[b317]

I'll try to make this as brief as possible... My husband and I have been separated for 2 years. He filed for divorce about 5 months ago. He NEVER showed for any of the financial mediations and the case was dismissed by a judge. He did show for a custody mediation and we agreed to every other weekend and some holidays. A judge never signed off on it, the judge signed off that the case was dismissed. Thus, everything pertaining to it was dismissed along with that case number. I then filed for my own divorce. It cost me $2500 and nothing has been done yet. He has NEVER supported his daughter. His mother gives me $250 per month because I choose to let my daughter go to her house every other weekend. I have begged him for help. I have no car. I only make enough to pay for rent and daycare exactly. No left over money, my mother helps me as much as she can. He refuses to help unless his is forced. I have a court date coming up for temporary child support. I have been offered a job that I cannot refuse in another state. I will have a car, a house and plenty of money to provide for my daughter on my own. There is no custody agreement, can I leave? I will come to an agreement with him later but I want to leave while there is nothing saying I can't. I don't want to get divorced here because he told me he would basically never let me leave to better our lives. So I want to go before any agreements are made. Is it possible? Especially if my daughter will have an extremely better life? I also have another daughter, not by him, but her Dad is in full support of her and my decision. I am going to family and to a new job, better schools, beautiful house, etc. Everyone says all he can do is get an attorney and I cannot be arrested or forced to come back without a court order. Is that true?

[Lostandcunfused01]

Yes that is true, but even then If you can prove that this new place that you are moving to is better then were he lives then all you have to do is show that to the courts. If the courts agree then you will be allowed to move.

[ScottGem]

If he has not exercised any visitation and there is no court ordered visitation then you are free to move. If he files suit against you after the fact, you can argue that he did not exercise visitation and that he blocked a divorce settlement.

[twinkiedooter]

You are free to go where you wish at this point with your children and he cannot do a thing about it. Once you establish your residency requirements in the new state, by all means file for divorce from this jerk asap. Some states require a 6 month residency.

Sounds like he's not going to block anything and he's just a blow hard trying to scare and control you. If he could not even go through with his own divorce with you do you actually think he's going to try and do anything to you if you're in another state? No. If he did I'd faint dead away!

You can and should though go after him for child support. Your child deserves the money and he really has no say in the matter if he does or does not owe child support. The judge and court are the determining factor on that. If he holds a good job at the same place for say, several years - bingo - he's an automatic candidate for salary garnishment. He'll have to keep quitting his job and getting another one to tap dance out of paying child support. It will take sometime to get this established during your divorce, but don't just let him skate with no child support being paid. Temporary child support is one thing and permanent child support is another matter completely.

Just because you filed for a divorce from him and nothing has been done as yet... you can still have your case dismissed in the state you live in and then refile in your new state. If he didn't file a countersuit divorce case you're okay with doing that.

I know it costs more to refile, but you're likely to have less problems moving to another state and starting all over versus waiting to have your divorce go through where you now live and hopefully getting him to agree to paying anything (which looks like it's not going to happen unless a judge so orders it).

Also when you do move and have a better life financially, you will feel better about yourself not being at his mercy and begging everyone for help.

Possibly the attorney who filed your divorce may be kind enough to negotiate some kind of a "refund" of your money that you paid. This sometimes does happen if the case has just been filed and not a lot of "discovery" has taken place or exchanges of court papers, documents between parties, etc. If it's "just at the beginning of the movie" then you have a pretty good chance of having some of the retainer money returned to you. Hey, it's worth a shot to see if you can recover anything. If the attorney does not refund anything, then by all means be sure to get your entire file from him. Get any papers you gave him back. You can also get copies of whatever papers were filed in the clerk's office from him as well and any of the opposing attorney's papers as well. Even if he does refund some money to you, be sure to get copies of all the paperwork and get your originals back from him so that you will have for your next attorney. Be sure to keep the paperwork from when he filed his suit against you as well. New attorneys like to see the "paper trail" as it helps them determine just what is going on.