[moma01]

I am 5 months pregnant, and I just found out my husband is using again. I went throgh this the first year we were together and stayed by his side through all the court, and jail time. I told him when he got out and through all the promises of not doing it again that I wouldn't put up with it if it did happen again. So he has been out for 6 months and he got caught using by his probation officer, and has to go thorugh all the court stuff againand maybe some jail time. He has been doing it for 2 months, but not as much as he used to. I love him so much and we could have such a great life together if it weren't for the meth. But I couldn't deal with it this time so I moved to Utah with my mom and sisters, he lives in California. We talk everyday and I know he feels stupid and wishes he didn't do it. He has told me after all the court and probation he is going to go to rehab because he wants to change and be a good Dad. It is both of our first child, I want to know if I did the right thing by leaving. But he knows I will stay by his side, I just need a healthy living situation while I'm pregnant and I want him to know I won't ut up with it. Did I do the right thingby moving so far away? Or is it bad for him and his addiction?? Please give me some advice...

[J_9]

Yes, you did the right thing! Don't question yourself hun. You told him up front that you would leave if he was caught again, and you did. GOOD FOR YOU!!

You have your priorities straight, and he does not. Funny things meth'll do to you huh? I know not a joke, but seriously meth is so addictive IT becomes your priority. Many times the addict has to lose to win. By this I mean that the addict has to lose something valuable (such as a family) to get motivated to rehabilitate.

One word of caution though... I would not go back if, and until, he is sober for a year or more. Why? Because meth is so addictive that many times the relapse rate is much higher than the success rate when it comes to rehab. Many times 1 stint in rehab is not enough, and they come back out using again in 6 months.

During this time I suggest you send him no money, pay no court costs or lawyer fees, etc... He has to do this on his own. Should you send him money, you don't know if he's paying bills or using it for drugs. He alone dug this hole and he alone has to climb out of it.

Again, I applaud you for knowing what your priorities are, and taking care of that beautiful child you are carrying.

[N0help4u]

You are using good judgment in needing a healthy environment. Often when kids are raised with an addicted parent they either end up having the kid addicted between the age of 11 to 13 or the kid resents and disrespects the other parent for putting up with it.
Also if you give in then he won't get serious enough to get the help he needs. If you and the baby really mean all that to him he will get help but still be cautious.

[talaniman]

You have absolutely done the right thing, and until he is clean, and can stay that way, stay where you are and don't allow him back. Those closest to the addict, are the ones in the greatest danger, so protect you and your child.