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jessika713 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:09 PM

I have been dating this boy Kevin for 3 months and my feelings for him have grown a lot since the beginning lately we have been fighting a lot and we always seem to make up but I feel like my feelings for him have been slowly slipping away. I recently talking to this boy James and the more I'm with him the more my feelings for Kevin go away. I seriously don't know what to do. Please help!
j.lynn:mad:

nauticalstar420 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:11 PM

How old are you all?

If your feelings for Kevin are going away, be honest and tell him. It is not fair to keep stringing him along, and its not fair to let him think that everything is fine and dandy. Do you plan on leaving Kevin for this other boy?

jessika713 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by jessika713

I have been dating this boy Kevin for 3 months and my feelings for him have grown a lot since the begining lately we have been fighting a lot and we always seem to make up but i feel like my feelings for him have been slowly slipping away. I recently talking to this boy James and the more i'm with him the more my feelings for Kevin go away. I seriously don't know what to do. please help!!
j.lynn:mad:

I honeslty don't know if I should break up with Kevin for this other boy. And were 18.

nauticalstar420 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:18 PM

Well, how does Kevin treat you? Does he treat you good? Respect you? Think about things like that. While you may think that you like this other boy, ask yourself, will he treat you as good as Kevin does?

Are you even sure that the other boy likes you (enough to be with you)? Because you want to be sure before you break up with your current boyfriend. If you're not careful, you'll end up with no one. It sounds like you could just have a little crush on the other guy, but you've been with Kevin for 3 months. That sounds like something to me! :)

oneguyinohio · Jan 11, 2008, 05:22 PM

If you're not careful, you'll end up with no one.

That is not much of a reason to stay with Kevin. Encouraging her to hop from one man to the next... doesn't seem like the best advice. Would it be so terrible to not have someone for awhile? It would be better than staying with Kevin if she no longer has feelings for him.

nauticalstar420 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by oneguyinohio

That is not much of a reason to stay with Kevin. Encouraging her to hop from one man to the next...doesn't seem like the best advice. Would it be so terrible to not have someone for awhile? It would be better than staying with Kevin if she no longer has feelings for him.

I don't remember saying hop from one man to the next, but I do remember suggesting that she think about her relationship with Kevin before making any rash decisions. Whether she stays with Kevin, dumps him for the other guy, or dumps him to just be alone, it is her decision and she should do what makes her happy. Not having someone is not terrible, trust me.

And just because she has developed this little "crush" with this other guy, does not mean she doesn't have feelings for Kevin anymore. Sometimes little crushes like this can mask the feelings that we have for the ones we love, that's why I suggested to really think about how Kevin treats her and the feelings he has for her before she decides anything.

jmiles · Jan 11, 2008, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by jessika713

I have been dating this boy Kevin for 3 months and my feelings for him have grown a lot since the begining lately we have been fighting a lot and we always seem to make up but i feel like my feelings for him have been slowly slipping away. I recently talking to this boy James and the more i'm with him the more my feelings for Kevin go away. I seriously don't know what to do. please help!!
j.lynn:mad:

Well 3 months isn't very long but long enough 2 know whether this is the one for you.. you answered your own question. You are with someone but you are a talking to someone else.. if you feel the need 2 go elsewhere then there is something in your current relationship that is lacking something so you feel the need 2 find it somewhere else.. it could be that you have lost interest and just haven't realized it yet... ask yourself what it is that keeps you there with him and then ask yourself what makes you want to be with the other person... what truly makes you happy?

jessika713 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:29 PM

Well the problem is I cheated on Kevin with this kid james and o feel guilty and I just feel like I should end it with kevin because of what I did. Thank you for your advice:)

nauticalstar420 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by jessika713

well the problem is i cheated on Kevin with this kid james and o feel guilty and i just feel like i should end it with kevin because of what i did. Thank you for your advice:)

Ah-ha! You didn't say that before. :)

You need to tell Kevin about the cheating. It is the right thing to do. If you want to end it with him, he deserves to know why, and what you did. Trust me, if you're thinking of using the whole "its not you, its me" thing, it doesn't work, and no one ever falls for it. You really need to tell him the truth.

Even if you decide you want to stay with Kevin, you still need to tell him so he can decide whether he wants to be with someone who has cheated on him.

Either way, it is always best to be honest. :)

jmiles · Jan 11, 2008, 05:33 PM

Well then you might feel guilty for what you did and honestly the best thing to do is tell him... if not then you will eat yourself up with guilt... he may understand and forgive you and maybe things will work out... but you also need to think of why you cheated on him because deep inside there is a reason.. and then you need 2 work on that...

oneguyinohio · Jan 11, 2008, 05:43 PM

Poor Kevin,
He'll be better off without a cheater in his life. Remember that you are guilty of cheating when someone does it to you in the future. You won't have much reason to object to it.

nauticalstar420 · Jan 11, 2008, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by oneguyinohio

Poor Kevin,
He'll be better off without a cheater in his life. Remember that you are guilty of cheating when someone does it to you in the future. You won't have much reason to object to it.

I have to say that I agree. Cheating is bad, and if you are willing to cheat, then you are right, you don't have feelings for him anymore. People don't cheat on the ones they love/have feelings for.

Just please be honest with him and don't string him along.

talaniman · Jan 11, 2008, 07:18 PM

Give Kevin a break, and let him go, because you are no good for him.