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    Samantha217's Avatar
    Samantha217 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 2, 2008, 07:46 PM
    bad past=boyfriend witholding sex
    My boyfriend and I have been together just under a year and we both have pasts that are less than great. He spent seven years in strip clubs almost every weekend and has had sex with 4 other women. I have had sex with 7 men and made some really bad mistakes earlier in life. Basically I had a few one nighters. We have been in a very sexual relationship and now that he has found out about my past he is telling me that he doesn't want me to touch him anymore. He plans on with holding sex, Sex is not the reason why I am with him, I am with him because I love him more than anything, but withholding sex is bothering me. I don't know how to get him to see that I am no longer that person anymore and I only want him. I also don't know how to get him to stop withholding sex.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #2

    Jan 2, 2008, 08:02 PM
    WHY is he going to withhold sex? Because you had sex with more people than he did? That's pretty stupid.

    You're probably going to have to see a couples' counselor to get past this---because he's being a jerk about something you can't change.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jan 2, 2008, 08:11 PM
    So you were to forgive his past sex, but he won't forgive yours?

    How long is he going to not have sex. ** of course waiting till marriage is never a bad thing.

    Where you having sex and he just stopped ?

    Past is just that past. And really needs not be duscussed in much detail.
    If he is going to be childish, he will either need to go for counseling or perhaps he is not the one for you.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #4

    Jan 3, 2008, 06:11 AM
    I used to have a husband who withheld sex. He was "nervous" around me because I'd had more partners. That man still needs psychological help. There is nothing wrong with you. Waiting until you're married could be a bad idea because his prudish (is that the word?) behavior could simply continue into marriage.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #5

    Jan 3, 2008, 03:20 PM
    You are young... move on. I don't think this situation is salvageable.

    I guess you see how important it is to keep your sexual partner history to yourself, and don't ask any future partners about their sexual partner history (apart from any disease a person might have!) As far as anyone knows, you had one previous sexual partner.

    There are a lot of things to talk about with a boyfriend... don't talk about your past partners or anything sleazy.

    Chalk this up to live and learn.

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