Should I even presue him

greeneyedbaby · Nov 30, 2007, 06:36 PM

About a month ago my brother introduced me and a girlfriend of mine to 2 guys. I was surprised to find out the one of the guys and I had been friends while I was dating his ex-bestfriend 3 years ago. After that we lost contact. Well ever since that day my brother and all of my now friends have been trying to get us to have sex. They just never shut up about. So about 2 weeks ago in the heat of the moment we did. That night afterwards the guy started telling me that he wanted to slow down and that things were moving to fast. I ask him what changed his mind about it and he said nothing. One thing about this guy is he's really really shy. When we first started hanging out with me again he wouldn't even talk to me unless I talked to him. However now he call and texts me all the time just to talk. And when him and his roommate (who is dating my best friend) are doing something myself and my friend are always invited. But here's the thing He always hints at wanting to hang out but won't ask me, I have to ask him. He will just ask me 3-4 times what I'm doing till I say do you want to come over. We haven't had sex since that day, but his friend told me today that next time we hang out alone to start fooling around that he wants to. So my question is he even worth presuing? IS there any hope for him? He hs gotten better at talking to me but other than that he seems to not want to take the first step. Am I just wasting my time?:confused:

Rockstar714 · Nov 30, 2007, 06:45 PM

Shy guys are a lot of times nice guys and they are pursuing. Guys don't call just to talk unless they like a girl. They just don't, they're not like that. I think instead of having your friends dictate what you guys do, you need to sit down with him and say "ok, here is the deal..." and get to the root of it. Then you'll both know where the two of you stand.

NowWhat · Dec 1, 2007, 05:50 AM

Well, since you have already had sex with him - why not try and figure him out? He may feel awkward and unsure of himself. He may need reassuring from you on what you want?
Communication is always key.

I have to ask this... Why is your brother pushing you to have sex with someone you essentially just met?

greeneyedbaby · Dec 5, 2007, 10:04 AM

My brother says that he knows that we would make a good couple. I have been in some really bad relationships and knows that this guy is completely opposite from the guys I usually date. He also knows that its not like we are strangers and so he feels that sex is OK. But here's the thing lately when talking to the guy he will ask if I want to have sex again and if for some reason I say no then it's a big joke and he didn't mean it. But if I say yes than he keeps the coversation going but never follows through. I really like him but now I have some other people looking in my direction. I don't want to push him away but I really don't like to play the waiting game. And it doesn't help that when I hang out with my their guy friends and that all they are is friends I'm "playing" around on him. But he is never the one to say that its our mutral friends that say that. Am I just over thinking things or do I need to take things in a different direction?

N0help4u · Dec 5, 2007, 11:48 AM

Don't 'pursue' as in chase him because he could take that as going too fast but be there for him and show an interest in him. Like Rockstar said he wouldn't bother texting you if he wasn't interested. He probably said slow down because he wants sex as a special time when he is ready N0T when he feels pushed into it to please others values (or lack of).
Take his wanting to take things slow as a virtue and appreciate him!