[cherryblossom]

I've been in a relationship for a year and 4 months now... and everyday it seemed like I had to wake up and try to make myself be happy with him. It didn't come naturally.
Well anyway, so I went to eat about a month ago with a group of girlfriends and I met this waiter... and he absolutely swept me off my feet.
So I broke up with the guy I had been with to go on a date with this new guy. And it was a blast. But my previous boyfriend and this new guy had me all confused. I didn't know really what I wanted at the time. And I continued to talk to both of them.
Well last wed. this waiter called me and told me that he felt like he was second in my life. Like I was putting my old boyfriend before him. And that I needed to make up my mind.. because he wanted to be with me.
So on Friday.. I went to see this waiter... and I told him that I just wanted him. He gave me reason to get up in the morning and make myself pretty! He encouraged me and complimented me like no one has ever before. So after I told him how I felt, his eyes filled up with tears and he told me that he couldn't date me after all.
I begged for him to tell me why... he didn't tell me the whole story but he did tell me that a couple of years back... his dad had left the woman he loved for him... and now that he finally "fell" for someone... it was payback. And that he felt like he needed to be loyal to his dad. I WAS CRUSHED.:(
It didn't make sense to me.
So last night, I went on a date with my old boyfriend... the entire night I thought about this new guy... I even pretended that my old boyfriend was him. I really fell for him and now I don't know what to do... does anyone have any advice?.

[ISneezeFunny]

Yeah... don't date your old boyfriend. It's not fair for him... and eventually, the relationship will crumble because you will try to make your old boyfriend into your new one. You weren't happy with the old one, remember? End the relationship and read friend4u178's post on WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU GET DUMPED. Granted, you didn't get dumped, it'll run through the breakup.

I'm not sure what the deal is with the new boyfriend... loyal to dad... no clue what's going on there. Try talking to him for more details, and if he shuts you out, then leave it be. No need to push him away further.

[peggyhill]

I'm sorry you're sad right now!! I think that you should stop seeing your old boyfriend if you wishing he was someone else. It sounds like you have moved on past him. I'm not sure what the waiter's deal is. I hope he wasn't lying to you. It almost sounds like some kind of manipulation/excuse or something. I don't understand why he would break up with you to "pay his Dad back". Do you think this guy has a girlfriend or something? Just take some time for you and be single for a little while. I know it sucks, but when the right guy comes along you will know it for sure! You have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time to find a soulmate, so if these guys give you the run-around or don't live up to your expectations, then let them go.

[PandabearsRock]

What I think you should do, is don't go for neither, its not fair to yourself and them