Check out some similar questions!

Ash123 · Dec 28, 2007, 07:25 AM

Here is a quick guide for those questioning what they have in their relationship and whether to go on or walk away:

1. Can you be yourself with this person?
2. Do you trust them?
3. Do you think they have your back at all times?
4. Do you respect them?
5. Do they respect you?
6. If you were not sleeping together would they still have the character to be considered a best friend?
7. Do they make your life more productive?
8. Do disagreements get settled with a respectful conversation?
9. Do you like them enough to want to show them off to your parents and best friend anytime?
10. Could you go on like things are now with this person... forever?

And two more for those thinking of the long-term:

11. Do you give unconditionally (spritually as well as physically) to them?
12. Do they give unconditionally (spritually as well as physically) to you?

If you can say yes to at least 11 of these consider yourself lucky. If not, consider why you are hanging in there and if that reason is enough...

Note: Notice there is no mention of the word "love' in this list. Love is tough to judge in the heat of hurt or confusion or passion. Though, it is important to have in the end.

EuRa · Dec 28, 2007, 09:08 AM

Did you make this? Or was it pulled from somewhere?

Ash123 · Dec 28, 2007, 10:08 AM

Penned by yours truly - based on hundreds of post readings and answers...

aiyerrc · Dec 28, 2007, 11:40 AM

Those aren't bad, but I'm sure there are a few better ones out there... of course I have no idea what they could be

Ash123 · Dec 28, 2007, 02:03 PM

Trust is key.

So is respect.

I see it time and time again: missing those ingredients can cut anyone down.

s_cianci · Dec 30, 2007, 02:07 AM

Good one.

friend4u178 · Dec 30, 2007, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by Ash123

Trust is key.

I agree with Ash , TRUST is the key!!

talaniman · Dec 30, 2007, 10:55 AM

Trust, communication, loyalty. Not always in that order.

Jiser · Dec 30, 2007, 02:22 PM

Thinking to my last ex I would probably say no to all of them! Good riddance.

jpm247 · Feb 11, 2008, 02:48 PM

That list does tempt me to send it to my ex, to see if she realises what we had together. I reckon it make her see things a bit differently.

Tough when the other person is really confused though!

HistorianChick · Feb 11, 2008, 03:14 PM

Feel free to add...

"A relationship without trust is simply two people co-existing in the same space. You cannot have a relationship without trust. For without trust, you have no future."

friend4u178 · Feb 11, 2008, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

Feel free to add...

"A relationship without trust is simply two people co-existing in the same space. You cannot have a relationship without trust. For without trust, you have no future."

Had to spread the Rep HC , but love it!

Ash123 · Feb 11, 2008, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by Jiser

Thinking to my last ex I would probably say no to all of them! Good riddance.

Funny! true=funny :D

psychedelix · Feb 12, 2008, 10:02 PM

It basically tones down to the basic four (not in order) elements:

- trust
- faith
- love
- honesty

Once one is removed from the equation, the result starts to dramatically change for the worse. Double that if it is two, so forth you get the idea until the foundation has been eaten away at. A relationship is just like a foundation, you need to work on it, build it, and take care of it. Once the foundation is intact and secure, strong too, you can start building ON top of the foundation and go from there.

Remember, trust is very crucial, you can spend years and years working on building trust, then boom in a millisecond it is gone even by a wrong piece of information or by a major mistake. Tend to the relationship lovingly yet be firm.

Ash123 · Feb 12, 2008, 10:15 PM

Nobody's perfect.

Good relationships can handle this fact on a day to day basis - provided it's nothing too dire...

Bad ones are hurt by it.
Why? I think a lack of mutual respect.

yeye82 · Feb 12, 2008, 10:42 PM

NO to all. Definitely it's time for me to let go and move on...

imation · Feb 13, 2008, 02:37 AM

Haha wow, I could have used this list with my ex. I read it and ticked off 2 points! Haha man I'm glad that's over, cheers to NC

starlite1 · May 28, 2008, 07:04 AM

Another great post! Thank you Ash123! I wish I could trust him (not that he had cheated). He would come into my life, then leave, then come back then leave... This third time, he came back after a year and a half, he wanted me to move to the state that he recently moved to, to get married, have kids, etc... I was all ready to, but I stopped dead in my tracks, (after 6 months) and said no, out of the blue, I said no (and throughout this 6 months, I was saying yes, I even packed up my stuff)... It killed me, because I really loved this man so much, but I don't trust that he changed (in that fact that maybe he would have left the relationship again)...
I hope I made the right decision...

chopaface · Aug 2, 2008, 09:01 PM

1. Can you be yourself with this person?
Yes

2. Do you trust them?
Sure thing, why not?

3. Do you think they have your back at all times?
If you mean ninja-wise, then we're all in it.

4. Do you respect them?
Yes

5. Do they respect you?
Yep

6. If you were not sleeping together would they still have the character to be considered a best friend?
We acted like good friends before dating, so I guess that's a yes!

7. Do they make your life more productive?
It makes my life productive, being with him and having a life too.

8. Do disagreements get settled with a respectful conversation?
We never argue, instead we have philosophical debates.

9. Do you like them enough to want to show them off to your parents and best friend anytime?
Already have, everyone knows now... >///<;;

10. Could you go on like things are now with this person... forever?
No problem!

And two more for those thinking of the long-term:

11. Do you give unconditionally (spritually as well as physically) to them?
Already have...
12. Do they give unconditionally (spritually as well as physically) to you?
Not sure.

You guys are missing one question!
Are you guys not being cheap with each other regardless of financial issues? (ie. Willing to spend a bit more on her/his birthday gift)

I wish my partner wasn't a cheap stake or a moocher. Maybe if he actually invests something for me instead of buying stuff for himself, and then says, "oh I don't have enough to go out to a restaurant with you"... OH I WONDER WHY... ¬¬ ''' but everything else is nice... which is why sometimes I can forgive him... but I get ticked easily...

So I'm not sure about this! >:\

Ash123 · Aug 3, 2008, 10:27 AM

Hey chopaface,

I'd say give unconditonally is in the category of giving and being cheap... if he is saving for himself so much it seems you are not #1 then it is a problem, but he may just not be a big present guy - that is hardly a relationship killer.