[KBC]

I finally reached the turning point this winter(past few days) where sleep is a constant friend,darkness, a closed door and blinds down.

My phone is always on silent so I don't hear the ringer and feel obligated to answer.

I know the what's,how's,wheres,whens,, now to put something in motion,like me,is almost impossible.PATHETIC

I shake with suppressed emotions,then contain them till I am tired.This is a 25+ year thing for me,It sucks.

My question isn't the what's,how's,and why... etc or for advice like"go look for rainbows" when there is only dreary days ahead.I am asking for the people like me, HOW do you deal with seasonal depression(methods,and tried/true experiences which helped you further yourself while not trying to be in so much isolation.)

Please be specific.

KBC

[indianacavebat]

My battle with depression has not been as long as yours. I know how hard it is. No one seems to understand, which makes it feel much worse. Many people say "Just snap out of it" or "Just keep your head up"... etc. It is very hard and remarks like that only make things worse. I have been going through depression for several years now and have been unable to deal with it due to lack of money/medical insurance. It cost me my job because I got so stressed out and just up and quit. I understand how it feels to be really down and low... it's very hard for me to get out of bed and try to accomplish anything... like look for a job or even to just feed myself sometimes. Even though I am at one of the lowest points I have ever been, I know that I still have to try. Sometimes that is all it takes for me to feel just a tiny bit better. Not accomplishing anything only makes me feel worse. If I have something I have been meaning to do for a while, I finally just kick myself and do it... and I feel much better. The key, I think, is just trying to do one thing at a time. Find something productive or satisfying that you can bring yourself to do. If you can accomplish one thing, then that is one less hurdle in front of you, which seems to be somewhat relieving. The more you accomplish, no matter how small, the better you feel. That is what I try to do. Have you been able to make it to see someone regarding your depression?

[Choux]

HI K,

I have suffered from severe depression for 58 years, taking medication for about the last twenty years or so.

There is only one thing that helped me get out of a downward spiral, and that was getting plenty of exercise. Exercise is the most important thing a person with depression can do to help his/her mood. I recently read an article that stated what I learned over my life... exercise is more effective than any other kind of treatment(medication, talk therapy, light therapy, etc)to improve the life of a depressive.

There are so many ways to get exercise... by yourself(speed walking is excellent), while helping others(snow shoveling, for example), working hard on a project(cleaning an entire garage, or whatever)... the body produces natural chemicals(endorphins(sp?)) that cause pain relief and mood elevation and whatever during hard exercise which lasts over time. After completing a job well done, one feels a great sense of accomplishment.

Hopefully, you are not too out of shape so you can start first thing in the morning. You can start building up your stamina to walk five miles in an hour. So, do say three miles first thing in the morning, and then let me know how it went.

Results guaranteed. The old cliché is true, one just has to take the first step and all the others follow. :)

Best wishes to you

[simoneaugie]

Hi,
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Situationally everything's great. But I'm as much as a mess as you seem to be. About 17 years ago, I tried an SSRI. It was like a miracle, I was “normal.” It has stopped working the past few years even though the dose has been tripled. I also suffer from MS which can also cause depression. Exercise only makes me more tired and depressed these days. To get into an exercise routine, I'd probably need someone to route me out of bed and monitor my activity so I don't over-do it. Over-doing it is something I've had to unlearn as the MS has progressed.

I was lying there in the dark, in the middle of the day, with the shades pulled, my body unwashed and unfed and the phone unplugged when I realized that I was in serious trouble once again. So, I went on-line and started searching for something, anything, that would help. The answer I found, that has been helping is Salvia Divinorum (legal in most countries). It's an herb found growing wild in Mexico. A form of sage, it is made into tea or smoked by shamans in that region. It is touted to help with MS depression as well as other forms of depression. It may help yours too. I use a tincture (moderate-high dose) once or twice a month. (Daniel Siebert, on-line)

The lack of light which is currently torturing us will begin to dissipate in only 5 days, on the Solstice. After that I know that we will begin to feel better.

Simone

[Bluerose]

KBC,

I too have suffered from depression on and off all my life the result of an abusive childhood. And I find it is particularly bad in the winter. I was on medication when I was younger but I refuse it now because my life just seemed to be slipping away in a haze. I wanted to spend what time I had left enjoying my children and my grandchildren. I agree with the others above, exercise is good but I'm more into relaxation and meditation these days. Planning and eating healthy, high protein meals helps as does cutting right down on stimulating drinks like coffee and soda drinks. I have read many books on this and have picked up some tips. There are light bulbs you can buy that simulate daylight but I simply change all my light bulbs in the winter for 100 watt light bulbs, hang the electric bill. I used to close the curtains and lock the door and will everyone to just stay away. But I discovered that doing the very opposite to everything I felt like doing worked much better. The curtains are thrown wide, the door has a nice Christmas wreath on it and I plan my day so that I can have some company or get out for an hour or two without becoming overwhelmed. I seriously found taking charge of my day instead of letting it take charge of me helped a great deal. :)

[KBC]

My battle with depression has not been as long as yours. I know how hard it is. No one seems to understand, which makes it feel much worse. Many people say "Just snap out of it" or "Just keep your head up"...etc. It is very hard and remarks like that only make things worse. I have been going through depression for several years now and have been unable to deal with it due to lack of money/medical insurance. It cost me my job because I got so stressed out and just up and quit. I understand how it feels to be really down and low...it's very hard for me to get out of bed and try to accomplish anything...like look for a job or even to just feed myself sometimes. Even though I am at one of the lowest points I have ever been, I know that I still have to try. Sometimes that is all it takes for me to feel just a tiny bit better. Not accomplishing anything only makes me feel worse. If I have something I have been meaning to do for a while, I finally just kick myself and do it...and I feel much better. The key, I think, is just trying to do one thing at a time. Find something productive or satisfying that you can bring yourself to do. If you can accomplish one thing, then that is one less hurdle in front of you, which seems to be somewhat relieving. The more you accomplish, no matter how small, the better you feel. That is what I try to do. Have you been able to make it to see someone regarding your depression?

Oh yes, I have been under treatments and medications for many years now,with the same results,seasonal depression:(

This thread is for those of us who would like to get beyond the winter doldrums and move forward,I am one of those who would rather move than stand(or sleep) still.

Ken

[Clough]

I'm going to join the crowd here since I have suffered from depression for a long time. Been on and off meds for a number of years. Got better to the point that I could be off the meds. Now, I think that it's time to get back on some kind of med.

Right now and for the past two weeks, I have been in the midst of the Seasonal Affective Disorder. It's been really bad! Just within the last 24 hours, I slept for about 18. I still feel tired. I feel like I could sleep forever! I don't want to get out of bed. It is an incredible struggle for me!

What's helping with this a little bit, is that I do have a very strong support group of friends. But, I do think that I need to get some medication again. Another thing that doesn't help, is the cloudy weather. And, if you know what it's like in the upper Midwest U.S. you know what I mean with that!

I will be back here to absorb what has been written and to help to support each other.

Thanks for starting this thread, Ken! :)

[Bluerose]

You might find this interesting. :)

"It turns out that human beings are also influenced by the light. Light determines our sleep/wake cycle. In most animals and humans, the desire to sleep is brought on by secretion of a hormone called melatonin. Melatonin is produced in a tiny gland known as the pineal gland. In the evening the pineal gland reacts to the diminishing levels of daylight and starts to produce melatonin, which is then released into the blood and flows through the body making us drowsy. Its secretion peaks in the middle of the night during our heaviest hours of sleep. In the morning, bright light shining through the eye reaches the pineal gland which reacts by switching off the production of melatonin, thus removing the desire to sleep."

More.............

Light Therapy, Bright Light Therapy, How Does Light Affect Human Functions, Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD, sleep/wake cycle, pineal gland, melatonin, hormonal balance.

[indianacavebat]

It's very interesting to hear others' stories and ways of coping with depression. I am not fond of anti-depressants because I don't think any form of mental illness should be simply treated with drugs. I have tried many anti-depressants and every single one of them made me feel jittery and nervous and very very nauseated! It seems to be that the best thing that you can do for yourself is force yourself not to just slide down into the pit. I like the comment of throwing the curtains wide open... sometimes the smallest of things really seem to be helpful. It's funny that it's well known that exercise is good for the body, but who would have ever heard it's good for the mind too! In my attempt to offer some advice, I have myself found some helpful advice from others. Thanks you all for the great tips!

[N0help4u]

Last year I only left the house when I HAD to which amounted to 3 trips a month to the grocery store.

What I do is listen to music from morning to evening. Christmas music in December

Drink Hershey's hot cocoa --recipe on the back of the box. (not instant)

Make some homemade soup or chili

Burn candles

Work on projects, like going through boxes of accumulated junk and make art & craft things, that I put off during working summer months

Soak in a hot bath

So far this winter I haven't had my usual S.A.D. because I have been taking vitamin D3,
B complex, amino acid complex, alpha lipoic acid and omega fatty acid.


Oh and also I dream of how SOME winter I am going to move to a warm climate, but every fall something happens to prevent it. :(

[Emm Lura]

Ken, I'm sorry I haven't read this post sooner. What kind of friend am I? You are always there to cheer me on and offer me you support and I'm just taking it and giving you nothing back. I'm very very sorry.

I just want to say that I wish there was something I could do to cheer you up. I can't make silly faces or jump out of your closet dressed as a man dressed like a woman. But I can tell you some jokes.

How about this one...

"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.

"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."

Ha ha got to love a good lawyer joke!

Or how about this?

Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.


I bet you thought I was too young to know that one huh?

I'm really not very funny at all and I actually just copy and pasted these from some website but hey, I bet I made you smile!

I hope so because you always make me smile and I wanted to return the favor.

If you get sad just send me a message, or you could get a kick out of my goofy pictures on myspace.

My url is MySpace.com - Emm Lura© - 20 - Female - Greenville, Ohio - www.myspace.com/emlura

Have fun with that pal ha ha. I make myself look like a total jack@$$ on there. It's funny.

Your friend and partner in crime,

Emily

[jasmine_rezzag]

I never have seasonal depression! I don't know what to say! But I do have low times,but I know I have to do a job if not there is no one pay for my living! And I like to make myself happy everyday,only with happy mood then I can feel life is funny! Nothing is a big deal as long as you try!

[Clough]

I never have seasonal depression! i don't know what to say! but i do have low times,but i know i have to do a job if not there is no one pay for my living! and i like to make myself happy everyday,only with happy mood then i can feel life is funny! nothing is a big deal as long as you try!

It is hard to know how someone feels unless you have been in the same situation. When someone is clinically depressed, it can be hard even to try. I know what KBC is going through right now, because I am going through the same thing. This seasonal depression when added to the depression that someone already has, can really be a big deal!

[simoneaugie]

I had forgotten about the melatonin connection, until someone mentioned it. And thanks for reminding me about vitamins and amino acids. Somehow all the information gets sucked into the fog of winter. I know that it is common for those on antidepressant medication to stop taking it too.

I wanted to ask if it's just me, or does anyone else feel more comfortable being awake at night when most people are sleeping. When the sun comes up, especially if it's sunny with no clouds, I get really sleepy. When the sun goes down I feel energized and want to do things. Maybe I'm just being human and wanting what I am not supposed to have?

[Emm Lura]

It is hard to know how someone feels unless you have been in the same situation. When someone is clinically depressed, it can be hard even to try. I know what KBC is going through right now, because I am going through the same thing. This seasonal depression when added to the depression that someone already has, can really be a big deal!

Awe Clough I do know what depression is like and I know what bipolar is like and unfortunately our friend here suffers from both. I feel for you sweetheart and if you ever need to talk and just vent to anyone I'll be here. People think that I don't know much because of my age but ask Kenny-Ken and he'll tell you! I just love people and I'd love to help you if you just want to talk. I'm a great listener. Well er... reader... ha ha

Keep me posted hun.

A friend to all,

Emm

[Emm Lura]

I had forgotten about the melatonin connection, until someone mentioned it. And thanks for reminding me about vitamins and amino acids. Somehow all the information gets sucked into the fog of winter. I know that it is common for those on antidepressant medication to stop taking it too.

I wanted to ask if it's just me, or does anyone else feel more comfortable being awake at night when most people are sleeping. When the sun comes up, especially if it's sunny with no clouds, I get really sleepy. When the sun goes down I feel energized and want to do things. Maybe I'm just being human and wanting what I am not supposed to have?

Hello there! I think you hit the nail right on the head when you said you might just be human wanting what you can't have. I was in a dark hole of depression a couple of days ago which I barely made it out alive. I wanted death to come via a couple of handfuls of some anxiety medicine and in the back of my mind I think I knew that I couldn't have that luxury. I think that post got deleted. Thank God! I was embarrassed about my actions and trying to take the easy way out.

Anyway to answer your question I love being awake at night. And I really think it's natural. The air is cooler at night and when you are chilly it's instinct to move around right?

I don't know. Maybe I'm just dumb and I'm just talking out of my butt. Actually that's probably the case. I'm no good at this. I just love to try...

Thanks buddies!

[Clough]

I had forgotten about the melatonin connection, until someone mentioned it. And thanks for reminding me about vitamins and amino acids. Somehow all the information gets sucked into the fog of winter. I know that it is common for those on antidepressant medication to stop taking it too.

I wanted to ask if it's just me, or does anyone else feel more comfortable being awake at night when most people are sleeping. When the sun comes up, especially if it's sunny with no clouds, I get really sleepy. When the sun goes down I feel energized and want to do things. Maybe I'm just being human and wanting what I am not supposed to have?

For me, I tend to be a night person. But, when I do get enough sleep during the night, my brain functions great in the morning! I feel sleepy now, most of the time, day or night. Doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get.

I will get sleepy when there is too much sunlight, at least in my opinion, especially when I am doing something like driving for a long distance.

[KBC]

For me, I tend to be a night person. But, when I do get enough sleep during the night, my brain functions great in the morning! I feel sleepy now, most of the time, day or night. Doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get.

I will get sleepy when there is too much sunlight, at least in my opinion, especially when I am doing something like driving for a long distance.

Is this self abusive behavior? Is this how we get worse with our seasonal depression?

I do EXACTLY the same as you do, sleep during the light hours as much as possible, I am exposed during these hours, at night I can be hidden from all those prying eyes(self abusive and paranoia? )and do what I do best, think,think,think!

In other words, AM I SETTING MYSELF UP?

Do I do this for some purpose other than depression:confused: ,Or,is this because of depression,serving depression for depressions needs?(see! Think think think... )Anger starts about right here in my thought processes, and anger turned inward is?. DEPRESSION!

Self loathing is something I am more than intimate with,depression a close 2nd,and mania a close 3rd,empathy for those of us posting in here is my therapy,when I feel worthy of giving.Right now I am a taker.

Thanks to all who have responded to this post,It really is something we have in common and I,for one, need to exercise this demon whenever I can.

Ken

[jasmine_rezzag]

When I was still a student, sleep 2 or 3 hours a day is quite enough for me, even did not sleep for two days,I still feel energied,and at that time, it was really difficult for me to fall asleep at night,I was always awake.BUT once I began to work, I always feel sleepy,and still can't fall asleep,I tried many ways to get a good rest,and I found listening music is quite useful for me! And sleepy is very important for a woman,so I always force myself to sleep!

[simoneaugie]

I have talked about Salvia Divinorum. I use it for depression. I haven't used it lately because, uh, it would probably help? Salvia means sage. The plant, sage has many sub-species.

So, knowing that some are concerned taking a drug, not recommended by a doctor, I thought I would share what my (sneaky) husband did to me. We have three different types of sage in our house. Maybe four if you count the one in the spice rack. My sister gave me some white sage that she grew in her garden. I also have a stick of it that I bought. I have my supply of Salvia Divinorum. Then I have some sage that a friend and I collected on a road trip. Im not sure what kind it is. It's whatever they burn at a Native American prayer circle I used to attend. I burn it sometimes, like when we first moved into our new house. We smudged, purified the house with it.

That's what he used. He lit it while I was sleeping. I woke up and began doing things around the house that I have neglected for weeks. A couple of days later, he lit the white sage to get me out of bed. Same effect. I laughed at him walking around the bedroom with it. I haven't laughed in a long time. Wow.

There was a website given above, about depression. Reading it reminded me that my diet is very poor. I need to take vitamins. So, I started doing that too. I'm way better. I hope this can help some sufferers out there.