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Kia · Nov 13, 2007, 02:21 PM

So what does it mean when you find guys only want to sleep with you, but don't want to continue dating or develop a relationship with you. Does that mean there is something wrong with th female?

jolienoire · Nov 13, 2007, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by Kia

So what does it mean when you find guys only want to sleep with you, but don't want to continue dating or develop a relationship with you. Does that mean there is something wrong with th female?

It's all in the way you present yourself.. EX: How are you dressing, acting, talking, Do you seem easy? Are you unclear that you want a relationship and just give yourself easily? Do you have a reputation? Also the circumstances you are meeting this guys on the location? It really depends on which guys you are attracting...

Most importantly there is nothing wrong with the female, just that maybe you should present yourself differently. Or change the group you are around because if your girls are doing things you are not people will assume "BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER" and will believe you are that way..

Basically a guy can't sleep with you unless you allow it, And don't think having sex is going to keep him around, there is time for that later, if he waits he respects you.. If he can't tell him to keep on moving..

kuulski · Nov 13, 2007, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by Kia

So what does it mean when you find guys only want to sleep with you, but don't want to continue dating or develop a relationship with you. Does that mean there is something wrong with th female?

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with her. I can tell you this I don't take any girl serious that will let me sleep with her QUICKLY. If I see something special in a girl then usually she can see it too and she doesn't just jump in the sack with me. My first thought if she does is how many other people have been where I am? Hope that doesn't sound mean or anything because I think every women has a right to be just as loose as allot of men are. If you are looking for someone to take you seriously you have to start by putting more value in you and your body. :>)

shygrneyzs · Nov 13, 2007, 03:15 PM

It means the guy is only there in the body and not in the mind. He sees someone who is making herself available and so he is there to get the benefits. It is fairly plain and simple. If you want a different class of men in your life, you are the one who needs to start speaking up for yourself and say no and no and no. You are worth more than you are letting yourself believe.

Not all guys are like the ones you describe. Some want a true relationship and sex is not the first thing on their mind. If you want that, you are the one who needs to reaffirm your own self worth. Maybe even go to a counselor for a bit to work on yourself esteem. Both women and men with low self esteem will settle for every bit and crumb thrown to them, thinking it is the best they can get. That is so not true.

Work on self improvement. Leave the guys alone until you get your head straight. Define your values and desires in a relationship. Don't even let another guy get you in bed until you already have a strong relationship with him and have the trust and respect you want. Even then, what happens if there is a pregnancy?

statictable · Nov 13, 2007, 05:46 PM

No. It means a girl has to bring more than just a body to any male-female interaction. If you have more than just a body then you have to set your priorities, as in; who gets what and when and how and try not to ask for a guy's input when setting the priorities.

Kia · Nov 13, 2007, 05:51 PM

That is some great advice. I have one more question, do men respect women who tell them pretty upfront if they ask that they are looking for a relationship? I always thought that it is not good to mention looking for a relationship ( whether we slept together or not)until after dating for a month or two. Is that okay to say in the begiining after only a few dates? Or, do men find that a woman like this is clingy or moving too fast? I just know that I have slept with a guy and tried to keep it light and friendly, because I did not want to seem desperate, and I figured if we vibed that we would grow into a relationship( he would mention it).

Basically I have pretty much thought it an unspoken rule that the guy should be the one to mention a relationship. True or False?.

Kia · Nov 13, 2007, 05:57 PM

I say this because, if a woman mentions a relationship as a condition for sleeping together, might that be an automatic setup for the guy to say anything to get in the bed?

How do you know then if the guy is sincere?

jolienoire · Nov 13, 2007, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Kia

I say this because, if a woman mentions a relationship as a condition for sleeping together, might that be an automatic setup for the guy to say anything to get in the bed?

How do you know then if the guy is sincere?

You can make it clear what you want up front, and tell him that you want that stand firm with your decision. If he wants to be in a relationship you can tell. Wait for sex there is no rush if he cares about you he will wait for it. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. IF a relationship is what you want be honest with yourself and the potential guy... You have control over what you want not him.. You will find the right one and you will know when it is right you will feel it.