[beth911]

Just got an e-mail from him. He said he's doing fine and making friends and that in a week or 2 his dad is taking him to the recruiter for the air force.

[Wondergirl]

Does that mean he will drop out of school?

[beth911]

I don't know. I need to get him to want to talk to me. I need to soon. Then maybe, just maybe I can keep him from going in the air force. If I could have him but he still joins that's still a million times better than this. I would still miss him but if I just knew that we were still going to be together, I would feel so much better. This girl at my school keeps wanting to call him and talk to him for me but I think he would get mad. She keeps telling me to try to look really nice and everything to make him jellous. He might just get mad though. I need to do something quick before it's too late. He's already becoming friends with other girls. My mom says that he's just doing it all to make me mad. It's so hard to get him to talk to me so I usually ignore him but I need him back ASAP!

[beth911]

If I'm not online, try to still tell me everything you can. I will be on later to read it, but tomorrows it. Then, I'm out of school for 2 weeks. Sometime in those 2 weeks, I am supposed to get my license and he is supposed to do what I was just talking about. He scored really high on the test. Like a 96%.

[Wondergirl]

You don't "need him back ASAP". That's what's messing up your head. You made him the reason for your happiness, for your very existence. He's not the reason. Until you figure this out, there's no hope for the two of you.

[beth911]

I just realized something a few minutes ago. Before I knew him, I was hanging out with people I THOUGHT were my friends. I was into drugs. I got really bad grades. Never even showed up at school. I was always trying to run away and I was always trying to hurt myself. Then I met him. He let me know that, if they were my friends, they wouldn't get me into dtugs, they would get me out of it. He would get mad at me for not doing my work or showing up at school. He didn't want me to get hurt or in trouble so I didn't. Now, without him, I'm starting to head right back where I was. And when I promise myself something, I KEEP IT. If I can't talk to him SOON, I WILL do what I have to. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE HERE. YOU Didn't"T HELP ME LIKE PLANNED. I WILL HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN. ITS THE ONLY WAY. And, IF it DOESN:T WORK....... GUESS WHAT???? I SURE WON"T COME HERE BECAUSE IT WON'T HELP ANY. I WILL JUST HAVE TO GO OFF TO A BETTER PLACE AND R.I.P.

[Clough]

I just relized something a few minutes ago. Before I knew him, I was hanging out with people I THOUGHT were my friends. I was into drugs. I got really bad grades. Never even showed up at school. I was always trying to run away and I was always trying to hurt myself. Then I met him. He let me know that, if they were my friends, they wouldn't get me into dtugs, they would get me out of it. He would get mad at me for not doing my work or showing up at school. He didn't want me to get hurt or in trouble so I didn't. Now, without him, I'm starting to head right back where I was. And when I promise myself something, I KEEP IT. If I can't talk to him SOON, I WILL do what I have to. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE HERE. YOU DIDN"T HELP ME LIKE PLANNED. I WILL HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN. ITS THE ONLY WAY. And, IF it DOESN:T WORK....... GUESS WHAT???? I SURE WON"T COME HERE BECAUSE IT WON"T HELP ANY. I WILL JUST HAVE TO GO OFF TO A BETTER PLACE AND R.I.P.

When was the last time that you ever took someone's advice to heart that has been given to you on this site concerning your life situation?

[beth911]

When's the last time anyone actually gave me advice?

[Clough]

When's the last time anyone actually gave me advice?

Almost every time you have posted, you have been given the advice of others. Now, Wondergirl has been the primary one to stick with you. Here is a bit of advice from me right now. If I were you, I would be careful about showing anger on this site or "crying wolf" let alone the times that you have ignored the advice of others and just simply went on writing your diary here. Because, this thread, like others I remember, could also end up "hanging by a thread" and the "thread" just might end up breaking.

I'm sure that you know what I mean.

[talaniman]

Wow, Beth, to tell the truth, this post was kind of hard to read. Proper paragraphs and punctuation make it so much easier.

Now, is this the same guy that was drinking and doing drugs?

Hun, you can't make anyone do something they are not willing to do. You can't make him want you.

This post was all about what YOU want... "I want him to know..." Even if I want to give up I won't... " etc.

Relationships are not all about what you want, but what is best for both of you. Right now he does not want to be in a relationship with you, and there is nothing you can do to change his mind. Don't even try. Because if you do, and you succeed, he will harbor resentment or mistrust.

It is very obvious that this is not a healthy relationship and that you need to let him have his space and you have your own space. Lying to a partner is never a wise decision and will ALWAYS backfire.

You got very good advice the very first post, but your reply?

That's it? I don't get like any real good help? Anyone who understands and knows exactly what to do? I mean, OK, if I want us to dtay toegther but he doesn't, what do we do?

Now this whole thing is about you, and you refuse the obvious, you can't control hs feelings. You go on and on about what you want. You need to accept he doesn't want a relationship with you, and end this "How come I can't have him" post, that is going nowhere. As a man I can tell you that it not going to happen. Sorry.

[beth911]

You need to accept the fact that you need to shut up

[Wondergirl]

You need to accept the fact that you need to shut up

So you want advice, but it has to fit into your narrow parameters first before you accept it as valid?

Read this carefully: YOU have to get your act together first before you have any kind of chance to get J back.

[beth911]

I got another e-mail from him and he said that he doesn't like me or my personality. That was yesterday but I read it today. Then today he seen me talking to that one girl, then he said "Do you still go in the library for lunch?" I told him that I do and he said he had to tell me something. Then when I went into the library, he came in and I said "if this is something that I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know, don't tell me" he said in a voice that sounded like he was afraid of telling me or nervous "You aren't going to like this but one of your friends came up to me in the hallway and started asking me a bunch of questions. If you keep talking to people about me, I will tell people things about you that you won't like." I told him "ok now go to lunch" then he said "like your ex" then he walked away. I asked her what she said to him and she said she didn't talk to him. I tried to keep her from doing it but I know she kept wanting to talk to him for me.

[beth911]

Next time I see him, will be after he signs up for the air force. I'm not so worried about him going in if he still talks to me. It's if he doesn't talk to me. Then, what am I going to do?

[beth911]

I'm half tempted to find someone else, just as I am half tempted to kill myself. I know neither of them will happen. I'm just going to wait in pain until he decides to come back. I said I would never give up. Why can't he feel the same about me? What did I do to deserve this?

[talaniman]

Welcome to real life, where we don't always get what we want. Deal with it.

[beth911]

Welcome to the real life, where you get on my ignore list

[spartan24018]

"Need to talk about a bad relationship"
You already know it's bad for you, why keep damaging yourself? Love is a two way street, and he doesn't feel the say you feel about him. Get that through your head and leave him be. We win some and lose some. Learn from what you did wrong, if anything, then forget it and move on. Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times in his career. But he stepped up to the plate and took his cuts, which is why he also hit 714 home runs. The point? You CANNOT succeed without multiple failures first. EVERYONE FAILS AT SOME POINT. You cannot succeed every time you try, but you can learn from your failures, believe in yourself and your abilities, and try again, strengthen by the knowledge that comes from experience.
The lesson: Failure is a part of success. Do not let the prospect or the reality of failing deter you from trying again. Brush it off and move on. Temporary failure only becomes permanent if you let it happen.

[beth911]

When i say that i will never give up on him, i mean it

[talaniman]

Have you always had a problem facing the truth??