[mafiaangel180]

i very nearly snapped last night and text her what she was thinking sending me that chain text, im just so sick of trying to figure her out all of the time wondering why shes done things, is the text to get my attention? to feel me out and see my reaction? i havent got any ideas left.

i know, i know!! i should be concentrating on me and i am, im in a much healthier place than i was a few weeks ago and im enjoying my life at the moment she just seems to always be lingering in the background despite my best efforts not to contact her.

Why can't she just leave me alone if she doesnt want anything to do with me anymore?

For control. She wants you to always think about her regardless of how or what she feels for you. Just keep ignoring her, and don't let her know it gets to you.

[talaniman]

With a stroke of a key, she can shake your world, send her to spam. She will make a pest of herself to stay on your mind, the reasons are her own, but meant to confuse and distract you. An infantile way of getting your attention. Ignore her, and stay on your path.

[ISneezeFunny]

Man that's rough. Lucky for me, my ex is with some other guy... so she doesn't REALLY play mind games... nor is she really the type to play games like that.

She sent me an e-mail explaining our breakup, and that was it. But I guess we'll see what happens when she realizes that the new guy sucks and we get back to school.

Hang in there big guy. Good luck.

[Maggie83]

Yeah it is rough, I mean we have had a break before (down to me) and she just disappered and I had to do all of the work to get there back, of the three times (in three months) no contact has been broken its been down to her!

Well I haven't heard of her being with anyone, its not my business but if she was she would have no need to text me things like that... I know it was just a chain text but saying things like send this to all of the people you love and don't want to lose in 2008 has really messed me up!

[ISneezeFunny]

Yeah I feel you. For now, do your own thing. Go get a buddy to go on a run with you, or go to the gym, or even go out for drinks or watch a movie. I know that the days are fine, and the nights are rough... at night, I used to just go to the gym until I couldn't lift my arms... come home, shower, and just pass out.

Ignore it. Let her wonder what you're doing. Don't let it get to you!!

[Maggie83]

Yeah that's a good idea, I can't work out at the moment I've done some damage to my hip, I a good runner and do about 10-15 miles per week but for six weeks that's a no-no!

The best thing I can do is ignore it, it will make her see I'm not there to rely on all of the time and if she don't want me back I'm gone for good, its just so hard not to react when you still feel for someone so much! It will be driving her mad because I didn't text her nor did I text her at xmas and new year so maybe she's getting the message I don't know!

[ISneezeFunny]

There you go. As for me, my ex hasn't contacted me at all... no xmas... no new year's... only one e-mail after we broke up. So I guess... NC isn't that hard. Only thing is, I feel like I'm not "gaining" the power... which kind of sucks. I was expecting her to call/text and things of that nature... hmm

It's all right. She does her thing. I'll do mine. If we meet again, I guess we'll see what happens.

[Maggie83]

Good on you my friend that's the attitude to have, with life you never know what's happening next!

I'd have rather had it your way to be honest at least she's been honest and let you be in so letting you begin to heal in your own way, my ex has came in and out of my life since the split, I don't even think she knows what she wants but me begging isn't going to help no one so I'm doing nothing and getting on.

Im not too sure who has the power in my relationship I just know that although it hurts what I'm doing is best for me with or without her in the long run!

[George_1950]

I agree: you've got to look out for you in the relationships. You get too carried away with being with her, if she isn't honest, you are in big trouble. Way to go.

[Maggie83]

Well my ex isn't honest, I never know what she's thinking or feeling its always a game, trying to figure her out, so I've given up on trying to figure it out all I care about is what I'm thinking and feeling and right now that's doing the trick... I'll have bad days I know that but I'm getting there... I think!

[ISneezeFunny]

Well, she hasn't been honest. In fact, she's denied the new relationship... to me and her friends. So no one really knows what's going on... but the signs are there: she's been spotted driving his car... he's been spotted leaving her room (she lives in a dorm) in the morning... etc. but I don't really care. Whatever she does, she does. I'm sure she's keeping it a secret to escape judgment from her friends/family.

Anyway, it's a new year! Girls don't think about how their gameplan might backfire. They think IF I PLAY MIND GAMES WITH HIM, HE'LL COME BACK.. . what if he doesn't? Women. Psh.

[George_1950]

There have been some wonderfully, excellent statements made on AMHD the past few weeks by women who love their men; there is no question about how they feel and what they are willing to do. If your girl is causing you confusion and your stomach is not feeling good, you've got big-time issues. We need to call a spade a spade.

[Maggie83]

Sneeze: Sorry to hear that man, nobody should be lied to like that, keep you head up you seem like a good guy and I'm a firm believer in good things happen to good people!

George:im a bit confused... what are you trying to say, it might just be me reading it wrong, I'm a bit stupid today! Lol

She is confusing me about what she wants from me, its like if you don't want to be with me stop contacting me, surely she knows that's what's best for both of us and I have already told her not to bother me and I won't bother her.

Im not letting it get to me I'm just getting on with things and IF (BIG, BIG IF) she decides she wants to get me back she has work to do I have nothing to prove to anyone least of all myself! As things stand its over and I'm working towards making me feel better about myself I don't need her for that, it just feels a little up in the air whenever she breaks N/C

[Maggie83]

I was getting the train to work this morning and my ex gets on the same train, she was way out of her normal route, she must have driven out of her way to get there, she hovered around me I just stood listening to my iPod and ignoring her then when she saw me (she didn't know I saw her) she went to the other end of the platform!

She's sent me that stupid text to get my attention now when she sees me she freezes and sneaks around me to avoid speaking, is this because I've not text her back and she's frightened to talk to me?

[talaniman]

Could it be your healing has her confused, even more?

[Maggie83]

I don't know I haven't got a clue anymore! lol! Maybe, maybe she hasn't heard from me so has gone for a chance meeting but when she's seen me she's got frightened to talk to me face to face I really don't know.

What do you think tman?

[talaniman]

I think after all the time she has spent with you, she is alone now. The grass was not greener on the other side, so she is returning to her familiar, and reliable, YOU. Does that mean you should open that door again, NO, heal first and then make a decision on what direction you want to go. She may just want your friendship and support. Well you asked.

[Maggie83]

Good answer, I think I'm staying out of it and staying away from her unless she contacts me directly about us, I also think your right I'm at that 50-50 stage where one moment I want her back and the next I don't so I have to take a little step back from it for a while.

I also think your right that she's had her fun and the party season is over she's starting to miss the relaibility, well I'm not that easy to turn I might have in the past but not now I'm stronger, I'm no longer a lap dog!

Well she isn't getting friendship or support from me she gave those up when she left so if that's what she wants she's not going to be very happy!

[ISneezeFunny]

I'm kind of weirded out about the whole "go out of her way to get on your train" then "run away when she sees you" thing. If she knew you didn't see her... why did she run away? It's like going all the way to the store to buy milk, then go to the milk aisle, then turn back. Why..

[mafiaangel180]

why did she run away? it's like going all the way to the store to buy milk, then go to the milk aisle, then turn back. why...?

She probably felt stupid when he was ignoring her as he was listening to his iPod.