[i need to know what to do]

My husband and I have been together for 5 years now, and our sex life is non-existent, I ask, I beg, I don't beg, I plea... and nothing... We have a very honest relationship and we have spoken about the lack of sex and romance/passion, but... every time we speak about it, he acknowledges the fact that we need more passion (etc) and that he is glad that we have talked about it, and he will try harder - problem is, we have this same discussion a few times a year for the last 3 years - I just don't know what to do anymore, I love him more than anything and we are the best of friends (I'm starting to think that this is the problem):( - I used to automatically keep track of when last we had sex, and how many times we'd have sex in a year (usually less than 10) - But now I've just realised that I don't remember the last time, months and months and months I guess - This has been going round the same circle for so long now that I can't remember which way I'm going anymore.

[peggyhill]

Have you tried marriage counseling? Does your husband see a doctor regularly? Is he depressed? Is he on any medication?

[i need to know what to do]

No, none of the above... But maybe we should try some form of councling.

[i need to know what to do]

Consider the counsling part

[tidefan1983]

A lot of people, women especially, believe that men can have sex anytime of the day. But the truth is, if a man is stressed about something, for example, work; it can make him not really feel like it just like a woman. As Peggyhill said, is he depressed? Or is there someone else? Not to freak you out but that is a question that needs to be asked. I have had experience with that. My ex cheated on me for 3 months before I found out, and the only reason I did is because I noticed a change in our sex life. Talk to your husband again. This time suggest counsiling, joint and also separate. He may be more willing to share his feelings with a counsiler if he isn't afraid of saying something that might hurt your feelings. And you would also benefit from separate counsiling too. It is sometimes easier to share with an unbias third party.