[oneguyinohio]

Just wondering if anyone considers a Dear John letter written on paper to end a relationship any different than sending an email or text message to end the relationship?

Is one better than another or are they all the same?

I have never sent or received any of them.

[Wondergirl]

Years ago when I was in college, I sent a Dear John letter to a guy back home. It was the worst thing I could have done and avoided the conversation we should have had in person that might have changed the whole history of my life--and his too.

A Dear John letter on paper, via email, and even over the phone is a cowardly way to do it. There's no closure on the relationship. Both are left hanging and with regrets.

[oneguyinohio]

Agreed, I remember in the days before the internet, I heard a lot about Dear John letters. Now I am hearing about the electronic types of the same intentions.

[Wondergirl]

And yes, like you said in the other thread, she knew she was going to split from him long before she did the Dear John thing (just as I knew too, months before I sent it).

[George_1950]

They are both cowardly. The problem with texts and emails is they tend to be so short; the letter may be well-thought, detailed, and sensitive. Both were gut-wrenching for me, the letter years ago and a recent text message.

[talaniman]

Letters or internet, is the easy way out. Face to face is the honorable, respectful way to end a relationship, and to see and feel the pain together.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well I rate it up with being fired by email. Some things should be done in person, or at least over the phone

[jackie100]

I would agree that it is more appropriate to do it face to face but there are certainly some circumstances were the only option is through the internet or on paper. Take for instance an online relationship, the only way to sever ties, I imagine is through the same medium, by phone or by letter.

[life1973happened]

I agree with everybody. I do not care how far technology has come. If somebody has been dating another and wants to break it off, needs to be done face to face. If distance is the issue and it cannot wait at all, then over the phone I guess would work. However, it should be followed up face to face to give closure of some kind to the other party.

We have to remember we are all human beings built the same. We feel pain the same way. We also all deserve respect from one another. If you respected them enough to begin a relationship, you have to respect them enough when you end it.

[friend4u178]

I personally think it is cowardly.

The only time I think it would be acceptable is if the Dumper fears possible violence at the decision.

[oneguyinohio]

Very good comments, providing a lot of thoughtful insights. I guess if an internet relationship never got to the actual point of people meeting, then that would be about the only way to end it... short of just vanishing.