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nelly_elly · Nov 20, 2007, 05:46 PM

I'm a 19 year old girl, who met a lad aged 21 in work. We fell for each other instantly. However I have drawbacks when it comes to dating because I worry too much. I turned him down a few times as my fear got the better of me. This last time I decided to give it a go. I want to feel happy, but I'm petrified inside, because I just haven't been in a relationship before, yet he has. He says he will respect all my views as he likes me that much. But I just get really worked up and get allsorts going through my mind, like what happens if I don't have a normal body etc? Plus tonight he said he found it hard to keep his hands off me, I felt a little uncomfortable yet he didn't at all push me. I also caught him having a few sneaky peeks at my chest. Is this normal from a lad? Should I just get on with it and deal with it? Or does it sound like because he knows I'm inexperienced like he may just be out to see what he can get? Please help me soon thanks

bushg · Nov 20, 2007, 05:50 PM

Go out and enjoy being with him and getting to know him. You sound like a smart girl, don't do anything that you are not comfortable with. If he gets to pushy then you'll know, he isn't the one for you. Have fun.

letmetellu · Nov 20, 2007, 07:36 PM

Quote from Nelly_Elleyshould I just get on with it and deal with it? Or does it sound like because he knows I'm inexperienced like he may just be out to see what he can get? Please help me soon thanks

If you think that he knows you are inexperienced and that he may be out to see just what he can get, it is up to you to make sure that he does not get what he wants. The time will come with some lad when you will know that everything is OK and you will feel free to do what you want.

450donn · Nov 21, 2007, 08:03 AM

Men tend to have two things on their minds, SEX and food. And depending on the time of day and the last time they ate will determine which is on top at any particular time. Dating can be hard, just remember to stick to your moral values. All men like to look, it is natural. However if it makes you uncomfortable, tell him so in a nice way and if he stops, then you go on from there. If he continues to look and grope you in an uncomfortable manner and after telling him he does not stop, then you take control of the situation and end the relationship.

nelly_elly · Nov 21, 2007, 08:53 AM

Thanks for your help guys. So it is totally normal for a lad to talk quite sexually and have a look and things? Its just he seems quite a sexual guy, yet he said he never wants to make me feel uncomfortable and will totally take things at my speed and level. I'm just worried as I don't want to be used for sex, but I'm sure that in many relationships sex can be a big aspect of it, yet there can still be great love and the wanting to be together as well as the physical side? Does this sound correct?

bushg · Nov 21, 2007, 09:12 AM

Listen to your inner voice, if he makes you uncomfortable you know it. Don't let anyone on here tell you how you should feel. If he is talking about sex on your first date, maybe that is why you are uncomfortable. You should be getting to know him and getting comfortable with him. Not him talking about his sexual desires. I say watch out, he could be a little player.