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Kitten316 · Jan 6, 2008, 11:42 PM

Ok so I'm 13 and my moms on-and-off-again "bf" has been touching me. He is 52 but he has only done it a few times. I'm pretty sure @ least 1 or 2 of the times he was kind of drunk though. He has even done it when I was standing right next to my mom, she didn't even notice. OK so I haven't said no (I don't think) I think I might have said "stop it" or "dont" but I honestly was so shocked when it happened I hardly remember saying anything. But I do know what he did and I'm not making it up. I'm not looking for attention either I'm just really confused. You see, the first time it happenedi was wearing a fairly low-cut V-neck top (which has me thinking from then on that it was ALL my fault). Also I told my two closest friends and they didn't really care, I asked my ex (who is still in love with me) what to do (cuz he cares so much, it was too hard to keep something like that from him because he knew there was something wrong), and finally I told my cousin (who is a year older) and she broke down crying and handed me the phone repeatedly telling me to call 911. I am so confused I don't know what to do, of if it was even considered abuse at all. Also my mom has "broken-up" with him but she's just going to go back to him she always does, and I'm scared of what's going to happen if he does coming back. I'm thinking of maybe running away.. . But then again would that solve much??

Clough · Jan 7, 2008, 12:00 AM

What do you mean by "touching?"

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 12:17 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

What do you mean by "touching?"

Like trying to shove his fingers up my vag and rub it , (with pants on) and me trying to get away then he pulled me back and did it again. This has happened more than once though.

Clough · Jan 7, 2008, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by Kitten316

like trying to shove his fingers up my vag and rub it , (with pants on) and me trying to get away then he pulled me back and did it again. this has happened more than once though.

This is abuse. Authorities do need to know that this is happening. Have you told your mom about this?

Wondergirl · Jan 7, 2008, 12:23 AM

Yes, that's sexual abuse. Are you brave enough to report him? Maybe your cousin has had problems with him too, thus her crying and pushing the phone at you. Ask her. If he's doing this with you, he's doing it to others. Running away doesn't help anyone else he has done this to or anyone else he will abuse in the future.

P.S. Like Clough said, what about telling your mother?

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

This is abuse. Authorities do need to know that this is happening. Have you told your mom about this?

Nope. She's completely oblivious. She probably doesn't even care. I mean because if I told authorities then my mom would get pissed and it would start a whole new thing to argue aout between my mom and my dad ( they're divorced). Plus what would happen to my brother he's only ten.. . and on the other hand she probably wouldn't even believe me anyway. She doesn't trust me anymore ( I don't know why though) and she's constantly accusing me of lying even when I'm telling the truth. She hates me so I don't tell her anything. Also I couldn't talk to anyone in my family (except my because sometimes, but no adults) I'm not close with my family anymore, and I'm only close to a couple friends.

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 12:31 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes, that's sexual abuse. Are you brave enough to report him? Maybe your cousin has had problems with him too, thus her crying and pushing the phone at you. Ask her. If he's doing this with you, he's doing it to others. Running away doesn't help anyone else he has done this to or anyone else he will abuse in the future.

P.S. Like Clough said, what about telling your mother?

My cousin hardly even knows him and lives in a different city.

Clough · Jan 7, 2008, 12:41 AM

Originally Posted by Clough
This is abuse. Authorities do need to know that this is happening. Have you told your mom about this?

Originally posted by Kitten316
Nope. She's completely oblivious. She probably doesn't even care. I mean because if I told authorities then my mom would get pissed and it would start a whole new thing to argue aout between my mom and my dad ( they're divorced). Plus what would happen to my brother he's only ten.. . and on the other hand she probably wouldn't even believe me anyway. She doesn't trust me anymore ( I don't know why though) and she's constantly accusing me of lying even when I'm telling the truth. She hates me so I don't tell her anything. Also I couldn't talk to anyone in my family (except my because sometimes, but no adults) I'm not close with my family anymore, and I'm only close to a couple friends.

Okay. I don't think that you can predict how your mom would think or feel unless you told her. How about telling an adult at the school that you attend as to what is going on?

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

Okay. I don't think that you can predict how your mom would think or feel unless you told her. How about telling an adult at the school that you attend as to what is going on?

I know I'm sorry I kind of over-analize things sometimes. I've thought about talking to my counsellar but then she probably tell my parents then so on and so forth.. . Sorry I'm kind of rejecting all your helpful answers its just that everything seems so hopeless right now.

Clough · Jan 7, 2008, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by Clough
[I]Okay. I don't think that you can predict how your mom would think or feel unless you told her. How about telling an adult at the school that you attend as to what is going on?

Originally posted by Kitten316
I know I'm sorry I kind of over-analize things sometimes. I've thought about talking to my counsellar but then she probably tell my parents then so on and so forth.. . Sorry I'm kind of rejecting all your helpful answers its just that everything seems so hopeless right now.

The best thing for you to do is to report this to an adult who can do something about it. Don't you agree?

Wondergirl · Jan 7, 2008, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by Kitten316

everything seems so hopeless right now.

What's hopeless? I see only improvement possible.

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

The best thing for you to do is to report this to an adult who can do something about it. Don't you agree?

You I guess so. Its just I'm not close to any adults. I don't really trust anyone. I don't know who I can talk to.

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 01:00 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What's hopeless? I see only improvement possible.

Well latley it seems like with the push of a button my whole life could fall apart.

Wondergirl · Jan 7, 2008, 01:02 AM

So you aren't willing or interested to do anything to improve your life. That's what I'm hearing.

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 01:06 AM

I want to improve my life but it feels like I don't deserve to be happy. Its like there's a constant war going in in my brain and neither side is winning.

Clough · Jan 7, 2008, 01:10 AM

Do you have school tomorrow (today)?

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

Do you have school tomorrow (today)?

You, why? I usually can't fall asleep. Until @ least 3am.

Wondergirl · Jan 7, 2008, 01:12 AM

So how can you stop that war? Have you ever tried in a helpful way? (I'm thinking no.)

Kitten316 · Jan 7, 2008, 01:14 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So how can you stop that war? Have you ever tried in a helpful way? (I'm thinking no.)

I don't know how to stop it. But its not just over this its over everything.

Clough · Jan 7, 2008, 01:16 AM

I'm thinking that "no" is correct also, Wondergirl.

Kitten316, how you are going to be able to start to solve these problems, is by speaking with adults who are physically near to you who can help you.