[Homegirl 50]

Hello Home:

In the real world, "SHOULD" doesn't happen. SHOULD happens only in the mind of dreamers and fantasizes. What HAPPENS, is what happens. To dismiss the issue as something that SHOULDN'T happen, misses the point of WHY it's happening.

Cause it's happening all over the place.

excon

And just because it does, doesn't make it right. That is an ugly word, the times and reasons it was used was ugly and for people to not see a problem with calling people names based on their ethnicity is just wrong. It show insensitivity and ignorance.
I see no reason for people especially white people to use that term except in a condescending way, and to think it's or cute t use it in a funny way is just ignorant.
I'm black and I don't even use that word.

[Homegirl 50]

Homegirl 50, I was not addressing the use of the "N" word, I was responding to this quote by anon699:

I apologize for the misunderstaniging.

[speechlesstx]

I apologize for the misunderstaniging.

Not a problem :)

[philly4458]

Hey,


Good subject, I think it is because the N word coming from a non black is offensive unless you are a white person who grew up poor in a black ghetto neighborhood. I am a black male who's family never used that word in public. We would only use the N word rarely at home when someone was acting foolish made us angry.

When the N word is used everyone knows exactly what race of people you are referring to. Millions of dollars are made in the music industry using the N word, I think is it absolutely discusting but it sells arcoss all racial lines.


Most white people would only use the N word if they hate blacks or lets say if I got into a fight with a white person and slapped him, the first word that would come out of his mouth would be the N word, It is a word that can be used on impulse even if your best friend maybe black. I believe that the slave masters used that word to dehumanize and oppress a hopeless race of people who where thought to never be a part of our society.

The only thing I can say to white people is why would you even want to say the N word to me anyway? You already use the word amongst each other I don't need to hear it from you because I have a name.

Philly

[s_cianci]

It's what you call a double standard. Our society is full of them.

[s_cianci]

A race is sort of like a family. In my family we tease my sister about what a ditz she is or they tease me about what a smart a$$ I am, and no one thinks anything of it. But if our sils or bils or mils or even our fils start in with the same kind of teasing, all laughter shuts down and my sis or I are offended. "Blood is thicker than water," the saying goes.

I suspect blacks, especially males, using the "N" word with each other is the same thing. We with a German heritage can call each other "krauts," but those Irish-Americans or Italian-Americans had better not call us that!

Unfortunately this type of mentality is exactly what perpetuates racism. It's OK for a black to use the N word but nobody else can. It's OK for a German to call someone a kraut but nobody else can. That's not much different from saying that whites can sit wherever they want on the bus but blacks can only sit in the back. Or that whites can eat at Woolworth's lunch counter but blacks can't. By definition, when you grant one group a certain privilege that you deny others, that's discrimination, which is almost always motivated in turn by racism.

[Homegirl 50]

I'm black, but I don't use the word, but you comparing those using the word amongst each other can in no way be compared to barring a race of people from using public places or making them sit only in the back of the bus. It does not mean among us what it means by whites.
This word and those actions were started by racist, continued for years because of racism. There are still blacks alive that lived during that mess. Blacks not wanting white people to use that word under any circumstances is quite understandable. I see no reason for a white person to use that word unless they harbor those feelings towards blacks.

[deathcool10]

Wat is the N word? But none of u guys actually didn't even mean to be Racist

[philly4458]

Lets say if whites were a minority governed by a majority of blacks and referred to as whitey or pale face it would certainly impact their society in a negative way, after all the N word was only used to refer to north american blacks by their slave masters.

I agree their shouldn't be a double standard but, I can't change that. Blacks who use the N word are no better than whites who use it, but lets face it you've used it too? As I've said before why would you want to call me the N word because someone else did? A dead white man laying besides a dead black man are both equally dead it is only a matter of division between our races in the U.S.A. due to a long history of ignorance and ungodlyness.

I can't speak for everbody but, when I here ignorant whites or blacks speaking foul language I stay away from them it doesn't matter what race you are I don't like it.


Philly

[s_cianci]

I'm black, but I don't use the word, but you comparing those using the word amongst each other can in no way be compared to barring a race of people from using public places or making them sit only in the back of the bus. It does not mean among us what it means by whites.

Yes, there is a comparison. We will never have true equality for all in our society as long as we continue to allow certain groups to engage in behaviors that we prohibit for others. Whether those behaviors consist of saying certain words, patronizing certain establishments, attending certain schools, sitting in certain seats on public transportation, living in certain neighborhoods, the list can go on and on. But it's all the same principle ; as long as there is any form of discrimination then our ideal of equality for all will never be achieved. And allowing certain people the liberty to use certain words but denying others the same is discrimination. You cannot rationalize it by trying to impute different meanings to the word(s) in question depending on the background of the speaker. In fact, it isn't even so much the meaning of the word(s) in question, it's just the mere fact of saying it to begin with. If one group of people are allowed to say a certain word, then so should everyone else ; otherwise it's discrimination. You can also reverse the argument ; if one group of people isn't allowed to say a certain word, then neither should any one else be ; otherwise it's discrimination. Of course, trying to prohibit certain speech raises additional questions besides discrimination, namely 1st. Amendment rights. But that's a separate issue. Now the same argument holds true for other actions besides speech ; if one group is allowed to sit in the front of the bus, then so should everyone else ; otherwise it's discrimination. If one group is allowed to eat in a certain restaurant, then so should everyone else be ; otherwise it's discrimination. But we seem to be a "want our cake and eat it too" kind of society. We love to make philosophical arguments and even force them into law when it suits us but the minute it doesn't suit us we want to forget all about it. Discrimination is bad when we're the ones discriminated against. But it's perfectly OK if it's directed towards someone else. Hell, we even go so far as trying to change the meanings of words when spoken by different people in order to rationalize it! Or we try a more feeble attempt by saying "it's not the same thing" or "you can't make that comparison." But the fact remains that, if you want true equality for all, then the rules have to be the same for all, across the board, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, etc.

[stonewilder]

I have a problem with that too. I hate the N word and I will tell people (white) that they are entitled to their opinion but not to use the word when talking to me. A few months ago while on brake at work a black woman was talking to me and 3 times referred to her ex, her dad and I don't who else as a N. I finally told her to please not use that word and she got angry and walked away. Later she told me that she was using the word in an "endearing " way. Ok I'm not going to argue or debate this issue with her because 1 I don't need any enemies at work, and 2 she towers over me and is nearly three times my size.
I made the mistake when I was a teenager calling a black friend of mine a N. I only did it because my brother and his friend (black guy) called each other racial names in a playful way so I guess I thought it was funny. She was a very sweet and quite girl and what I said drove her to tears. She and her friends never gave me the chance to explain why I said that or how sorry I was for saying it ( who could blame them?). To this day 20 some years later I still think about how I hurt her and since then I hate that word regardless of what color the persons skin is who uses it.

[Homegirl 50]

I think what it boils to, is the reason the word came about in the first place. It was based on racism. I don't think anyone ought to use that word. Given it's history, I think it's ignorant.
Why would a person with any intelligence and knowledge in US history think that word would not bother black people? Why would you even want to use it but to mean something negative?
Yes we have freedom of speech, but people ought to use a bit of common sense and sensitivity. I don't like any negative terms used to describe groups of people and I do't use them, but giving the history of slavery and racism I the country, I think it a hoot to say "don't discriminate against us, we should be able to call black people "N" if we want to." That's kind of like the South telling the North, "we should be able to own slaves and treat black folk like animals if we want to, don't discriminate against us"
But I guess people have the right to be ignorant and rude, just don't get bent out of shape when someone calls you on it.

[Stringer]

i'm not just talking about black people and white people. im not just talking about race. expand your mind...think about racism against people because of religion and culture as well. im black and im sick and tired of the whole black white thing. it's getting old fast..and jesse jackson and al sharpton have made black people look even worse...and that's why i want to talk about different kinds of racism. with asians, mexicans...arabians...ect. why do people automatically think every arabian is a terrorist? isn't that stereotyping? it's ridiculous to me.

With all respect... we need the original thread poster to respond.:confused:

[Stringer]

I have a problem with that too. I hate the N word and I will tell people (white) that they are entitled to their opinion but not to use the word when talking to me. A few months ago while on brake at work a black woman was talking to me and 3 times referred to her ex, her dad and I don't who else as a N. I finally told her to please not use that word and she got angry and walked away. Later she told me that she was using the word in an "endearing " way. Ok I'm not going to argue or debate this issue with her because 1 I don't need any enemies at work, and 2 she towers over me and is nearly three times my size.
I made the mistake when I was a teenager calling a black friend of mine a N. I only did it because my brother and his friend (black guy) called each other racial names in a playful way so I guess I thought it was funny. She was a very sweet and quite girl and what I said drove her to tears. She and her friends never gave me the chance to explain why I said that or how sorry I was for saying it ( who could blame them?). To this day 20 some years later I still think about how I hurt her and since then I hate that word regardless of what color the persons skin is who uses it.

Stonewilder; excellent post...

[Homegirl 50]

It really amazes me when people get bent out of shape when someone calls a gay person a fag; didn't some actor get fired from a show from doing that? (BTW I think it was a totally stupid thing to say), but we want to "stand up for our rights" to call a black person n****r. What's up with that?
The reason it bothers so many is because there are a lot of us that lived during the pre civil rights movement era. We remember what it was like. We remember the word andw hat it means and people using it and treating us like animals with no repercussions. We remember being discriminated against and nobody giving a hoot. And now for a white person to say "you're discriminating against me by saying I can't call you a ni**er is pathetic.

[ETWolverine]

As others here have mentioned, what bothers me is the double-standard. It's okay for one group to use the N-word, but not for another group. That's a double-standard regardless of which groups we are talking about.

From my point of view, if someone calls me a "Kike", it is a racist term, even if the word is being used by another Jew. And knowing the origin of the word (it was actually a name for a jacks-like game played by Jewish children in Europe called "kigelach") doesn't make it any less racist. So the fact that the "origin" of the N-word is racist and Blacks have today taken that word and "made it their own" doesn't really convince me that it isn't a racist term... even if Blacks only using it amongst themselves.

Seems to me that what's good for the goose ought to be good for the gander.

Elliot

[Homegirl 50]

Not all black use that word and given the history behind it, there is no excuse for anybody to use it. It is a racist word, why else would a white person use the word?
If people want to be ignorant , that's their right, but I will not give whites permission to call me a n**ger and not be offended.
We have lost all sense of decorum in this country. We want to be free to insult people do all kinds of ignorant things and not have anyone tell us it's wrong.
I come from a generation when there are some things you just don't do. You don't call people out of their name. It is insensitive and rude. I also grew up in the time before Civil Rights. I grew up when I could not go where I wanted to go, when you were called that word and white people thought they had every right to and a black person had no say over anything. There is no way I'm going to give someone permission to use that word, or say "it's OK if you say that" I know what the word means and I know what white people mean when they say it.
I have lots of white friends and none of them I know would even think of using that word. They know what it stands for.
I have no respect for anyone who uses the word, white or black. It shows ignorance, but for a white person to claim descrimination because they can't call a black person ni**ger beats all. That is down right comical.

[s_cianci]

It's not a question of giving a white person license to call a black person "ni*ger." It's the idea of one particular group having license to use the word while others cannot. It's the existence of the double standard that's discriminatory, not the fact that a white can't call a black "nig*er." I agree that the word is despicable and should not be used by anybody ; I repeat, ANYBODY. But a number of posters on this thread have tried to rationalize that it's OK for blacks to call each other "nig*er" but nobody else can call them that. And that mentality is very troubling as it is ultimately degrading to blacks to think that way. Another post on this thread was by a German-American who compared it to the use of the term "kraut." She suggested that it's OK for Germans to call each other "kraut" but woe to anyone else who tries it. Again, that's a very troubling and dangerous mentality. As long as you allow even one exception the sense of decency and respect that is sought by not using the term in question will not happen and the group referred to by the term in question will continue to suffer degradation and dehumanization as a result and it is a direct antithesis to the sense of equality and dignity for all that we as a society have long prided ourselves on.

[Homegirl 50]

I would not call a German a kraut Period. If they want to call each other that, I really don't care, it's on them, between them. I would not feel discriminated against if I were told not to use the word because it is just not a part of my mentallity to use it any way.
I think the reason it matters to others is because they use the term themselves or think negatively about Germans. Same with the N word.
If you don't have that mentality, why would you even care?

[stonewilder]

A few months ago while on brake at work a black woman was talking to me and 3 times referred to her ex, her dad and I don't who else as a N. I finally told her to please not use that word and she got angry and walked away. Later she told me that she was using the word in an "endearing " way.

Had I turned this lady in for using racial slurs I'm sure they would have said no more to her than," We don't use that word in our work place" and she may have got a written warning (maybe). If I had used that word I would have no doubt been fired. Why because I'm white and she's black? That's just not right.