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Meg22 · Nov 29, 2007, 03:09 AM

Ok… should I call my X? Now he broke up with me about 6 years ago,
This is the story; (short version) I just recently got back in contact with an old friend from high school and she is with his best friend and she told me that Matt my X called her about 8 months ago wanting my number! But at the time she didn't have it. At first I left it at that but the past couple of days it's been on my mind so I called her and now I have his number. So should I call him?
:confused:

simoneaugie · Nov 29, 2007, 03:18 AM

I would.

Jiser · Nov 29, 2007, 03:12 PM

Call, don't expect anything though. Calm and collected! Things have probably changed a great deal in your lives.

bustertypsy · Dec 2, 2007, 09:36 AM

If you are not hoping for a reconciliation or a romantic gesture then why not.

little firefly · Dec 2, 2007, 10:45 AM

Sure, why not. It could be the start of a good friendship.

Meg22 · Jan 11, 2008, 02:52 AM

Hey guys
It's been awhile, but I did call him and it was really nice talking to him, we talk for 5 hours my mobile phone bill was huge:) we talked about a lot of things but I felt like he was holding something back but I didn't ask because I'm too much of a cowered.
So I thought that was it I wasn't going to push a friendship on him or anything like that, but New years rolled around and I got a message from him and we've talked more since and I've been wondering if I should ask him if he was holding anything back when we talk?

mamasu2 · Jan 11, 2008, 03:30 AM

Hi Meg,
first and foremost always trust your first instinct. If you think he is hiding something, he probably is. I wouldn't ask him. Move on, see what happens. If he thinks you should know anything and cares enough about the relationship, he will tell you. Of course, no offense to men, but most of the time, they don't have a clue. I wish you luck. It sounds like you have struck up a fresh relationship with this man.

talaniman · Jan 11, 2008, 05:50 AM

Is he single? That should be the first question.

Meg22 · Jan 11, 2008, 11:08 PM

He does have a girlfriend but I'm not trying to get him back or anything in six months I won't even be in the country. When we broke up it was very messy but we want to be each others friend and to do that we need to let everything in our past go and start a new. And if he is holding something back I fear that our friendship will end prematurely. If he doesn't want to talk about it I'm not going to force him too.

talaniman · Jan 12, 2008, 06:52 AM

Do you care about what the girlfriend may think, him talking to his ex, and want to be friends,and failing to mention his g/f? What would you say if you had a b/f doing the same thing, and failing to tell his ex, he had a g/f, which would be you? It doesn't bother you he is lying by omission? Your out of bounds, you both are.

s_cianci · Jan 12, 2008, 07:05 AM

Hell no! After 6 years he should be long gone out of your mind. If he wants to call you he can but don't get yourself all worked up for a big letdown. You broke up 6 years ago so I'd have to seriously question his motives for wanting your number after all this time. As it was, that was 8 months ago so I'd just forget all about it.

Meg22 · Jan 12, 2008, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Do you care about what the girlfriend may think, him talking to his ex, and want to be friends,and failing to mention his g/f? What would you say if you had a b/f doing the same thing, and failing to tell his ex, he had a g/f, which would be you? It doesn't bother you he is lying by omission? Your out of bounds, you both are.

But I knew he had a girlfriend, I brought her up he didn’t fail to mention her I just asked about her first, but I wouldn’t know what to say if the tables were turned I have never been in that situation.
I don’t know their relationship if its smooth sailing or a bit complicated and I’m not going to get into it with him it is his choice If he want to tell her or not(she might know I don’t know). To be honest no it doesn’t bother me we talk that’s it!
About being out of bounds that's your opinion.

BMI · Jan 12, 2008, 08:53 AM

So you called him just as friends right?

I'm not sure I buy this story. It's been 6 YEARS, you hear a story about him wanting your number and you go to lengths to get his just to find out what he is up to? I know you said calling has nothing to do with getting him back but then why do you care so much about contacting him 6 years after the break-up. Seems like you are putting in a lot of work for a "friendship", even writing your story on here suggests iot may be more than just a friendship call.

I think your curious as to why he would ask for your number after such a long time and you are calling to see if he likes you. I agree with Talaniman in regards to his g/f. So your off limits, do you really think it's a good idea to go digging around in the past after such a long time?

I think its curiosity and that you should leave it where it is before things get silly. SO many things can arise from this "friendship", plus I doubt he told his g/f he contacted you and that you actually called you. I would LOVE to hear his explanation on that topic.

Leave it alone, its been 6 years, I cannot imagine you are both the same person and I really don't think you have much to gain from his friendship after such a long time, but I can foresee what you could lose by all of this.

talaniman · Jan 12, 2008, 10:57 AM

So I thought that was it I wasn't going to push a friendship on him or anything like that, but New years rolled around and I got a message from him and we've talked more since and I've been wondering if I should ask him if he was holding anything back when we talk?

Originally Posted by Meg22

He does have a girlfriend but I'm not trying to get him back or anything in six months I won't even be in the country. When we broke up it was very messy but we want to be each others friend and to do that we need to let everything in our past go and start a new. And if he is holding something back I fear that our friendship will end prematurely. If he doesn't want to talk about it I'm not going to force him too.

Since you don't care about the g/f ,I think its more than just repairing a friendship from 6 years ago. I don't think either one of you is being completely honest.