[Roslynrain101]

[F]:confused: My husband and I have been together for 7 years and will be married for four of those years in April. My husband is the "black sheep" of the family---although he is truly far from it. He went to college---he just didnt graduate with the History degree he was going for. He has his AA...and landed the best job he has ever had in his life about two and a half years ago. I am a stay at home mother of 4 children and I think we do fairly well. [Even though sometimes I think life sucks!] For as long as my husband and I have been together I have had this GUT feeling that my husbands family puts on fake smiles and disapproves of me being in my husbands life. My biggest issue is with his sister---whom in the 7 years we have been together has made absolutely NO effort to befriend me, get to know me, talk to me over email, phone or letter. I have made a lot of effort. I have sent emails stating that we will be in her area---would they like to get together. [I sent two of these emails] and I didnt get a single response---nothing!!! I have sent emails to say hi and ask how she is doing...if I get a response at all its a one sentence bs response. I have told my husband over and over again how I feel and he just cracks it up to be his selfish sister who only cares about herself and that its not me. The thing is---I dont believe that. I see and watch the way she is with other people---our other sister in-law to be included. I see how she acts with her OTHER nieces and then I know how she has acted towards my children and me. I keep telling my husband that I really dont feel she approves of me and that she doesnt like me. His parents, his brother and sister in law, and his sister and brother in law and their three kids in total always go on trips together...they always blog pictures of these trips and how "great" their family is. But we are NEVER invited...not ever! We are never even told about these trips before or after---the only way I know is because his sister is a huge blogger. My question to all of you is---how would you handle this situation? Do you think my feelings are warranted? Should I tell them how I feel or move on as though they were never a part of my life to begin with? I thought so happily when I married my husband that I would have this "picture perfect" relationship with my sister and brother in law...I already have a not so perfect relationship with my own family---(I was raised an only child.) So I am just extremely bothered and saddened that no one gives a rats about me or my kids.

[simoneaugie]

Oh, I hear you. My brother in law "hates" me. My husband denied it for several years until his brother threatened my life. I took one, you see. I separated them. Now the brother (who hates me) has no one to play with.

You feel left out. You are left out. That isn't necessarily bad though. Would you really want to be considered part of their exclusive group? You and your husband are great friends. Make some new ones that accept both of you. Please don't read her blogs and wallow. You sound like a wonderful person. Their treatment of you is a reflection on them, not you.

[cerisa]

Don't even bother yourself with someone who doesn't return your messages. Your only concern is with your husband and children. If you are happy at home, that is priceless.
Your children will not miss her, she is obviously not important in their lives.
Her brother, your husband apparently does not miss her. Go, be happy, you are important to the people important to you.

[Roslynrain101]

Thank you to those of you whom have responded to my question. I appreciate any feedback. :)

[Synnen]

When my husband and I were separated by a thousand miles from our families (and therefore left out of everything, whether intentionally or not) we made our OWN family--one of friends we chose.

We shared holidays with our new family, and gave then all the loyalty you hear about in picture-perfect families.

Some of them were other "outcasts" like we were--some just preferred our company, some made time for us while still staying in contact with their own families.

When we approached people with our idea, people we hung out with, but weren't THAT close to--some were so happy we asked, they almost cried. Some mocked the idea (our invitation to join was withdrawn, obviously, from these people).

In all, we ended up with 5 couples, and the 4 kids between them.

Make your OWN family. Make it with people you WANT to hang out with, not people you HAVE to spend time with. Make it a committment--that means help with moving, babysitting, vacations sometimes, holidays, garage sales, helping re-roof someone's house--all those things you're usually only obligated to do for family. We're MUCH happier without the politics of having to hang out with the people we were biologically related to.

[Roslynrain101]

Thank you Synnen for your advice to my question. It took reading your post to make myself realize that I have made a family of my own through friends whom have been there for us through thick and thin in ways our own "blood" never has been. I guess I just have a tenancy to look at all the negative in my life and take forgranted the good that I have in my life. That and I tend to idolize my friends blood relatives because they are so much more down to earth than my husbands family. I guess I just need to remember what I do have rather than what I dont---sometimes it's just a bit hard because I just thought things would be different than they are. Thanks again...

[N0help4u]

I wouldn't even bother with them at all other than to be there with your husband when he visits. They sound uppity and that is THEIR problem not yours. You married your husband--not them. Make your life with him and forget how they want to be toward you. If they never come around it is their lose. Their emphasis is on closed minded biased prejudices, status and material concepts NOT on the things that really count in life. Leave them to their shallow life and your building a family with your husband will in the end have more blessed memories and meaning than concerning yourself with what they think.

[Roslynrain101]

To the last response---wow thanks... there was a lot said in there that means a lot to me---thank you for your words! :)