[Lynne Marvin]

My brother and my sister-in-law have been married 40 years. In all those years I have been subject to my sister-in-laws hurtful critisims of me. I have for the most part tried to ignore her mean words. But recently it became too much and I finally told her to knock it off. Now---- She's decided to punish me by not speaking to me and actually that's oksy with me. Thank goodness, my brother and I still have a good relationship. Do I just write her off and forget about trying to have a family relationship?:confused:

[ballengerb1]

She is not punishing you, she looking for a way to get you back again. She has been a B_____ for 40 years and you telling her off did not change her one iota. Just be yourself and speak with her as often as you did before, act normal. Every time she takes another shot at you tell her off again, she may be a slow learner but might decide to pick on someone who doesn't fight back. There is a chance you and I are related because I think I know this crab.

[KISS]

Well, knowing that it's verbal abuse is one up. This means the battle will only get worse. They seem to crave the being in control. There is the key - break the control. She wants silence - talk to her. She wants to verbally abuse you - ignore her. Joke about it.

What they don't like is exposure. e.g. Hey Suzy just called me an "ugly duckling". Sam, do you agree with that?"

It's going to a be a loose-loose situation. To tell you the truth, I'd write her off. But guess what? She doesn't do it to everybody.