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Romefalls19 · Jan 15, 2008, 07:15 AM

That really is the reason though lol... I was really bad with my jealousy, like beyond out of control. I basically placed her into a little box to the point where she didn't want to live her life inside that box. I wish it was an excuse, then I wouldn't be doing all the therapy, classes and book reading to better myself in that aspect. It really hits home once a therapist tells you that you have a huge jealousy and insecurity problem. She didn't want to end it, but felt as though she had to, so that she couldbe happy again. She was unhappy with how I treated her, and this was coming from one of her friends telling me that. After we had already broken up. It wasn't an excuse to break up, she's not out with other guys(as much as people on here disagree) she is out with her girlfriends, which is something I did not like her doing while we were together.

Maggie83 · Jan 15, 2008, 03:37 PM

My ex has just added me on Facebook, despite me deleting her a couple of weeks after we split up and her even admitting herself I can't be friends it's a bit of a dilemma

Five weeks of not speaking directly, she's since turned up at my train station which was out of her way

ISneezeFunny · Jan 15, 2008, 04:13 PM

Haha, maggie. I just replied to your post on the other topic and here I see you again.

Just calculated it's been 4 full week since I've seen the ex. 5 weeks since the break up.

I have yet to have any contact with her whatsoever... except for the e-mail she wrote me 2 weeks ago explaining why we broke up. Didn't write back.

I see her for the first time this week as school starts.

I will not be a jerk, but I will not be friendly either. Simply polite. Civil. Short. Wish me luck.

Maggie83 · Jan 15, 2008, 04:17 PM

I wish you all of the luck in the world my friend, do you want her back or are you past that? Just trying to get as much opinion as possible spoke to a few friends as well

ISneezeFunny · Jan 15, 2008, 04:24 PM

Well, I'm not really sure what's going on. Our breakup... was very out of the blue. No fights. Nothing going wrong. Just... happened. She wanted freedom to hang out with her friends without feeling guilty she wasn't hanging out with me... that was her reason. Seriously.

Then I hear that some dude's been hanging out with her a lot (3 days after we break up a 3 year relationship)... spending the night at her place... but she denies that (not just to me, but to all her friends as well). So I have no idea what's going on with that either.

Do I want her back? no... not really. I'm doing fine being single. But like many, I am nostalgic. I can't go a day without thinking of something we did in the past... something fun.. like that trip we took to Hawaii... or that time we went ice skating. Small things like that.

Do I miss her? Absolutely. But I know what needs to be done. There's only 4 months of school left. Then we graduate. No point in starting something else.

Maggie83 · Jan 15, 2008, 04:43 PM

I don't want my heart to rule my head, so I'm taking some time to think about it, I don't want to make any snap decisions... I do want her back, seven years is a long time to be together.

I was alson dumped out of the blue I hadn't seen her for two days and she said we weren't progressing in the relationship no fight no crying no fall outs. Since then I know nothing of her life and her of mine she's been fishing before and I ignored it, I've also told her I can't be friends... so what does she want, I don't know

OverDozed · Jan 16, 2008, 12:44 AM

Originally Posted by Maggie83

i dont want my heart to rule my head

Uuhhk... feelings over thoughts... no... thoughts over feelings...
Am confused... :confused:

This is 4th month of NC thing... dunno n if am proggrrressinggggggg...
*smiles*

OverDozed · Jan 16, 2008, 12:44 AM

Originally Posted by Maggie83

i dont want my heart to rule my head

Uuhhk... feelings over thoughts... no... thoughts over feelings...
Am confused... :confused:

This is 4th month of NC thing... dunno and if am proggrrressinggggggg...
I think I am, but a part of me says am not...
:confused:

*smiles*

Romefalls19 · Jan 16, 2008, 06:34 AM

I know how both of you guys feel. I know I shouldn't want her back, but I do. I know I can say no, but do I want too... It's a hard reality this thing called love. I think I'm going to sue Hollywood for their false advertisement of fairy tale endings. You know the one where the guy gets the girl and they live on happily...

Maggie83 · Jan 16, 2008, 06:40 AM

Chin up my friend, a lot of people here are in the same boat at the moment. It's a confusing time for us all and our rational thoughts sometime go out of the window. Stick at it, look at me yesterday and the day before I nearly broke no contact... but I didn't now my ex has added me on Facebook another problem.

Stick with it and you'll heal... we all will, there's no such thing as fairytail that's why so many relationships fail, high expectations with little effort put into it!

Romefalls19 · Jan 16, 2008, 06:42 AM

Exactly... I think it would be comforting to know that they are hurting a little over this.. Just so you know you're not at this alone.. I guess fate works both ways

lunchboxau · Jan 16, 2008, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by Maggie83

Stick with it and you'll heal...we all will, theres no such thing as fairytail thats why so many relationships fail, high expectations with little effort put into it!!

That's awesome, can you please explain that to my ex for me ? ;)

Just cracked day 30, I no longer feel the need to try and make contact at all, just a mix of resentment and sadness I guess. It's funny how your feelings change over time.

Maggie83 · Jan 16, 2008, 08:10 AM

Believe me I can't figure out mine never mind anybody else's!

Just stick at it... im no expert like tman and George but just bear in mind every situation is different and never make snap decisions when your hurt... whenever I've done it I've regretted it i.e breaking n/c!

If they want you, they'll come to you and if they don't (most likely I'm afraid) you'll heal doing n/c

gigi doug · Jan 16, 2008, 03:32 PM

Its been a week of no contact. But I saw him last night!Argh I feel so bitter towards him about everything that happened.. He said hi to me and didn't want to be rude so I said hi as well. But apart from that I ignored him the whole night and he kept staring at me all the time, got his friend to come and ask me some dumb question (soo immature, he's in his twenties) and was wearing this t-shirt I bought for him. What is up with that.. Probably reading too much into it but I just wish he would stop messing with my head and leave me a lone!

Maggie83 · Jan 16, 2008, 03:40 PM

Be strong you've only just begun to heal, it's a very confusing time, I don't know why or how you split but from experience you both are desperate for each other like withdrawals that or they were mean/cheated and you just hate their guts... he was worried that you were there, I bet you spolit his night too look at it that way!

gigi doug · Jan 16, 2008, 03:49 PM

Worried about what though? was probably confused as to why I didn't talk to him because I usually do.. He was such a jerk the whole time we were together and has the nerve to end things and expects me to be nice to him as if nothing happened!I don't think so.He said he doesn't have any feelings anymore so he should just act that way and stop sending me all these mixed messages, says one thing does another. I mean is it just me reading too much into it? Or can anyone else see this happening as well? Feel like I'm going crazy lol

Maggie83 · Jan 16, 2008, 03:57 PM

Worried that he's been to harsh, you'll meet someone better, you'll meet someone before he does, there's a few!

We all get mixed messages that why were all on her trying to help each other figure them out... its never an easy time the first few weeks are hard, very hard but use you anger as a way to push yourself to get better, don't do it to spite him just, when you think you can't do this think about him and push yourself

gigi doug · Jan 16, 2008, 04:10 PM

Thanks so much for your support. I've already met so many guys and been on a few dates but I still can't seem to get this idiot out of my head!No matter how good looking/nice etc the other guy is its still not him! Hate that feeling! In all honesty if he wanted me back I probably would get back together with him. Not at first but eventually.. But doesn't look like its going to happen so I'll keep going with no contact hopefully I'll be over it soon..

Maggie83 · Jan 16, 2008, 04:14 PM

Just keep going, see how things pan out, tomorrow you could meet a guy that may blow you away!

Keep trying to heal, no contact all tof the way! It's the comfort of somebody you miss not him... well maybe him a little but that will pass I assure you!

Delow84 · Jan 16, 2008, 07:52 PM

Its been a month of NC. Last time was me accidentally sending an email I was writing just to write. She responded and basically just wanted me to pay for things she said I owed her, she responded by texting me from her new boyfriends phone. Blah.
1 month give or take.