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peterjacksonanalogue · Dec 10, 2007, 11:51 AM

If anyone can tell me or help me out with who I should contact about this situation it would be much appreciated. I am a 20 year old male that lives in Austalia.

I have only just turned 20 and my girlfriend:confused of seven months has told me she is pregnant and planning to keep it. It came as a BIG surprise to me as when I first met her she was using birth control. I want to be there for the baby as I am not the one to run away from the situations I create but do I have to have my name on the birth certificate. Also If I don't will I still have to pay child support or another form of payment.

I have only just started my own business which will take a few years to get running and I have a ty job in which I can only just pay for myself to survive.

ScottGem · Dec 10, 2007, 11:55 AM

Not sure how the laws in Australia work, but you probably do not have to be on the because for her to collect child support. If you are not on the because she will need to get a paternity test done to prove you are the father, before collecting.

peterjacksonanalogue · Dec 10, 2007, 12:01 PM

Can I refuse a paternity test?

ScottGem · Dec 10, 2007, 12:06 PM

You can, in which case she can go to court to force it.

In your orignal post you said; "I am not the one to run away from the situations I create..." Yet refusing a paternity test IS, In my opinion, running away from the situation.

I have frequently said, in these types of cases, that no one should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child.

peterjacksonanalogue · Dec 10, 2007, 12:28 PM

That is a fair point. But I don't see it as running away. Running away would be to move to a different country. I would be more than happy to have a child in a few years once I can truly support myself, the mother of the child and a child.

My main concern is that I can hardly take care of myself let alone a child and I believe she is in the same boat as me. I just don't think it is the right thing to bring a child into the world at this moment in time.

I have tried speaking to her about these things but she is not going to change her mind. If you can understand where I am coming from you would see it is just plain wrong.

macksmom · Dec 10, 2007, 12:38 PM

Bottomline, your refusal to accept this child as legally yours by avoiding all means such as signing the birth certificate, trying to refuse a DNA test etc. will NOT get you out of paying child support.

If you refuse, a COURT ORDER will be made, ordering you to take a blood test. If you refuse, you are in contempt of a court order and can serve jail time.

My suggestion would be to get a second job and be prepared to support your child. How would you explain to your child later in life that you refused to sign his/her birth certificate, and refused to take a DNA test so you wouldn't be proven his/her legal father and have to pay child support??

Sad sad sad, that you would basically disown your own child to get out of child support.

Next time, make sure to have protection.

ScottGem · Dec 10, 2007, 12:41 PM

I view running away from the situation as trying to avoid your responsibility. I'm sure you are not in a position to afford to deal with a chld, either financially or emotionally. But you should have thought of that before you dropped your pants. You didn't so now you have to face the consequences. Maybe you can talk her into adoption, but that's her choice. If she chooses to keep it, you become responsible.

I would suggest consulting with an attorney.

peterjacksonanalogue · Dec 10, 2007, 12:45 PM

What is sad is the system. Women complain about how they don't have enough rites. In this case no matter what happens I will burn at the stake for it. I bet I am not the only guy to have ever been in this situation and I guarantee there will be plenty more who will fall into this trap.

peterjacksonanalogue · Dec 10, 2007, 12:52 PM

ScottGem you idea sounds the best about trying to talk to her into adoption.

Sorry about the last post some of it was written in an angry state. I just don't feel that I have any rights/say in the situation. Just feel so trapped.

macksmom · Dec 10, 2007, 12:56 PM

The system works for what is best for the CHILD... not you.

The child didn't ask to be brought into this situation, why would you think it was okay for that child not to be financially supported by the people who are bringing him/her into this world?

I understand you feel trapped... its scary when you are about to have a child and are unprepared... but you can't act like this is anyone's fault but your own. You can't deprive a child of what they need and deserve.

ScottGem · Dec 10, 2007, 12:56 PM

You had plenty of rights. You had the right to keep it in your pants. YOU VOLUNTARILY gave up those rights when you took it out of your pants.

But I am not unsympathetic. The woman does have the upper hand here. It is the woman's choice, as it should be In my opinion, to decide what to do with the fetus or whether to keep the child after birth. The father's choices are very limited as that point.