[1to1]

My daughter was born out of wedlock and her father wanted nothing to do with her. He signed her birth certificate only because I begged him to and promised not to go to court to seek child support.

Here is the problem. I have never denied the father access to her since I wanted her to have as normal a life as could be under the circumstances. But now the father tries to be involved in ALL aspects of my daughter's life and I don't want him to be. I don't want him interferring with her schoolwork, for example, but he insists on going to her school and has caused uncomfortable situations for the teachers there.

My question is this: does he have any rights at all? How can I keep him from going to school functions? We are in Illinois. Thanks for any advice you can give.

[charlotte234s]

First, ask him to cease the things you don't like, he needs visitation but not at poor times or at the expense of the child. If he doesn'tagree and work with you, you should talk to a lawyer and try to go to court and get his visitations down to supervised visits or assigned visitation days/times since he is causing your child problems and won't cooperate with your requests.

[s_cianci]

He signed the birth certificate so he has the same rights as any other father. He can and ought to be involved in all aspects of her life such as her schoolwork.

[GenePoole]

It was very generous of you to forgo child support but is it fair to your daughter? It sounds like the guy wants to be an active, evolved father. That's good. But don't you think that includes some financial support, and I don't mean an occasional "gift".

As Charlotte234s said, see if you can work with him on more structure to the visitation and some regular child support. If he's smart, he'll go for it. The alternative is court-mandated child support, which can be pretty heavy, and more limited visitation.

I wish the father had asked the question, then the answer would be easy: Thank your lucky stars and cooperate with the mother, she's holding all the cards.

[Fr_Chuck]

OK, first public school events, parents groups, talent shows and the such, there is really no way to stop him from being invovled, you do need a child custody order, so that the school can not talk to him instead of you.
Until there is an order in place, he has as much right with the child as you do

[1to1]

My daughter is 10. If I go to court at this point, will he have to pay child support retroactive to her birth? I have paid 100% of all her expenses for her entire life, beginning with her prenatal care.

[GenePoole]

My daughter is 10. If I go to court at this point, will he have to pay child support retroactive to her birth? I have paid 100% of all her expenses for her entire life, beginning with her prenatal care.

If you had a child support order, yes, the father has to pay retroactive from the time of the order (and there is no statute of limitations). But since you didn't get a court order, I think the answer is no.

But is your question: "If I take him to court now, about more structured visitation, is he going to get hammered with ten years of back child support when all I really want is more control over his excessive involvement in my daughter's life?" No, not if you don't demand it.

[GV70]

Retroactive Child Support
FAM 154.131. Retroactive Child Support
(A.) The child support guidelines are intended to guide the court in determining the amount of retroactive child support if any, to be ordered.


(B.) In ordering retroactive child support, the court shall consider the net resources of the obligee during the relevant time and whether:

(1.)the mother of the child had made any previous attempts to notify the obligee of his paternity or probable paternity;
(2.) the obligee had knowledge of his paternity or probable paternity;
(3.) the order of retroactive child support will inpose an undue financial hardship on the obligee or the obligee's family; and
(4.) the obligee has provided actual support or other necessaries before the filing of the action.


(C.) It is presumed that a court order limiting the amount of retroactive child support to an amount that does not exceed the total amount of support that would have been due for the four years preceding the date the petition seeking support was filed is reasonable and in the best interest of the child.


(D.) The presumption created under this section may be rebutted by evidence that the obligee:

(1.) knew or should have known that the obligee was the father of the child for whom support is sought; and
(2.) sought to avoid the establishment of a support obligation to the child.


(E.) An order under this section limiting the amount of retroactive support does not constitute a variance from the guidelines requiring the court to make specific finding under Section 154.130.



(1.) Retroactive child support is not mandatory.

(2.) There is no law that makes it mandatory that the non-custodial parent (obligee) pay back welfare collected by the custodial parent (obligee).

(3.) 154.13(b) states that your income for each of the past years needs to be considered when calculating retroactive child support.

[GV70]

If you had a child support order, yes, the father has to pay retroactive from the time of the order (and there is no statute of limitations).

Not sure... In my practice the judges are not willing to afford retroactive CS when the mother has ever known who the father was and has never attempted to collect CS.

[GV70]

Is retroactive child support automatic?
No. The custodial parent must specifically request it in their court papers. This request can also be made by the Attorney General. Either way, if nobody asks for it, they cannot receive retroactive child support.
The court can order retroactive child support but must consider the following items in deciding whether retroactive child support should be ordered:
The resources of the non-custodial parent (obligor);
Whether the mother had made any previous attempts to notify the obligor of his possible paternity;
Whether the obligor had knowledge that he might be the father;
Whether the order of retroactive child support will impose an undue financial hardship on the obligor or his family; and

However, the law presumes that the father should not have to pay more than 4 years of retroactive child support.

[macksmom]

"denying him access" to his child is not going to play favorably on your end if he decides to take you to court for visitation. The judge is not going to like that the father has tried to be in his child's life and you are trying to prevent it. You should be thankful that you have a father that wants to be involved.

That being said, being involved also includes financially supporting his child.

Sure, it was a nice thing to do (in his eyes) telling him you wouldn't file for child support but it's not him you should be thinking about, it's your child you should be doing what's best for.

[GV70]

"denying him access" to his child is not going to play favorably on your end if he decides to take you to court for visitation. The judge is not going to like that the father has tried to be in his childs life and you are trying to prevent it. You should be thankful that you have a father that wants to be involved..

EXACTLY!!

[kompes]

It's not that simple. Illinois is a conservative state. The unmarried mother is presumed to have the primary or natural right to custody of children born when she is not married. Therefore, she has the legal right to custody, care, and control over the child and her rights are superior to those of the father or any other person. These rights can be defeated if it can be shown that the mother is unfit or has abandoned the child. It sounds like the mother in this case has allowed the father to have access to the child without requiring any parental responsibilities from him. Nice deal for the dad although I am wondering why she allowed it. If child support is not important to her and if the child is well taken care of, healthy, well adjusted, doing well in school, etc. and has a good relationship with both parents, why would he want to interfere with the setup? If he does go to court for formal visitation rights, she absolutely can request retroactive child support and will probably get it if he has never contributed to any medical, dental, or other routine maintenance expenses. If her only concern is the school and if the child is doing well in school, he should back off and enjoy the good thing he has going for him.