[tdhines]

Look my boyfriend went to jail got a 100 thousand dollar bail for domestic violence, came home 2 days later to his moms where he is now. What I want to know is when I go to court I am going to tell the truth I just don't want him to go to jail or be fined because we have a newborn together. What should I do? And I'm not saying this cause he said he love me because I have not seen him since the incident occurred. I just wanted to scare him not take it that far.

[shygrneyzs]

You tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He has anger problems that lead to violence. Do not back peddle your story to get him out of trouble. The Judge will see that and you will be in contempt of court.

Sure he says he loves you. He loves you enough to get angry and fight with you and you call the police and he gets hauled to jail. I am not saying that people cannot disagree - but there are constructive and healthy ways to disagree. Neither one of you have ever learned that. It is time you both did. Not just for your own personal sakes but now you have a newborn. Do you want that baby to grow up in a dysfunctional, unhealthy, abusive home environment? Only you can make the real changes necessary.

Anger Management classes, behavioral classes, a relationship counselor - any of those or a combination of those would be a good place to start. If you think you do not deserve any better for yourself at least believe your child does.

Your boyfriend needs a good wake up call too. I would not let him near me, if I were you and definitely not near the baby. Until he makes some inroads into his own mental and emotional health.

[Fr_Chuck]

Most likely him not getting at least a fine is way to late, most likely unless he has a history of this, he will be ordered to get anger management, be put on probation and have a fine.

With that he is lucky, I would like to see every abuser in jail long before the drug user.

[s_cianci]

Were you the victim in the incident that led to the arrest and the $100,000 bail? It must have been pretty serious for the bail amount to be set that high. That means that someone had to come up with at least $10,000 cash just to get him out of jail and to his mom's house. I suggest you see to it that he gets locked up and they throw away the key ; otherwise it could mean your life. "Scaring" him isn't going to cut it ; don't mess around with this. You could lose your child to protective custody if the powers that be find out that there's an abusive situation in your home.