[notthrilled]

I am the father of two children born out of wedlock. I pay child support for my oldest child, and I am engaged to the mother of my youngest. My fiancé wants another child, and I DON'T. I tried to express to her that if things didn't work out that paying support for 3 kids could cost me everything I own. She calls me selfish and says that if I am concerned about paying more child support that I have intentions of leaving. We've been together for 10 years and we have had lots of ups and downs. I love her and I have no desire to leave her, but I guess I am trying to cover my butt. Am I wrong?

[charlotte234s]

You're not wrong, it's your personal decision not to have any more children. Have you talked to your fiancé about how expensive children are? Perhaps she has a desire for her own child, but if you guys don't share the same desires for life maybe that's a sign.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

If you don't want more kids that's your decision... but you have to realize she may be a woman who wants many kids. What you need to do is think about this. Do you think your relationship will crash and burn? Is there anything that could break you apart?

If you answer no to the above questions, then why are you bothering in covering your ? Why are you worried about child support if there is not chance of leaving? If anything else just say you aren't ready for another YET! Let this second one grow up a bit before having another... trust me, I've seen other women try to raise a 1 year old and a new born (2 and 3 or 3 and 4 you get the idea) raising kids like that is hard. Give it some years before having another kid, maybe by then you will decide that you are ready for another child, and by then this first kid will be old enough to not get to jealous by a new baby.