[ZIMMYZIPPY]

My 17 yr old daug. Was going to give her baby up for adoption but changed her mind she got her son back 2 days later now the couple want compensation for the money they spent on baby items . They are also talking about taking us to court, I really don't know what to do. There was no legal document signed. My question is are they able to do this? Help us

[mjl]

You said there was no legal document signed but I find that hard to believe if they had the baby for 2 days. The couple and your daughter would have had signed something if they did have the baby for any amount of time.
I can see how they are angry for spending all of that money on this baby, and then get the baby taken away after only 2 days, but I don't think they should go to court over it. I think you can sort this out with out court.

[cerisa]

She is still a minor, she can't be sued

[ZIMMYZIPPY]

I'm Just Trying To Do Something For My Daughter And Her Son Because The Couple Want Moneys Back For What They Have Done For Her At First I Did Not Think She Wanted Her Baby I Cried When He Was Born Because I Thought I Was Never Going To See Him Again . I Really Don't Want Any Trouble Im Just Trying To Do Things The Legal Way Has Any One Heard Of This Out There Before Or Experienced This Kind Of Situation? Please Give Us Some Advice I Would Really Appreciate It

[collinsmom]

I have a lot of questions, but first, was your daughter working with agency? Also, what state are you in? Every state has different adoption laws and regulations.

[Synnen]

Get a lawyer.

What they probably want compensation for is the medical bills they paid for your daughter's pregnancy and hospital stay. That's standard in most adoption agreements through an agency.

While you may not have to pay the couple for their purchases (that sounds like a scare tactic to get the baby, to me), you may have to pay for all of the medical bills accrued during pregnancy and child birth.

If anything was signed, there's no way she'd get the baby back that easily. However--most states have a short waiting period between birth and placement with adoptive parents where the baby stays in a foster home, so that there is less drama overall if the birthmother changes her mind.

You need to talk to the adoption agency, and I really really recommend talking to a lawyer.

[ZIMMYZIPPY]

No, she wasn't with an agency it was through a family friend and were from AZ, hospital bills were paid by insurance the only things they paid for were baby stuff which they kept, I did talk to a lawyer and he told me not to sign anything because they (the couple) want us to sign a promisary note on how much they say we owe them but I think they did voluntarily knowing that she might change her mind . Anymore advices would surely be appreciated CONFUSED

[Synnen]

If that's the case--Unless they gave you ALL the stuff they bought, they should still have receipts and original boxes for everything, and can just return it for the money at the store they bought it from.

I stand by my original assessment of the adoptive couple: This is a coercive attempt on their part to get the birthmother to change her mind back into placing the child with them, and it's also a revenge move on their part--while she has the right, and no one can blame her--this couple DID have their hopes up for finally getting a baby, and then had those hopes dashed--of course they're upset! Does that justify what they're doing? Nope--but if you understand that they're lashing out in hurt and anger over yet another time when they are not pregnant, not having a baby, still not having a child, then maybe you can find a way to respond back in a way that's not anger.

Not that you should have to pay them anything for baby items you don't have! Of course not!

I would personally ignore their attempts at threatening you until you hear from their lawyer that there's an actual lawsuit. If nothing legal was signed (no reliquishment, no adoption papers, no promissary notes--nothing legal) I would believe that you have little or nothing to worry about.

[Fr_Chuck]

While I can see their point, normally even with contracts they are not inforceable. Now can they sue you ( the parent) for the actions of your minor daughter, of course they can, will they win most likely not, but you will still have to hire an attorney and appear in court a 1/2 of dozen times most likely.

[collinsmom]

From what I understand (and have worked with an agency for the adoption of my son), the adoptive couple can NOT recoup any money spent on the birthmother or child. It's a "risk" you take in the adoption world. The birthmom/birthparent has every right to change their mind (providing it's done within the state's guideline of the SIGNED contract). I agree with Synnen, I think they are just grasping for anything to scare/guilt your daughter into giving the baby back to them. I wish your daughter and grandchild all the best. Take care.

[ScottGem]

I agree with all your previous responses, but there is another factor in this. For an adoption to be legal it has to be certified in a family court. The judge will make sure the birth parents (note the plural) have agreed to it.

I don't know what the laws are in the state where your daughter gave birth, but their trying to go end around adoption laws smells fishy to me. I strongly suggest you check out the laws. It may well be that the whole deal was illegal and they could be in some serious trouble. So taking you (or your daughter) to court is the last thing they want.

[ZIMMYZIPPY]

Thanks For All Your Advices, I Myself Am Not Angry At Them I'm Just Afraid That They Will Try To Hurt Us In Some Way ,in The Process Of All This I Lost My First Grandson ( Who Is Related To This Family) But I Am Really Sorry That All This Happened And That They Had To Endure All The Pain Of A Lost And Hopeful Parenthood . Confused

[mjl]

Good luck on everything :)