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MITZIROSE · Jan 15, 2008, 05:44 AM

He Quit His Job Of 7 Yrs. Lives In Our Home. Hes 21 Yrs Old. Refuses Help. Sold Most Of His Belongings. He Is Violent If He Isn't Using. He Is At The Point He Needs It. Im Scared Of Him. He Bangs On The Wlls And Screams. Iwe Offered To Get Him An Apartment But If Hes All Messed Up No One Will Rent To Him. How Do We Get Him Out Of The House. Can He Get Arrested For Driving While Using? We Are In Ct. Please I Beg You Help Me. My Husband Is Almost 70 And Not Well. Im 61. We Can't Handle This Anymore. He Is My Stepson Whom I Had For Over 12yrs. I Love Him But No One Can Get Through To Him. We Have Tried Many Times. We Had Friends And Family. Please Give Us Some Options Her. Thank You

jack dandy · Jan 15, 2008, 08:32 AM

I'm not sure if this applies where you live but you can put him in, in patient at a treatment center which deals with trying to get people off drugs and alcohol and at the same time educates them on how to live a healthier life. From what I know of them they usually run 2 to 4 weeks, the treatment center usually cost money so check that out. Minnesota has a nation wide known treatment center, Its name is Hazeltin Treatment center and there is other good ones throughout the country.I wouldn't recommend having him arrested, even though you could because he would probably get out the next day and be extremely angry because of it. Good luck and God bless you!

MITZIROSE · Jan 15, 2008, 09:55 AM

In Ct. Because He Is Over 18 You Can't Put Him In An In Patient Center Unless He Agrees To Go. I Totally Agree With You. His Insurance Covers This But His Insurance Runs Out In 2 Weeks. He Refuse The Help

jack dandy · Jan 15, 2008, 10:01 AM

Can you have him committed to treatment if he threatens you?

MITZIROSE · Jan 15, 2008, 10:25 AM

I Think If He Is A Threat To Us Or Himself We Might Be Able To Have Him Committed Im Not Positive. I Just Don't Understand That You Don't Have A Leg To Stand On Once Someone Is 21. Obviously They Are Not In The Right State Of Mind. Naturally 9 Out Of 10 Are Going to Refuse Help. So What Are They Saying A Person Has To Commit A Crime First. I Thought That Drugs Are Against The Law. Why Can't That Alone Be Enough

jack dandy · Jan 15, 2008, 11:03 AM

Your right about not being in the right frame of mind I have 21yrs. In the A.A. program I quit drinking when I was 24 because I finally got tired of all the games and my life going no where there is hope he just has to see it or reach rock bottom, which is different for every individual tell him there's a lot better life with out all that crap and its nice to have people respect you for who you are.before I quit no one could tell me either.read the colome before this one and maybe have him read it too, I've been through a lot in life and learned a lot on the way.

jack dandy · Jan 15, 2008, 11:06 AM

I made a mistake it's the next person after your colomn.in the same area.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 15, 2008, 11:17 AM

Sorry this is going to sound really really mean, but you kick him out,

There is no way to force him to get treatment, all you can do is basically kick him out and let him hit completely bottom and want to find help on his own.

MITZIROSE · Jan 15, 2008, 11:30 AM

I Agree With That Suggestion. Just Getting My Husband To Agree. He Is My Stepson. Like I Said We Offered To Get Him A Apartment To Get Started And He Doesn't Want It So Obviously Gets All Messed Up When Its Time To Go Look. Landlord Wants To See Who Renting To. One Look At Him And U Can Tell He I S Screwed Up. If You Could Give Me Any Further Advice I Would Appreciate It. I'm Leaving Now But Will Be Back At 6 Am. Wonder What Im In For At Home. Im Actually Sick At The Thought. If I Didn't Have My Dogs There I Probably Wouldn't Even Go Home. Pretty Sad. Thank You

MITZIROSE · Jan 16, 2008, 07:35 AM

What Do You Do If He Refuses To Move Out?

jack dandy · Jan 16, 2008, 08:00 AM

Give him a date you would like him to move out and stick to it, its called tough love and I'm sure it won't be easy on either of you. That way he can prepare for it ecspecially since he doesn't have a job now. Maybe talk to the Police to see what rights you have,and if there is any thing they can do to help you. Even though its not your job maybe you could talk to Welfare for him since that's what he'll need when he moves out.