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cynndy · Nov 11, 2007, 08:10 AM

:confused: Hello I'm new on this page. Well I have a couple of problems, see I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and when we first got together I was planning on going to the marines and I put it off. Know I wish to make my dream come true and actually go he tells me that he loves me and he wants to get married but if I go to the marines he's not going to wait for me,(He says it either him or my career in the marines) he tells me that when I come back if he has a girlfriend for me not to even worry about it that he's warned me about it before I go. I don't know what to do I love him but I'm not sure that we will be together as long as I hoped. I don't know if I should put off my career for him. I would appreciate any advice, thanks.

Cynndy:confused:

Homegirl 50 · Nov 11, 2007, 11:07 AM

If this were him, would you be telling him to forget about his goal and stay with you?
This is your life, he is a boyfriend of a year, if he wants you to choose him over your dreams, this is a sign of how the rest of your time would be with him. He is saying to you "your desires are not important to me"
I'm assuming you guy are early 20s?
You have time for guys in your life, you're young pursue your career. The right guy will come alone.
Tell him good bye and good riddance.

statictable · Nov 11, 2007, 12:43 PM

Go with the decision which creates the most options for you. Options can be the life line to a healthy and rewarding life.

JoeCanada76 · Nov 11, 2007, 12:46 PM

He does not sound like a good boyfriend. Sounds very controlling and to threaten you and make you feel guilty for going with your dream. Is not right.

I think you already know what is most important. Do what you feel in your heart will make you happy and do not let anybody or anyone bring you down.

Follow your heart.

Joe

godiva · Nov 11, 2007, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by cynndy

:confused: Hello im new on this page. well i have a couple of problems, see i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and when we first got together i was planning on going to the marines and i put it off. Know i wish to make my dream come true and actually go he tells me that he loves me and he wants to get married but if i go to the marines hes not going to wait for me,(He says it either him or my career in the marines) he tells me that when i come back if he has a girlfriend for me not to even worry about it that hes warned me about it before i go. i dont know what to do i love him but im not sure that we will be together as long as i hoped. i dont know if i should put off my career for him. I would appreciate any advice, thanks.

Cynndy:confused:

As for the guy, he sounds very imature and fickle. As for the marines(?) I know many a exmarine who all saw action in Nam. They are very troubled and traumatized souls.

s_cianci · Nov 11, 2007, 01:00 PM

That's a decision you have to make. None of us can make it for you. I will say this ; it sounds like you've got yourself a pretty strong-minded guy. What other demands is he going to place on you? There's no guarantee things would work out even if you stayed with him and put off the marines. His overall demeanor and personality make me want to tell you to rethink this relationship whether you go in the marines or not.

mjl · Nov 11, 2007, 06:48 PM

I know people will hate me for saying this but I put my marriage before a career. I chose to get married instead of going to college. My husband is in the Air Force and I am fine being a full-time house wife. That's not necessarily the answer for everyone though. You should do what you feel is right, and if he loves you he will follow. Think about what will happen if you do not go into to marines. Do you think you will regret it later in life? If so, then go for it.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 11, 2007, 08:39 PM

Choosing marriage over college is one thing, choosing a boy friend over a career is an entirely different thing. If he is this demanding as a boy friend now, just imagine how he'll be once he realized he can control you. Give him an inch, he'll take a mile.
There is nothing good about a manipulative man. Don't let him start that with you.

enigmagnetic · Nov 11, 2007, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If this were him, would you be telling him to forget about his goal and stay with you?
This is your life, he is a boyfriend of a year, if he wants you to choose him over your dreams, this is a sign of how the rest of your time would be with him. He is saying to you "your desires are not important to me"
I'm assuming you guy are early 20s?
You have time for guys in your life, you're young pursue your career. The right guy will come alone.
Tell him good bye and good riddance.

Yeah I agree with homegirl. If you love a girl, you let them do what makes them happy, even if it hurts. That's real love. If you have to let go you let go. That's what it takes. Good luck with the Marines.

Leslie25 · Nov 12, 2007, 07:47 AM

Good answer.

cynndy · Nov 12, 2007, 03:19 PM

Thanks for all the advise I'm going to think about it for a while I still have a while before I got to go to boot camp, ill try to do the best thing.

Once again thank you all of you!!

Homegirl 50 · Nov 13, 2007, 12:57 PM

I wish you the best, and strength in making the right decision.

mafiaangel180 · Nov 13, 2007, 01:24 PM

He wants you to choose him... and he is using a threat to sway the decision in his favor. Little does he know, that could backfire.

cynndy · Nov 14, 2007, 09:49 AM

Hello again, okey me and my boyfriend have talked about me going to the marines and he has decided that he is going to wait for me. He said that the only reason that he said that he didn't want me to go because he thought I would find somebody else in the marines. That's such a dumb excuse, I think at least. I told him if I do find somebody I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 14, 2007, 10:47 AM

It's nice to know he was honest about being a jerk. Don't ever let someone manipulate you in to doing what they want.
I wish you well