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alibaba266 · Nov 26, 2007, 01:31 PM

My 14 year old son has been living with his father's mother for the past 3 years. He has ADD and learning disabilities and thought that maybe he needed his father in his life on a constant basis.He likes living where he is and doesn't want to move back with me at this time. I know I can't force him too.His father and I were never married but I have full custody of him. I have been paying child support(not court ordered) 60 dollars a week, to his father, even though I have custody and he doesn't live with him. Am I responsible to pay this? Or does he have to take me back to court for custody and support. Would it be wrong to give directly to my son 30$ week and put 30$week in a savings account for him? I feel like I'm not obligated to pay child support to the father, especially if he doesn't live with him and I feel my son is better off with me. His grades are poor due to lack of structured home environment.

ScottGem · Nov 26, 2007, 02:12 PM

First, please be more attentive to the forum you post in. The Forum Help forum is for asking questions on using the site. So I've moved your question to the FamilyLaw forum.

You aren't "required" to pay anything unless there is an agreement in place beither mutual or court ordered. Therefore you can do anything you want to as far as support. If the father doesn't like it, he can go to court and have things formalized.

macksmom · Nov 26, 2007, 02:37 PM

You don't have to pay anything unless it is court ordered.

And even then, I doubt you would be ordered to pay anything to the father since your son is not living with him.

You should be paying support to the grandmother where your child is living.

At this point though, you don't HAVE to pay anything. But if you do (which I think you should since the grandmother is housing the child) I would make sure to keep records and receipts (or copies of checks) etc. This way you can prove, if you do end up in court, that you have been paying something toward the financial support of this child.

But I would definitely stop giving the money to the father, and give it to the grandmother instead.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 26, 2007, 04:27 PM

You don't have to pay anyone anything at this point and time, But money paid to your son directly is not and would not b e considered support, if your ex took you back and asked for support and/or back support.

I believe you would be better off with you and your ex sitting down with an attorney and working things out.

Gigolo · Nov 27, 2007, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by alibaba266

My 14 year old son has been living with his father's mother for the past 3 years. He has ADD and learning disabilities and thought that maybe he needed his father in his life on a constant basis.He likes living where he is and doesnt want to move back with me at this time. I know I can't force him too.His father and I were never married but I have full custody of him. I have been paying child support(not court ordered) 60 dollars a week, to his father, even though I have custody and he doesnt live with him. Am I responsible to pay this? Or does he have to take me back to court for custody and support. Would it be wrong to give directly to my son 30$ week and put 30$week in a savings account for him? I feel like i'm not obligated to pay child support to the father, especially if he doesnt live with him and I feel my son is better off with me. His grades are poor due to lack of structured home environment.

If you are thinking of so many issues as mentioned... Do something about it and right quick... ADD? If he falls any further behind in his studies what is the child's prospects later on in life? Money isn't the real issue here! Save his future while you still have a chance.