Check out some similar questions!

Maggie83 · Jan 9, 2008, 08:23 AM

No its not beating a girl up to make them like you lol!

Romefalls19 · Jan 9, 2008, 08:30 AM

Lol... good.. because I was going the wrong route then.. I'm trying the No Contact thing myself and it is incredibly hard.. I'm only on day 3

Maggie83 · Jan 9, 2008, 10:41 AM

Just keep trying my friend don't ask me for any advice I'm not exactly mr no contact at the moment!

You'll have ups and downs like the rest of us but keep trying and trying and don't let yourself get too confused like me!

Ash123 · Jan 9, 2008, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

lol...good..cuz I was going the wrong route then..I'm trying the No Contact thing myself and it is incredibly hard..I'm only on day 3

Day 3 huh?

Well, it gets easier over time,... but you won't feel the little changes for at least 4 weeks.
Then it gets tougher - BUT your brain is being trained and it DOES get easier during the second 4 weeks...

See my Guide Below to get thru it the best you can.

Try not to cave - it's not healthy - even though it feels good for the moment.
Then it feels worse.

mafiaangel180 · Jan 9, 2008, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

you won't feel the little changes for at least 4 weeks.
Then it gets tougher - BUT your brain is being trained and it DOES get easier during the second 4 weeks.....

Wow, that's freaky how accurate that is... it really did get tougher after four weeks. (it's my two month day today of the breakup and like 41 days of NC) and today I was actually extremely happy for like the second time during this whole thing.

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 06:04 AM

I think it gets harder, I think keep your distance is the only way to heal but its is very hard indeed in fact I would put this up there as one of if not the biggest challenges of my life so far... im still stuck in the hoping she'll come back... will she won't she stage! I can't help feeling that way I thought after three months apart I'd be much stronger than I'm proving to be!

Im just trying to get on with things but its more of an exsistance than a life right now!

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 06:20 AM

I know how you feel Maggie... I still hope my ex comes back, and look for any sign of hope. I know it's not right and completely the opposite reason for NC, but I'm new to it, so I have to learn this idea. And the fact that she has her friends drive past my house 4 times while I'm outside doesn't help my confused mind...

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 06:29 AM

Yeah that's why N/C can be good, it helps stop a lot of confusion and unelss your ex contacts you direct then your pretty safe... you know my story and I think it's a complicated one so I have no idea how its going to turn out. For now I'm trying my best to work on me but she still enters my head very often every day!

I think N/C can get their interest up but its not a tonic to get them back I think you working on yourself and being independent and happy in yourself is the most attractive thing for any person not just your ex!

Your in the early stages things could work out soon enough but stick with what the people advise on here and what you know you have to do because nobody knows your mind but you

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 06:32 AM

Yea, it was so hard. I mean I'm not 100% positive it was her and her friends.. But my one friend dates my ex friend and he said they were out having "a girls night out." As soon as I heard that.. I went to text my ex saying "if you going to keep driving by my house, at least stop and talk" but I didn't... I'm making progress

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 06:40 AM

Well done! Don't rise to it my friend, that's what she wants to do... she was probably showing off to her girlfriends just stay silent she's in the happy I'm free stage and will be going out and enjoying herself but over time that fades and you realise the grass isn't greener on the other side, believe me I've been there myself!

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 06:42 AM

What made it all better... I was outside talking to a great friend who was a girl... So the jealousy level probably went through the roof.

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 07:16 AM

Well that's good. Her messing around backfired... but try no to get into a ''you did this so I did that'' situation... just drop of her radar for a while act like your not bothered if she fools around driving by then get on with building yourself back up!

It's the only way forward!

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 07:22 AM

Oh.. I'm not even going to act like I knew it was her. I work with my ex, so if I see her tonight. I'll put on my happy face and only say hi, how are you if she talks first

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 11:04 AM

Just be you don't put on a big show she'll see through it... just say hi and leave it at that!

Im finding today really hard, I don't want to contact her I just want to know why she keeps confusing me by texting me then ignoring me then getting on my train and waiting around me a little while and dissaperaing! So many questions but no answers!

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 11:17 AM

Exactly... Im curious as to why my ex decided to drive by my house last night with her friends... It's like if you have something to say, be mature and pick up the phone and call.. I won't pick up the first time but you can try again... I refuse to text back.. Unless it's "I think we should meet up and talk"

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 11:31 AM

It may have been more her friends and she just went along with it, but to be honest let it go and keep it strictly business for a little while I'm not saying be horrible just keep your contact if you must to a minimum and see what happens

With mine its like what do you want from me... you dumped me then messed me around a bit then disappeared and now your texting me and your off again!

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 11:40 AM

Exactly! She dumped me because I was too jealous which I was but I am actively getting help in that department.. I'm just going to keep my contact to a minimum and see how she likes it ha ha.. I don't care if that came of mean either lol

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 11:49 AM

Lol I mean its been three months for me but there always seems to be something going on... its like every 2-3 weeks either of us breaks the silence at times I think I'm just deluding myself by hoping she will come back, maybe I am but I just don't get why she won't just let me go if she doesn't want me back!

It like she doesn't want me but doesn't want me to move on, to me that's a sure sign she's struggling to move on but like I say I could be deluded!

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 11:57 AM

Yea I know how you feel. I mean I'm doing this NC thing in hopes I can move on or move on and make her see what's she's missing out on. Its not like she's out hookin up with other guys or anything

Maggie83 · Jan 10, 2008, 04:55 PM

I hate myself for loving a woman that doesn't want me! A lot of my friends think I've made her life much better than when I met her, I mean she had very few friends had little money etc and I looked after her and gave her everything she wanted but now she knows I can't make it any better she's off to find a man that can! Also a lot of my friends thought she thought she was better than most people I don't know why, she has no real reason to think like that were all working class people trying to earn a living and be happy and I never saw it myself but love is blind!