend reading the first week or two... I tried. I sat at a coffee shop "reading" when one of my friends came up and said, "YOU'RE NOT READING..."

She was right. I was thinking. So yeah.

Currently, working out. Reading a book. "cleaning" my room... it's a work in progress.

School starts this week. I see the ex for the first time since the break up. Wish me luck

[BMI]

Craziness eh guys.

All this stuff right after a break up seems to be the norm in these threads, that should tell us that we are all going through the same thing and knowing that helps a lot. It's important to know that EVERYONE goes through these feelings, nobody is exempt from heartache. We are down at this point but we were up when we met these girls in the first place, so it goes round I think.

As for Facebook, just ignore the friend request. Facebook and Myspace (at least to me) are the absolute worst thing to have an ex girlfriend on, you check them and they check you and you get caught up in trying to represent that you could care less about them and they respond in kind. DON'T add her.

As for going to school Sneeze, that's a big one. TRY not to show your emotions and just focus on what you need to do, NC. Its tough to do and easy to say but it sounds like you know what is best for you and so you will see the logic behind NC if you stick to your guns.

Ahhhhh ex-girls, can't we all just get along.

[Maggie83]

The Facebook thing is sorted, saw the ex on the train and chatted, got to work and there was a text ''nice to see you today, sorry things didn't work out between us I hope we can eventually be friends''

I replied Sorry but no, that's not going to happen, please don't contact me again unless you change your mind about us, I hope you understand

One request ignored!

[Mr-Blank]

Wow... will be interesting to see how she reacts to that!

[Maggie83]

She won't react, at least not today... she'll probably wait another three weeks and ask to be my friend again lol!

She knows now its all or nothing between us now, if she don't want it its her loss

Im hurt but I'm no where near as hurt as I thought I would be!

[ISneezeFunny]

I wonder what she thinks then... because in her mind, she's thinking WELL... WE CHATTED. THEN HE SAID NO TO FRIENDS... NO CONTACT.. . WHAT'S GOING ON?

[Maggie83]

She'll be thinking what a w@nker at the moment, she'll be huffed because I said no to being put to one side for whenever she likes... I know what she's like she'll expect me to contact her soon... maybe the weekend saying I'm sorry I said no to being friends and id like to be, sorry not happening

Just feel like I've wasted too much time and energy on her, its time to snap out of it and try to move on asap!

[Maggie83]

UPDATE

Well I hadn't heard anything from my ex then on Friday night she texys me out of the blue about something random, I didn't reply so she text again... I then replied and she spent the whole night texting me, next morning wakes up to another text, so I left it a few hours and text her back. In the evening she text me again and then later said things aren't the same without me... same thing yesterday until last night I deceide not to text back and I've heard nothing since.

A text even said I know you said not to contact you but blah blah blah

Is she just trying to confuse me again or what?

[mafiaangel180]

Go back to NC because that way there is no confusion.

[Maggie83]

So a week and a half after texting me all weekend and I stopped texting her because I didn't want to get too friendly with her... she had added me on Facebook again! 3 weeks after I rejected her last request, this isn't even funny anymore!

[EuRa]

You wrote your original question on Dec 3rd. IT'S BEEN JUST OVER 2 MONTHS!

You need to figure out what the hell you want and act on it. It sounded like in the beginning that she wanted to get back together with you. If you said no, then it's a no, and you need to move on. If you said yes and it turned sour, then it's over.

Then again, judging by where you are now, you obviously aren't back together. So it's not looking good. 2 months of this? You are wasting your time.

[Maggie83]

Well I didn't expect to be over it in two months we were together 7 years!

At first I asked her back and she said no, so I went n/c then she broke it and asked to be friends and I said no because it would be too hard... back to n/c then she broke it agaion and asked to be friends so I asked her not to contact me uless she changed her mind about us so I went n/c and she text me a week a go all weekend, it got too friendly so I went n/c now this!

I know what I want, that's her back but I'm not going to jump in and say it unless I make a fool of myself! I used n/c not as a gimmic to get her back but to heal... its not me getting in touch

[aboleth]

Well, the truth is quite familiar to the old proverb "if you love something, let it go - if it was meant to be it will come back to you". No contact is more about you than anything else. If the other person comes around, then so be it... If not, deal with it in the meantime. The other person needs to feel your abscense and want it back. There's no garuntee's here. I would live under the assumption that she's not coming back, and let time do it's magic. One way or another you're going to feel better by not contacting her.