[bananarama691]

I've been with my boyfriend for 2yrs now and when we 1st started dating we were having sex at every available opportunity. Now, however, I have to basically beg for sex and then only rarely I get pity sex from him that I know he isn't enjoying which is a huge turnoff for me. We are both young and I thought people our age are meant to be barely coming up for air.

If we do have sex its only so he can ejaculate and let the hormones take over so he can go to sleep. There is no foreplay, even though I've tried to introduce it on numerous occasions. He has no interest in satisfying my needs and giving me an orgasm when he gets into these moods. The sex is purely so he can get it over and done with and go to sleep. Ive tried talking to him about it, including what his sexual fantasies etc are but to no prevail. I've tried sexy lingerie and have read evry piece of sex info I can find on making things more exciting and enjoyable in the bedroom but he still isn't interested. Im a professional dancer and get many offers from other men but I am always nothing but loyal to my boyfriend.

Im starting to scare myself now though because I'm having dreams of having sex with other men and I'm really against cheating on my partner. I love him so much and he really is a beautiful guy, treating me like a princess. He uses the 'im to tired' excuse or sometimes no excuse at all just a 'no'. He even gets upset if I touch him below the belt. I'm really at my wits end with what to do but I'm so sick of feeling ugly and unattractive to him. Im constantly trying really hard to be attractive to him. I miss being wanted sexually.

I know he's had a rough time over the past few years and I've read up on how depression affects your sex life and I've talked to him about seeing a doctor (not because of the sex but because he's down on himself) but he claims that he isn't depressed. What should I do? Back off or what? He always tells me how supportive and caring I am but I'm also scared of smothering him. I don't want our relationship to die over something as little as sex.

[simoneaugie]

Sit down with him. He should be undistracted and talking/listening to just you. Tell him the essence of what you just wrote.

You're feeling undesirable
You love him and have been loyal
You don't want the relationship to die because of just sex
He hasn't been satisfying you sexually
You need and want sex with him to be an ongoing part of the relationship
You are fantasizing about having sex with other guys! (no, don't leave that out.)

See what his response is. Go with what your gut tells you, not your heart. If you want him to continue this behavior, you can let him. He may be willing to talk about it and make some changes, or he may start a blame game. This is not your fault! No matter what he may say, his behavior speaks for itself. He is behaving as if he doesn't care about you. If he really does, he will act differently once he is aware of how you feel.

[blondie87]

That is pretty much a verbaitem explanation of how I feel. That is exactly my problem... to the T

[Cheshire2008]

He might not want to have sex with you. Men sometimes ( I am not men bashing) will stay in a bad relationship rather then find a new one. They ignore the crap out of you and hope you will end the realationship so they do not have to be the bad guy. I think you need to grab the bull by the horns here ( so to speak) and have a heart to heart. Remember there is no such thing as a " happy ending" Nothing that is good ends
Or maybe I am wrong and
You need some time away from eah other to appreciate each other.
Also you may be overreacting and something is really bothering him
Other then "your relationship" Job problems, family problems , erectial disfunction
Who knows
Take a deep breath good luck be strong and go girl!

[Choux]

Time to move on... he isn't your husband who you would spend some time with trying to work things out because you and he have a formal commitment. How exhausting life would be if we felt we had to maintain unhappy relationships with all people who treated us badly!. being treated badly is a sign to *move on*.

Life is to be enjoyed, girl!. don't chose misery and problems.