[engagedandunderage]

In December of next year I will be turning 18. In August it will be mine and my boyfriends 2 year anniversary. After a long discussion between the two of us we have decided to be married that December. I am nervous about it but after a long time of thinking, I feel that I am ready and mature enough for this decision. The question I am asking is for anyone who has gotten married at 18 and the outcome, whether good or bad..

I do not want judgment of any kind I am simply asking the point of view from someone who is experienced in this subject.

[Fr_Chuck]

Married and divorced under 2 years

[mjl]

I didn't get married at 18, but I did get engaged at 18. We got married when we were 20, we are 21 now.

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting married young as long as you are mature enough for it, and you know what you are getting into. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it is a lot of work.

I suggest you take marriage couselling before you get married. Me and my husband did. It opened our eyes to things we never thought about before, and got us discussing things we never talked about before. It made us much more prepared.

If you really want this there is many things you have to think about, and at your age, I'm sure you haven't yet. Education, finances, children, buying a home... What if you and him decided to go to completely different colleges on different sides of the country? What if your goals and his goal changes in a few years and they don't quite match up?

Because I got married young there is a few things I had to work out that I wouldn't have had to deal with if I got married older, but for me the positives out weighed the negative.

I don't regret getting married. I definitely don't regret getting married at the age I did. Get married when you feel the time is right, but really listen to your heart. Don't feel pressured just because he wants you to. Do what YOU feel is right.

[hollylovesbrandon]

When I graduated high school... I had 3 friends get married within three weeks of each other... during the summer after our senior year... that was in '04. They are all divorced now. I have another friend that is 21 and has been married and divorced twice. They all thought they were mature enough but it didn't work out. I'm not saying it didn't work out because they lacked maturity, but I am saying that I don't think they though about how tough it was going to be. Just don't let all the gaga googly excitement of planning a wedding and buying a house and stuff get in the way of your good judgement. I think you should take counseling first. Marriage, even though some people might not think so, is a HUGE step and shouldn't be taken lightly. I promise I am not trying to discourage you. I just though you might profit from my advice.

Adversely, I have been with my husband for 5 years... been married for just over a year and I'm 21. Things seem to be going along quite nicely actually. But honestly, we were both extremely mature and knew where we wanted to go in life.

Good luck!

[donf]

On the lasting side,

We married my lady on July 10, 1965. This year, we will be married for 42 years. I honestly still cannot believe my good fortune in being chosen by my lady, but I do thank God every day for the lady's hand in marriage.

[beckyleigh]

Hello there! I know the exact position you are in lady! My boyfriend (at the time) and I decided when I was a sophomore and he was a senior that we would get married right after I graduated high school. But Ooops! I got pg, when I was a senior, so we got married in February of my senior year (to take advantage of his medical insurance for the birth, etc.) While this sped the things up, we still were excited. Anyway, let's speed up almost 9 years later (of course this Feb.) and yes, we are still together. Is this what we thought it would be like? Of course not... it isn't some fairy tale story... it takes so much more than patience, etc. for a marriage to work. Have we had doubts? I can fairly say yes to this question... and I think we only doubted because one, we have never really even dated anyone else (started dating when I was 14, he was 16) and two, well we never got to just be married with out no children. Would I change it? Sometimes the answer is yes, I know that sounds bad, but in all truthfulness, yes. And then there are times where I know this is where we are supposed to be... and I am grateful I didn't have to kiss too many frogs to find my prince charming! :)

Maturity of course makes an impact on a relationship, but you must remember that it takes work. There will be those days where you look at him and say, What? I got into this? Just remember, that when all the lovesickness wears off... it is then where you greatest joys and memories will come from, the tedious routines of just living. This is where also you will think that there isn't any love anymore... but your just in a different stage of love right now.

I do hope you have a great life... I still am and we've been together for 12 years now at ages 27 and 29!

[ISneezeFunny]

Oof. I am 21. So far, I've been to 4 weddings (high school friends)

I talked to one of my very good friends after the wedding. At this moment, he is 22... has been married for 1 year. He says that he loves his wife, but has doubts about the wedding.

In high school, we talked about going to chile and snowboarding down widow's peak... going to spain and celebrating carnival, but now that he's married... he can't. He has to work, as well as his wife, while all of his friends are going to med school + law schools. Don't get me wrong... their relationship is solid and they love one another very much... but at the ages of 18 - 20... the overwhelming feeling of love may blind the idea of a future.

My $0.02

[ScottGem]

I do not want judgment of any kind I am simply asking the point of view from someone who is experienced in this subject.

Excuse me but that IS a judgement. As you can see you got some positive viewpoints and some negative viewpoints. I would say, you have a 40-60% chance of making it.

My belief is that no matter how much you think you are mature enough or ready, at 18 you aren't really in a position to judge. You don't have the experience (which is, of course, why you posted).

I wonder whether you have thought about what you will be giving up. Are you or your boyfriend going to college? How are you going ti support yourselves? What happens if you get pregnant? There are MANY other factors that need to be taken into account.

Do you have a clergyman you can discuss this with? Someone who knows both of you and can advise?

[ISneezeFunny]

I would say, you have a 40-60% chance of making it.

Well, technically, a marriage currently has about 40 - 60% chance of making it... so, being 18, I'd say... far less. Sorry... those are the stats.

[Emland]

My husband was 18 - I was the older woman 19 when we married. We will celebrate our 22nd anniversary this June. I love my husband and we have 2 great kids, but I would recommend waiting a little longer before marriage. Enjoy your youth. We spent ours working overtime and 2 jobs (me) and he was a young sailor in the US Navy (meaning out to sea on a regular basis.)

Get your education and figure out what you want to do with your life. You have plenty of time to get married. Like a previous poster said, make sure you agree on things like religion any children will be raised in, your home, whether you both will work, etc. Your only young once!

[mustang83]

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 18 we're both about to have birthdays, not really relvant but we have known each other since we were 15 and have been together for shy of a year and have lived together for 9 months, we have talked about getting married for months now and he just actually came out and ask me to marry him. We were going to wait till we were out of college so what were doing is going o get married in a courthouse for now and once we grad. We'll have the official wedding with our familys and everything in four years. Also my parents got married when they were 17-18 and just celbrated their 30th ann. So let me know how it goes, what are your plans are you having a traditional cermony?

[chella169]

My husband and I have known of each other since I was a freshmen (2000) in hs we both graduated in 03 after graduation we didn't speak until mar 04, began dating in may 04 and married October 31 2004. We have been married for 3 1/2 yrs and may 14 will be our 4 year anniversay... its been great these years we've been together. We are happily married with 2 kids