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chris28 · Nov 29, 2007, 02:41 PM

Hey All,

Just stopping by to gripe a little so I do not break my NC. I would say its been about 8 weeks so far that me and my ex girl are broken up. She called my cousin because he got engaged and she also called my grandmother to say hi and all. We also have a few mutual friends that I still keep in touch with and hang out. The other day I found out that she asks how I am doing and all nothing more just asks for a update to make sure I'm still breathing. This is were it gets interesting. She also told them she would like to call me but she said that I'm so in love with her and attached to her I wouldn't be able to stand to talk to her and not have her. She also told them that I loved her so much more than she could ever love me and that I need her. She went on how she was my everything. OMG you don't know how bad I wanted to call her on the spot and flip out on her. I mean she's going out doing what she has to do FINE! Were not together but why is she talking all this garbage?? What did I do?? I don't call her I don't text her I don't email her. I don't get it. To top it all off she calls my cousin and ask how I'm doing so his answer is great and she starts laughing and is like yea sure. My grandmother the same thing she say's he's doing great and she's don't believe it. She thinks she's gods gift to men I don't get it. I feel like she never cared about me especially with this cocky attitude. I just don't know but I had to vent to get this all out so I don't break NC, cause she won't ever she just wants to talk how I'm sooo in need of her...

Any thought??

chris28 · Nov 29, 2007, 02:42 PM

Okie well I guess maybee some of the comments folks made were right, in regards to what's my ex is doing by calling my family. At first it made me feel better that she was thinking about me and wondering or doubting her choice. Se what made me think like this is the way she is the way she acts and things she does mimic her mom. So I think a small party of me was happy once I heard her mom loved me and thinks she made a wrong choice. I guess it gave me a gliimor of hope. So it probably was not the best that I heard all that info. I have not called her and do not intend to this postings is what held me stay strong. At this point were me and her are at I'm sure if I called and talked to her we would be back togethor I no her. I just know that its not right now. She would have to call me. And again I no her so I no she will not. I guess what I'm here today for and to say is that if she made the right choice in her mind or she feels she's doing the right thing for both of us why questions your friends and ask did I make the right choice or her mom or my family. If u feel you made the right choice why re-confirm it with other. Now let me remind you this is someone who never asks for advise allways follows her feelings and desires why now wonder or doubt yourself. That's what I do not get or understand?? Hmmmmmmmm I don't no sorry for repeating the same things sometimes but it makes me understand things better at times.

starcrush · Nov 29, 2007, 02:53 PM

Maybe she saids this stuff about you to uplift herself.

shygrneyzs · Nov 29, 2007, 03:52 PM

I think this has already been discussed at great lengths, Chris, why this ex girlfriend is still in the picture. Control. She cannot let go, part of her still denies that she was dumped. Girls like her, Queens of the Day, are like that. It would not be healthy to call her - from your other posts, it would be very unhealthy for you to call her and for you to see her and for you to go back to her. Right now you are as fixated on her as she is on the issue of the break up.

You need to get out, get back into life, develop some friends that have no history or knowledge of her, and get past all this. Have you read through any of the archives on surviving a break up? Not sure I posted them to you before. So will do it now. Please pardon if it is a repeat.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

Have you considered professional counseling? Have you told your friends and family yet that the No Contact Rule about the ex pertains to any information they feel they "have to give to you". Such as the phone calls to your Grandma - your Grandma does not need those calls and does not need to tell you about them. Same goes with the friends. There are better things to talk about than this drama queen.

Are you going away for the weekend? If so, have fun and remember - NO re-hashing of the ex girlfriend. That is destructive.

chris28 · Nov 29, 2007, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

I think this has already been discussed at great lengths, Chris, why this ex girlfriend is still in the picture. Control. She cannot let go, part of her still denies that she was dumped. Girls like her, Queens of the Day, are like that. It would not be healthy to call her - from your other posts, it would be very unhealthy for you to call her and for you to see her and for you to go back to her. Right now you are as fixated on her as she is on the issue of the break up.

You need to get out, get back into life, develop some friends that have no history or knowledge of her, and get past all this. Have you read through any of the archives on surviving a break up? Not sure I posted them to you before. So will do it now. Please pardon if it is a repeat.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

Have you considered professional counseling? Have you told your friends and family yet that the No Contact Rule about the ex pertains to any information they feel they "have to give to you". Such as the phone calls to your Grandma - your Grandma does not need those calls and does not need to tell you about them. Same goes with the friends. There are better things to talk about than this drama queen.

Are you going away for the weekend? If so, have fun and remember - NO re-hashing of the ex girlfriend. That is destructive.

Your so on point but the only thing is that she dumped me...

enigmagnetic · Nov 30, 2007, 03:20 PM

Actually, the fact that she dumped you, IMO, only further confirms you should be getting out and start living your own life. You need to work on yourself. You can think of it in this way. "I'm going to work so hard at being the best I can be that no one would ever want to dump me again." The fact that she dumped you and she is still intruding on your life actually makes her seem a bit nuts. It matters not whether she dumped you or you dumped her, because either way it's still over. You can either dwell on it or realize life is too short to live in dreadfulness. You either get busy living or get busy dying. This is what she wanted and she chose it so wish her best of luck (to yourself) and decide which path to take on this crossroad.

stonewilder · Nov 30, 2007, 03:37 PM

Good for you for not calling her! That's probably exactly what she wants you to do. Some woman aren't happy if they can't keep some drama going, especially if it puts them in the center of attention. I would instruct your grandmother and who ever else to tell her if she wants to know how you're doing to talk to you. Of course if she does call you don't answer the phone.

AnnaP · Dec 1, 2007, 01:39 AM

Sorry, Chris, but all I can think of is that she is showing she is not worth it, and that you just ignore and forget about her.

chris28 · Dec 1, 2007, 10:30 PM

Here's were it get weird now she called me today cause she had a fight with one of her guy friends she wanted me to call and defend her. I took the call kind of as a excuse so we spoke and evenetly I went to her friends house and met up with her. First she took my phone and checks all the numbers then we sat and talked and she came up to me hughed me sat next to me and all. Then she started crying and kept joking how's she never getting back all this. And she just kept cryinng so if I wasn't confused before now I'm totally lost

chris28 · Dec 1, 2007, 10:30 PM

Here's were it get weird now she called me today cause she had a fight with one of her guy friends she wanted me to call and defend her. I took the call kind of as a excuse so we spoke and evenetly I went to her friends house and met up with her. First she took my phone and checks all the numbers then we sat and talked and she came up to me hughed me sat next to me and all. Then she started crying and kept joking how's she never getting back all this. And she just kept cryinng so if I wasn't confused before now I'm totally lost