[sherryd24]

I married my husband at a young age. We have a 4yr old son. For the first 5yrs of my marriage he had physically abused me.I thought due to the different cultures that was the way he showed his love.Well the draw for me to call the police was when he head butted me and kicked me in front of our son. He was given probation and forced to go to domestic violence classes.He's been attending them for 1yr and I started to see some changes about him.Well in Nov he started back calling me names he hasn't put his hands on me.But he's becoming more short fussed and really unable to talk to.new year come and he's not talking to me and today I tried to talk to him and he just repeatly said it's the new year and you will get everything you deserve.I just don't understand is there something I'm doing wrong or is it the age difference he's 7 yrs older than me?I don't get it b-cause I cater to his every need I pay every bill in our home, put gas in his vehicle and mine. I go to school and work a full time job as a supervisor for a pretty big company.He works a full time job also and his main priority is always his family back home in Africa.When I need something he doesn't help me I have to beg before he helps. Is our relationship over or is he just going through some phase.Any info is helpful Thank you

[shygrneyzs]

Why do you need a husband? You are providing everything in your family and he is providing what? Harsh words, name calling, potential for physical violence, not to mention an environment that your child is learning from (how to treat women, based on the Father's words and actions and attitudes).

It is not the age difference. Perhaps the culture, I am not sure. But what ever it is, it is not healthy or normal or safe or sane. He is not going to change for the long term. No doubt he will blow up again. I worry about his words that you will get what you deserve. I'd be packing my clothes and those of my child and getting out before it is impossible to leave.

[shygrneyzs]

I really feel for the position you are in. Are there resources in your area for women? Like a safe shelter or crisis center? Is there anyone that would allow you and your child to stay with for a short term? Even if there were a women's resource center near you, talking to someone there might give you some ideas of what you can do now. You can make your plans and try and safeguard yourself and your child.

Promise that you will start looking for your options. Good luck.

[Emland]

You need to get your child and yourself packed and get out of there now. It's obvious he went because he was forced by the court and not because he wanted to change.

[George_1950]

I can't imagine why you would stay. Where do you live?

[simoneaugie]

Hi sherry, I don't think your marriage is over I think it never was. Please leave him now. No promises of future good behavior from him are worth the abuse. He will continue to abuse you, and the threat he made? Get out of there. Wait, can you kick him out?

[talaniman]

You may have been married, but in name only. Get this guy out of your life, far out. Your already doing all the work, you may as well get rid of the dead, dangerous weight.

[robgun]

Since when does love involve putting your hands on or degrading your significant other, yes we all have our differences and little spats, but hey the fun part is the making up, if he's not talking to you I would guess that there are deeper issues he's having, so I would get out while the getting is good.

[LearningAsIGo]

Abuse is not a phase. If he's an abuser, no matter what you do he will find a reason to hurt you.

You are already independent and able to care for yourself and your son alone. Please leave immediately for the safety of both of you! You cannot continue to stay with a man who could be driven with rage to kill you... you cannot live where your son will learn to do the same. Please do not continue to stay and be demoralized, beaten, abused, unloved, provoked, and used. You are worth much more than that... and so is your son!

You do not deserve any of this abuse. Nothing you can say or do will change him... he needs professional help... your only priority must be to distance yourself from him so he cannot continue to hurt you before he gets help.

I have a list of websites I'd like you to view:
Legal Advocates for Abused Women
Signs and Symptoms of Abuse
Women's Abuse Prevention
Women's Law - getting ready to leave the abuse

[preciousbaby]

Leave him before it is too late you don't deserve to be treated like this and your son shouldn't even see this as this could affect him later on in life
You pay your own way the bills the food you don't need him he only helps you when you beg go now and don't look back