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spartan24018 · Dec 29, 2007, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by roogirl

Keep going with the no contact, I know it's murder, and you are not pathetic, you are behaving like someone who has just had their heart broken, we have all been through that. I still check my email and my yahoo about 10 times a day, all with the same result, a bit fat nothing. I think we do this because we are looking for ways to numb the pain.

Here is something that might help you, and I quote: 'Quite honestly, they will be more intrigued by the fact that you didnt call than if you did. Not keeping the lines of communication open says a lot about somebody. It says they've moved on and are not interested in spending their valuable time on someone who doesn't want to be with them' taken from the book 'it's called a breakup because it's broken' by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Rutola-Behrendt. This is a book written primarily for the girl but I think this quote applies with both sexes.

Thanks roogirl, that'll be my reminder next time I want to go and call her or something. She doesn't talk to me and looks like she easily replaced me. I'll be strong, I'll show her. She had the nerves to say "after all we've been through" the last time we talked. She wanted to know something and I didn't tell her. I couldn't believe her but I didn't go off and explode on her. Enough talking about her anyway, and I appreciate the advice and help. I hope you have a happy new year. To you and everyone else.

redaphid · Dec 31, 2007, 11:20 AM

Well, I'm back to day one, after two months of no contact. She broke up with me 4 months ago, ending a 3 year relationship. I saw her for the first time in 4 months 2 days ago, and it was so painful acting like we were "just friends", that I felt I had to set the record straight, explain that I still had feelings for her, and that I didn't know if I wanted to see her again or if we could be just friends.
I know it was bad of me to break no contact,but I was in a somewhat unusual situation, as she moved 1600 miles away from me back to her mom when she broke up, and this is the last time I would be in the area before deciding whether to move to Hawaii or near her (Arizona) at the end of the summer. She says she's moved on, that I'm a nice guy that deserves a good girl, but that girl's not her. Four months, and I still can't stop thinking about her. But, I guess, at least now I know. I kept hoping the no contact would make her miss me, but she's just jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend during that time.

George_1950 · Dec 31, 2007, 11:29 AM

You wrote: "She broke up with me 4 months ago...." and then "she's just jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend during that time."

My guess is the timeline is a little different, and she was dropping you before this.

Go back and re-read the No Contact information because it is for you, numero uno. And check this: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html You will be fine.

talaniman · Dec 31, 2007, 01:14 PM

Amazing, even after being told NC is for healing, some still think that it's the magic pill to get the partner back. Truly amazing.

friend4u178 · Dec 31, 2007, 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Amazing, even after being told NC is for healing, some still think that its the magic pill to get the partner back. Truly amazing.

LOL... It's a revolving door Tal , and we'll just have to keep repeating ourselves :-)

lunchboxau · Jan 1, 2008, 04:13 AM

I'm on day 13 today, with 2 hickup's in me sending text's. One was a reply to her wishing me a merry christmas and the second was a stupid drunken lapse after going out with friends I sent her a message thanking her for the time we did have together blah blah :)

NC is definitely helping me let go slowly and while I still really miss her and don't fully understand the reason she broke up with me I can start to see that I miss having someone as an outlet to love/do things with more so than just 'her' if that makes sense. I feel a little aggrieved too that this person was given more than any other partner as I had thought 'I had found the one' and put probably too much effort in comparison to other relationships but I guess it's better to have given too much than too little :)

I get the feeling I will be in a lot nicer place in 2 weeks time if I feel this much better about it after 2 weeks (I was a freakin mess to begin with).

roogirl · Jan 1, 2008, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by lunchboxau

I'm on day 13 today, with 2 hickup's in me sending text's. One was a reply to her wishing me a merry christmas and the second was a stupid drunken lapse after going out with friends I sent her a message thanking her for the time we did have together blah blah :)

NC is definitely helping me let go slowly and while I still really miss her and don't fully understand the reason she broke up with me I can start to see that I miss having someone as an outlet to love/do things with more so than just 'her' if that makes sense. I feel a little aggrieved too that this person was given more than any other partner as I had thought 'I had found the one' and put probably too much effort in comparison to other relationships but I guess it's better to have given too much than too little :)

I get the feeling I will be in a lot nicer place in 2 weeks time if I feel this much better about it after 2 weeks (I was a freakin mess to begin with).

Yes you will be in a much nicer place in a couple more weeks, just do what you need to do to work it out of your system. I've been writing him letters that I will never send, and that all helps too. Don't worry about the hiccups! Just keep going, it's hard and it hurts like hell, but soon you will be free of all this pain, helped along by no contact.

roogirl · Jan 3, 2008, 07:40 PM

I'm now up to day 35 with no contact. This has been the hard road, but it's been worth it. I've learned much and grown a great deal, I feel stronger than I have for a long time, but I'm not out of the woods just yet. I'm starting to care less and less about whether he misses me or not. Even if he does, he is only missing me because he is choosing, every day, not to be with me. Someone like that is not worth my time! That's what's keeping me motivated.

Maggie83 · Jan 4, 2008, 03:49 AM

I'm on day 21 of no contact the longest I have ever been without contacting my ex! She has contacted me with a chain text about ''forgiving in 2008 and send this to all the people you love and don't want to lose in 2008'' blah blah blah. I didn't text back does that count as a break in N/C? It certainly tested me to the limit and I very, very nearly gave in and contacted her!

Its been really tough and I still love her but like Roogirl said she's choosing not to be with me every day, not the other way around!

ISneezeFunny · Jan 4, 2008, 08:48 AM

4 weeks now. 1 hiccup 3 weeks ago.

Although I'm doing fine... getting on with my life, just having a good time... not to mention I have no trouble sleeping anymore...

I continue to find myself checking her myspace daily and AIM to see if she's on.. . hmm.

Maggie83 · Jan 4, 2008, 09:01 AM

Don't worry about things like that Sneeze, best thing you can do is delete her, I have and all of her friends from myspace, Facebook etc... ive basically fallen off the radar and its working for me at the moment I'm getting stronger everyday... like I said my resolve has been tested in the last week but I came through and now she knows there are no easy ways into my life again she has to fight for me now and if she's not willing to do it then its her loss not mine I'm in the same position I have been since day 1 and maybe, just maybe she's having second thoughts?! Right now I don't care, I care about me and me alone!

ISneezeFunny · Jan 4, 2008, 09:12 AM

Good call... cept currently, I'm under a network at school and work so I can't delete her... there doesn't exist a buddy list. Everyone's just automatically on it. I find myself checking to see if she's online on the network.

My goal today: do not check her myspace.

Maggie83 · Jan 4, 2008, 10:56 AM

Well when you don't check myspace, pat yourself on the back and celebrate!

Your next goal will be ignoring her whenever your online don't check on her

After that your done!

We all want to know what are ex's are up to believe me where are you going to get by checking... more confusion! Drop of the radar and heal then see what happens!

ihatewestseneca · Jan 4, 2008, 12:00 PM

You said it maggie... I've checked my ex's Facebook a few times knowing that ill only be more hurt and confused, but I did it anyway, and guess what, more hurt and confused... but I'm doing better... been 2 weeks and she texted me saying that she's coming over tomorrow, I told her I was busy but she said that she's still going to come over. So hopefully I can survive this final encounter before she goes back to school... I'm hoping she'll have something positive to say, but I'm not going to get my hopes up.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 4, 2008, 12:24 PM

Wait... you said you're busy and she's STILL coming over?

I'm glad that my ex is back home for the holidays... but we'll see how well this goes when she's back in school.

Maggie83 · Jan 4, 2008, 12:37 PM

Well keep your chin up here's a little saying for you:
Hope for the best,
Fear the worst,
And take what comes!

About the truest thing my ex ever said lol! Good luck with your meeting I hope it goes well for you!

As for me I'm going to carry on with N/C and see where it takes me, at the moment I'm getting in better shape emotionally than I was a few months ago and I feel like I've gained some of the power in my life back from my ex!

ihatewestseneca · Jan 4, 2008, 03:30 PM

Well, she pretty much begged me until I said okay, but I'm definitley going to keep it short

Maggie83 · Jan 4, 2008, 03:38 PM

Depends what you want my friend, be prepared for what she's going to say good or bad either way your not too surprised

kuulski · Jan 4, 2008, 03:44 PM

I don't know if I want to call it a relapse but my ex broke NC I'm sure a couple of you guys have seen the post across these boards. We have emailed each other over the past week or so. Actually she initiated and I just respond. She has been doing things that it seems she is reaching out but I am not trying to be stressed or read into what she is doing. I did that before which got me stressed. I socialize and I see other women and I don't call her or text her she just emails me. She has been asking me questions but nothing too deep like am I seeing anybody etc.. Just how are you how you been type stuff. I am evaluating now how I feel about it and if I want it to continue. Some friends have said I should ask what all this means but I honestly don't think it is time to ask anything. I am still in healing and I am still focused on getting myself together it does intrigue me but it doesn't consume me which I feel is progress. :>)

ISneezeFunny · Jan 4, 2008, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by kuulski

Some friends have said I should ask what all this means but I honestly dont think it is time to ask anything. )

Not to mention, if you ask, they will IMMEDIATELY retract, thinking that they baited you. Don't give in. and of course, they're never going to tell you what it means. They'll play it off as "just talking"