[ISneezeFunny]

So this happened a little while ago... so don't read my post about my breakup this past weekend and go THAT LITTLE MAN WHORE. OK?

So, this is one of my odd sexual experiences in college:

This girl and I were pretty good friends, hung out a bit, we got along great. One day, we decide to go on a formal date, as she's never been on a date before. We go to dinner, a carnival that was in town, and we end up back at my place. We're just on the couch watching a movie and talking, and we start making out. One thing leads to another... and yeah.

Now, by this time, I've had some experience. We're about to get into it and something just doesn't feel right. The way her body moved, she was very stiff, very unaccommodating to my movements... not sure I can explain it. She then looks at me and tells me I'M A VIRGIN. I'm not too shocked, but still. Uh oh. She then tells me that she still wants to do the deed, but she's just inexperienced. So I try to calm her, get her relaxed, go slow. We're in the middle of foreplay and I realize that she's not doing ANYTHING. I mean, she's literally just laying there. Hands at her sides, and nothing. So I am doing all the work.

OK... she's nervous... understandable... so I caress her hand and guide it to myself, and she immediately pulls her hand and goes NONO. SORRY. NO.

OK... the rest of the event continues this way.

In the morning, she looks at me and says, THERE'S MORE I HAVE TO TELL YOU. Uh oh. NOT ONLY WERE YOU MY FIRST, BUT YOU WERE MY FIRST KISS AS WELL.. . beg your pardon?

Side note: she is NOT socially isolated... she's smart, funny, relatively attractive, very nice and sweet. I can't believe no one ever asked her out.

Yeah. So... after that, we remained friends, but every once in a while, I still think about that day, and go,. WHAT DID I DO? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

... I just felt like sharing that.

[mjl]

So you said that she said "nono sorry no"... why did you keep going?

Any polite guy that found out that a girl was a virgin would have at least waited until he was in a relationship with her before sleeping with her. What a stupid way to lose your virginity... I mean it is the best gift you can give to the man of your dreams... and you knew she was a virgin, and you still slept with her just for the sake of sleeping with her! Wow

[ISneezeFunny]

Nono. She said NONO to the hand thing. She was adamant in the sex thing. At first, I must admit, because she was my friend (and not some drunk girl I meet at a frat party), I felt awkward so I asked her over and over again... are you OK? Are you sure? You sure this is what you want?

[mjl]

But really though... you knew it was her first time and you cared enough about her (because she was your friend) would you want her first time to be a more special moment not like just one night I got horney? As a friend you should have said, no you should wait until you've found the right person because you deserve more than a one night stand for a first time. She's your friend and I'm sure she did deserve more than that.

[ISneezeFunny]

She was an adult, mature enough to make her own decisions. I figured, if she waited this long to kiss a guy, she could have easily waited longer to have sex. She said it herself, "I want to do this with you."

[mjl]

Well, then you should be happy that she picked you to be her first.

[ISneezeFunny]

I am quite happy and honored. We are still very good friends, and if anything that night brought us closer as friends.

[mjl]

Have you considered dating her, because by the sounds of it, it could work... I mean she obviously feels close enough to you, probably to shy to ask though.

[simoneaugie]

It sounds fine to me. Do you have conversations about that one incident? Would she like to do it again? If not, why?

[ISneezeFunny]

We joke around about it. We're really good friends, but we know we're not compatible in a dating relationship. She's the type to be attached to her boyfriend, where I'm the type to be more laid back...

We've actually talked about dating, but we both realized that it wouldn't work. We talk about that incident, jokingly. I don't make fun of her for what happened at all. We're just very comfortable with it. She tells me that she doesn't regret her decision and neither do it.

[Choux]

It sounds like it wasn't about you... she wanted to get "broken in" by a friend, is my opinion.

Lots of pressure to have sex from our warped culture on young folks who are ill-prepared for the reality of having a good sexual life because of negative religious propaganda and parents ignorant and fearful of talking about sex with their children!

[Wondergirl]

Sneeze, I'm just going to have to write an entire book with you as the hero! Your posts are awesome!

I agree with Choux. The girl likes you and trusts you and wanted you to be her "first," knowing you would be gentle and caring. Maybe you should start a business...

[talaniman]

Helping a damsel in distress is what a gentleman does. You must be okay if she chose you for such an honored task.