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    anonymously_me's Avatar
    anonymously_me Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 9, 2007, 09:25 AM
    Relationships and marriage
    I am in my early 20's and I am married. Almost a year now. I love my husband with all my heart, and I love being married.

    My husband is the only person I have ever been with, he was my first and only boyfriend I've ever had.

    Latley when we go out with our group of friends I've started to wonder if I am missing out on the whole dating scene. None of our friends are married and they look like they are having so much fun experiencing different relationships. I've skipped that stage in my life and wondering if I really am missing out on that. I've dissuced this with my husband but he doesn't really understand because I'm not the only person he's been with.

    Now, don't get me wrong. I don't regret getting married, and I take the vows we made very seriously. I wouldn't ever cheat on him, and I don't believe in divorce.

    Do you think it is foolish of me to wonder what that stage in life would be like?
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Dec 9, 2007, 09:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by anonymously_me
    Do you think it is foolish of me to wonder what that stage in life would be like?
    It's not foolish to wonder, but rest assured you aren't missing anything. Take it from someone who didn't get married until he was almost 35. Consider yourself lucky that you have an established family at a young age.
    stonewilder's Avatar
    stonewilder Posts: 420, Reputation: 99
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Dec 9, 2007, 09:50 AM
    I think what you are feeling is normal. I bet your friends secretly wish they had what you have too.
    rpg219's Avatar
    rpg219 Posts: 504, Reputation: 81
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 9, 2007, 10:00 AM
    I agree. I would think it is normal for you to wonder, as long as you don't act on it. I was like you in the manner of marrying at an early age. Then I divorced and went "wild". Now I'm back to my settled stage (married for life this time, with a child). Although I had fun... I'm more the settled down type, as it sounds you are. I think it was very honorable for you to discuss this with your hubby. Keep that up and you'll be wondering a loong time (that's a good thing) :) Honesty is what makes a marriage last.
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 9, 2007, 10:18 AM
    Annon,

    Foolish to wonder? Absolutely not! Even if you see a the perfect male (me of course) and all you passions ignite for an instant, relax, you are human, welcome home.

    Emotions and passions are natural and not to be worried about. It's what you do from that magical moment when we meet that counts. It sounds as though you already know and are able to enjoy the moment and just let it go. The dating scene is no longer you playground.

    However, I assume that you are still allowed to go on a date with your husband. I know I'm still dating my wife.

    Oh by the way, I forgot to tell you (trust me) that I'm sixty, rotund, with blue eyes and non brown hair. Is that your definition of the perfect male?

    Congratulations on being married and enjoy yourself. Marriage is not a life time of misery. It is and has been a source of comfort, companionship and friendship for me. I hope my lady feels the same even after all these years.
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,099, Reputation: 236
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Dec 9, 2007, 10:36 AM
    This may be a case of "the grass looking greener on the other side". A lot of single and uncommitted folks are afraid of the lonely nights and wonder when, if ever, they will end. The idea of "dating" your husband is something you might explore. Hopefully, he will be receptive to this idea as well.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Dec 9, 2007, 12:27 PM
    As you can see we all wonder what if from time to time, normal. That you and hubbie can talk about it is so cool.
    cat_eyes21's Avatar
    cat_eyes21 Posts: 34, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Aug 7, 2008, 11:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by anonymously_me
    I am in my early 20's and I am married. Almost a year now. I love my husband with all my heart, and I love being married.

    My husband is the only person I have ever been with, he was my first and only boyfriend I've ever had.

    Latley when we go out with our group of friends I've started to wonder if I am missing out on the whole dating scene. None of our friends are married and they look like they are having so much fun experiencing different relationships. I've skipped that stage in my life and wondering if I really am missing out on that. I've dissuced this with my husband but he doesn't really understand because I'm not the only person he's been with.

    Now, don't get me wrong. I don't regret getting married, and I take the vows we made very seriously. I wouldn't ever cheat on him, and I don't believe in divorce.

    Do you think it is foolish of me to wonder what that stage in life would be like?
    I think that you are not missing out on anything. There is a reason why you and your husband got married and hopefully it was because you knew that you wanted to be with that man for the rest of your life. Its funny because I got married at 19 to my husband. Me and him are currently separated because he started with those same thoughts. I tell you this because my husband cheated and it lead to our separation. He has admitted to me that out of all the women he has dated during our separation they don't compare and will never be able to fill my shoes as his wife. I have to say I feel the same way. Even though my husband hurt me I have yet found someone that makes me happy how he did. I think that you should try not to get caught up with the friends who are single. Maybe you should surround yourself with people who are married just like you. Take it from someone who knows your friends will only get you into a world a heart ache. You can also have fun without having too much fun. I think that it is very unlikely to find love your first time around, so hold on to it and get rid of any negativity.

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