[renee3689]

So I have been dating this guy for about two months. We have known of each other for about 2 years because we had similar friends. Both of us got out of long term relationships about 4 months ago. We first started hanging out as friends, then we noticed that there was a strong sexual attraction. He made it clear that he was not in a position to jump into an exclusive relationship and I said that I was not comfortable with having sex with someone that was going to date other people. To my knowledge, he hasn't been dating anyone regularly. I think both of us have gone out on a couple of casual dates.

My problem is that I am EXTREMELY attracted to him and we have basically done everything but have sex. I don't want to have sex with him unless he only wants to date me, but like I said, he has reiterated that this is not something he is ready for. We continue to torture each other by taking it to the limit. I feel very frustrated with this process and have never dated a guy that didn't want to just date me exclusively after a couple of months. I have this fear that once I have sex with him, he will be gone. I am tempted to break my boundary with him, but my brain tells me to stick with it because I would be so hurt to find it he is dating someone else.

What do you think? Should I continue to date him? Do you think his boundary is legitimate or do you think he is just waiting to see if I will put out? I can't figure out what his intentions are... Maybe I should backpeddle and stop being so intimate with him, but continue to date him. I really like him. I just don't know.

[Kevin_s]

Hello,

From my past experience, this is blatantly clear to me. If he is NOT dating any one else (and you can verify this) but he doesn't want a relationship, you can't push him. He just got out of a big relationship you say, and he's looking for that quick rebound so he can feel better about himself basically.

You have morals for a reason. If you tell yourself you won't have sex with someone that is not exclusively yours, then you shouldn't go making an exception for some guy.

If he isn't ready for you, then don't waste your time (and/or give him what he wants)

It's all about compromise. Keep doing what you are doing, but don't have sex. Sooner or later he'll see what is there for him and if he takes too long... you need to move on.

Kevin

[jolienoire]

Don't make any sacrifices to make someone want to exclusively date you, Listen to what he is telling you. Don't try to accommodate him you'll hurt yourself, and may regret it. Then it can jeopardize the relationship you have now. Stick to your rules stand behind your beliefs and break no boundaries for no one!

Don't try to analyze what he wants stick to what you want, and don't give him the pleasure of having sex with you especially if he made it clear he don't intend on seeing you only..

I hope I helped..
Good luck and don't give in!

[statictable]

Why the distress? This is part of socialization and growth within a society. It's not a contest to see who gets what or how compromise can be reduced. Sex is not like buying new car. Aside from our awareness of STDs sex has little to do with rational minds; if it did most of us wouldn't be here. If you have experienced intimacy in past relationships why would you not be sexually intimate now? You love him and he sounds like an honest guy who could have deceived you from day one but didn't. Go with your heart and leave your brain out of it and if that's not going to work then wait until you understand human (boy/girl) behavior. Best wishes to you both.