[HvenSentOne]

I have three sons. My question is regarding my oldest son. I want to be a better mother but I don't know how.
He is a senior and has half days. His father tells me he should be working or taking up a few extra high school electives so he will have a full schedule. I say "why." He is a senior and has enough credits. I say "let him enjoy being a kid for a few more months."
Everyone is telling me that he plays too many video games and spends too much time on myspace when he comes home from school.

I don't know what to do. Am I wrong for allowing him to enjoy his senior year.. or should I push him harder to grow up?



Thanks,

~Deb

[Caralyn]

In my opinion, if he is doing well in all other areas and is not being disruptive at home, isn't staying out late etc, I say keep on doing what you have been doing. It's a sensitive time for kids, any drastic changes now will have wondering what he's done wrong. Let him have the time he has left to enjoy being a kid. He'll be out there earning a living soon enough.

On the other hand if he is being disruptive, not doing his chores, staying out late, then it is time to draw in the reigns, lay down the law, and set some more ground rules. Everybody, even adults, are into video games and web journals and blogs. If you're like me, you'll want to take care of any chores in order to have your time at the computer and enjoy it without feeling guilty about something you should be taking care of. Encourage your son to do the same thing and, so long as everything else is taken care of first, let him have his time on the computer.

You're husband isn't wrong, he is simply preparing for when he has to push his son to get a job and get out into the big real world. Talk, negotiate and compromise. And discuss it with your son also, all in preparation for what his next step will be. Try to avoid letting him hear you and your husband arguing about him and his future, he'll hate that and it will make him feel very guilty.

[J_9]

Personally, I think it is time to grow up and see what the world is like. He needs to take responsibility and from what I have read, I may be wrong, he has none. What's wrong with a part-time job?

I understand you want to keep him young and don't want to "push him to grow up," but if he is going to go off to college he NEEDS to learn some responsibility NOW before it is too late.

At his age, going to school half day then staying home and playing video games or playing on the computer is only setting him up for disaster. It is teaching him that it is okay to be lazy and that you will always be there to pick up the pieces for him.

[HvenSentOne]

"Not what I wanted to hear"... LOL. (But, probably what I needed to hear.) :/

[J_9]

HvenSentOne : "Not what I wanted to hear"... LOL. (But, probably what I needed to hear.) :/

I know it's not what you WANTED to hear, but yes, you did need to hear it. I am speaking from experience my dear. My oldest just got married a month ago.

He definitely needs to learn responsibility. We want to keep them young and shelter them from the world as long as possible. Well, that time is up. If you continue with this he will never get a job, and when he does he may change jobs like he changes underwear. At this point in his life he should be learning how to make money, save it, and spend it wisely. If he doesn't learn this now, he is in for a world of hurt when he is on his own.

You can't keep him a baby forever, so you might as well begin to prepare him for adulthood.

[ea trax]

I have three sons. My question is regarding my oldest son. I want to be a better mother but I don't know how.
He is a senior and has half days. His father tells me he should be working or taking up a few extra high school electives so he will have a full schedule. I say "why." He is a senior and has enough credits. I say "let him enjoy being a kid for a few more months."
Everyone is telling me that he plays too many video games and spends too much time on myspace when he comes home from school.

I don't know what to do. Am I wrong for allowing him to enjoy his senior year..or should I push him harder to grow up?



Thanks,

~Deb

I am still in school I work 5 days a week casual I think that he should work somedays and use my space when he needs to its not that great?

[mimi03]

I say "why." He is a senior and has enough credits. I say "let him enjoy being a kid for a few more months."

The best thing you could do right now is to encourage him to take responsibility... really this process should have started a very long time ago and progressed as he matured... I know that this hasn't been the case because you say he's not even doing his chores responsibly.

I'm a 21 yr. old young lady and I have an 18 yr old brother... By 16 I was taking college courses, during the summer I had a job be it fast food or babysitting and also volunteered at a hospital in our city... My brother is taking AP courses in school he works on the weekends and plays every sport at his high school, he's also actively pursuing a goal/career in photography...

Having an active lifestyle is so important at this stage and helps to develop character, responsibility and maturity... please don't support your son in remaining a kid instead support him in becoming a well rounded, valuable young man/adult.

[JBeaucaire]

EIGHT MONTH OLD thread, peeps. Hehe.

[mimi03]

EIGHT MONTH OLD thread, peeps. Hehe.

Lol opps! But I hope she got the message here and he's not running home every other weekend for her to do his laundry!

[DoulaLC]

Well, hopefully he is all set for graduation, has gotten a part-time job to have some spending money, and who knows... maybe he will be going onto a degree in computers, digital animation and game design... :)