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    canadianbeauty's Avatar
    canadianbeauty Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 2, 2008, 11:24 PM
    Why is he still contacting me?
    I know I am going to get the 3rd degree over this. I am a very confident person but when it comes to relationships I sometimes feel like I am being walked all over. I am the first to tell my friends "you teach people how to treat you"... o.k. now for the story

    Met my ex over a year ago. Everything was great for the first 6 months. So much so that he moved cities to be with me. He then went on a vacation with his friends, a wedding. Lot's of people. He came back texting this one girl and talking to her frequently. I kicked him out of my life when he texted her "get out of my head" after he had sex with me. He freaked when I went on his phone and tended to focus on this instead of the real issue

    We decided to work things through and got back together. Trust was a bit of an issue with me. My guard still up and needed him to prove it to me. A few months after, he moved back to his original city to work (better money there), said he wanted us to workout and was committed to me. He came home every 4 -5 days for 4 days. It was great. I was falling for him again. I caught him on a single internet site. He said he was only on it because he was bored and thought it would be funny if he found someone he knew on the site. He forgot to mention that he e-mailed a women to tell her how "stunning" she was. O.K. I believed him, he was sincere. He did get off the site. AGAIN, I needed to build up my trust. I wanted to check his phone, but I didn't.

    When drinking very heavily, he is not fun to be around. He can be quite a boar TO ME... he asked the cab driver to stop and kick me to the curve. He says things like "what's so ing important" "i'm ing sleeping", he said that he wouldn't be devastated if I died. He would be sad but not devastated.

    He doesn't include me when he goes out with his friends. I don't depend on him foe entertainment I just wanted to feel like part of his life.
    He gets annoyed when I ask hum questions and I frustrate him. NOW he feels compelled to come home. He would create fights out of nothing.

    He limits me on his profile. So I can't see his wall or the friends he makes or the pictures he has. It hurt SOOOO much that I took him off my friends list. When he showed me the pictures he had there were no pictures of, but there was one picture of him and this other girl, they looked like they were going out.

    His friend's wives made a 2 sec (no joke) judgement and decided that they did not want to take the time since I wasn't going to stick around. When we broke up the first time one of these "ladies" said "i didn't ing like her anyways".. he did not stand up to me. The other girl told my ex that I slapped her husband on the . That husband told my ex that I called and hung up on his secretary... someone that he says he barely knows but she still feels comfortable enough to call him. This friend sent a picture of him and the "get out of my head" girl from when they were on vacation. Out of the 100's of pictures why did he send that one. My ex kept it after he told me that he erased it. I snooped on his hotmail account. I know, not right, but for some reason I knew he did not erase it and he did not. My ex serves a purpose to his friends. He is the "go to" guy to have fun...

    I loved making my ex happy and loved making him feel loved. I would make him meals to take to work with him, I would massage his back when sore, I would tickle his back when he couldn't get to sleep, I truly enjoyed making him happy. I was so excited to have him come home and he looked pretty excited to. He seriously looked happy and told me that I was the love of his life and I was the best thing that has ever happened to him

    I held on so tightly to him that I became someone that I am not. I became jealous (something that I am not) Insecure (something that was new to me) and anxious to the 10th degree. I lost 20lbs when he moved out of town, I was stressed out. I tried t have a conversation about this long-distance thing. I would have moved to that city until his contract was done. It was not talked about he pushed it out of his head.

    We broke it off a week before christmas, he did not put up a fight. He is seeing a therapist to help him figure out why he acts the way he does towards me, as he has not acted like this towards any other people. He wants to talk things through when I get back from my work vacation (doing surgery on kids that would otherwise not get the opportunity)

    I am successful at my job and am a very happy person. Very rarely do I have a frown on my face. I have many friends and family members. I truly love my life. I race, workout, and am independent. I have my own life outside of him but love including him in that life. My ex likes to keep his work life away from me. I feel sad that I feel like I force myself in his life (nothing healthy about that statement. It shouldn't be this hard. Should it?

    What am I doing answering his calls and texts? Why is he still contacting me? Do you think that he is seeing a therapist? He says things that he knows I want to hear. He has paid A lot of lip service. I just wanted him to love me as much as I loved him. Help me get over this guy
    Bassdrop's Avatar
    Bassdrop Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jan 2, 2008, 11:36 PM
    He sounds like a in so many ways... I think you made the right decision to kick him out of your life, stop answering his calls and texts though, it's only making it more difficult for you to move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 2, 2008, 11:52 PM
    A good dose of NO CONTACT whatsoever, is highly recommended for you. I also highly recommend you read the links in my signature, for insights and solutions.
    crispy_chick's Avatar
    crispy_chick Posts: 77, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jan 3, 2008, 12:58 AM
    Honnestly it don't sound to me that he's that into you... sorry...
    DMBacoustic's Avatar
    DMBacoustic Posts: 65, Reputation: 15
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    #5

    Jan 3, 2008, 07:52 AM
    I love how someone can tell you "you're the best thing to happen to me" and then kick you to the curb. That is aka for you're a really nice person, just too nice for me. You're not alone in your situation, sooner or later you just have to wake up and realize do you love the person, or the thought of being in love or in a relationship. It took me a while to realize that, and after that things have been a lot easier.
    Jay_Tee's Avatar
    Jay_Tee Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 3, 2008, 09:17 AM
    I think he does still love you deep inside but frustrated in general and taking it out on you.

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