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Demma · Nov 7, 2007, 06:13 PM

Hi,
I am best friend with this guy. We studied together, lived together and basically hang out together. Initially for 2 years , it was just a platonic girl guy relationship.Not until, the guy started falling for this girl, that I started feeling jealous and realised that I might have feelings for my best friend. I know that he treats me merely just good friends.Thus I tried very hard to suppress the new found feelings I had for him and I am doing well. The only problem is that of late, he started saying weird stuff.. like.. he's so grateful that I'm his house mate, I'm so nice, tat my future boyfriend would be so lucky.who ever who marries me is going to be so lucky... He even went to the extent of calling me his DARLING... yet at the same time, he still has strong feelings for the girl that I mentioned earlier.(I know that as he shares his feeling for her with me) I'm so confused as I do not know what he is implying? Is it just him kidding around, by calling me his darling and also saying the weird stuff... or am I missing something ? Is he sending a message out? Or am I just overly sensitive? How can he like a girl and yet at the same time call his best friend his darling and say those weird stuff?!

friend4u178 · Nov 7, 2007, 10:48 PM

Why don't you ask him ?

statictable · Nov 8, 2007, 12:47 AM

You've had a few years to realize the value of this friendship but not until he told you about a growing relationship with another person did you get your brain in gear and really start to feel how valuable friendship can be. The growth of your feelings is probably due to his interest in the other person and that would be normal for most people but remember you don't know if those feelings would fade if he became more interested in you. If you think he's absolutely the guy for you then let your feelings build until your nose won't stop running and then you talk with him and show him how you feel. Have fun.

JFFTidus · Nov 8, 2007, 12:59 AM

Oh boy,

OK lets put it into some perspective shall we. As a guy I can tell you this is clear. From what your saying I can see this like a light! He likes you and wants you more then just a friend. It seems that he's trying to tell you this often but he's scared on how it will change your feelings for him. He talks about his current girl friend to you because he feels comfortable with you. You two balance out fine. The question is when will you two actually send a signal that is clear enough to understand about how you feel. Surprise him with telling him "If things don't work out with your girl friend then when you finally ask me out I will know how you feel about that" the next time he brings her up. Or just something. Trust me he's interested in you.

Demma · Nov 8, 2007, 12:19 PM

How do I ask him?

JFFTidus · Nov 10, 2007, 02:40 PM

Just ask him when you feel the time is right. And make sure you post what happened OK.

friend4u178 · Nov 11, 2007, 01:47 AM

Originally Posted by JFFTidus

Just ask him when you feel the time is right. And make sure you post what happened OK.

Correct , surely you'll know when the time is right

jasondbel · Nov 11, 2007, 02:33 AM

If you love someone or if they love you there should be no games involved. Sounds like a bunch of games to me. Like there is enough time in the day for more games especially someone where there is "love."

JFFTidus · Nov 11, 2007, 02:52 AM

Originally Posted by jasondbel

If you love someone or if they love you there should be no games involved. Sounds like a bunch of games to me. Like there is enough time in the day for more games especially someone where there is "love."

Um there is a difference between love and infatuation. I think they are at the beginning state of feeling for each other. The posts show that statements from him are fail safe flirtations from him that show how he feels about her as a girlfriend. "Who ever gets you will be so lucky" (like man I would be lucky to have her) translated. Its not so much games but more a fear factor. He may be thinking that what if I make a pass at her and then she gets annoyed with me. Will my friendship get shot down too? I can relate to this guy because I've been in the same situation before with a friend that I was interested in. She was my best female friend and I beat around the bush and she never really responded clear about her feelings and then I ended up dating someone else. She then after had the same feelings as our poor frustrated questioner. After a while she decided to take me to a movie and during the movie she softly held my hand and that's when I knew things were clear about how she felt for me. That was 8 years ago and that hand she used to hold mine has had a ring on it now for 7 years. So yeah things can lead lead you places. If you try and don't succeed well at least you didn't end up married to someone else way down the road and wonder humm... what could have happened?

Good luck to you. And oh don't buy popcorn try to share his. It will give you more opportunity's.

Demma · Nov 11, 2007, 10:43 AM

What I am most worried is that, I might be getting the wrong signal, misinterpreting his words. He might just be jokingly saying all those things without really meaning it. And furthermore, I know he really likes the other girl. It's so obvious that he likes the other girl and all our friends knows about it. How would I know when is the right time to ask him? Knowing when the right time is one problem, knowing how to break the question is another problem. How do I ask him about it? Bring him to another movie..? N hold his hands..? Well.. any better suggestions..? I kind of wan to move on, not to be stuck in this state of uncertainty. To just remain as frens... less complicated, less to worry, less at stake i.e. our friendship and maybe my ego.. but I know tat is not the right way out..? Howwwwwwww??

k_wilson84 · Nov 11, 2007, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by Demma

hi,
i am best friend with this guy. we studied together, lived together and basically hang out together. Initially for 2 years , it was just a platonic girl guy relationship.Not until, the guy started falling for this girl, that i started feeling jealous and realised that i might have feelings for my best friend. I know that he treats me merely just good friends.Thus i tried very hard to suppress the new found feelings i had for him and i am doing well. The only problem is that of late, he started saying weird stuff.. like..he's so grateful that i'm his house mate, i'm so nice, tat my future boyfriend would be so lucky.who ever who marries me is going to be so lucky... He even went to the extent of calling me his DARLING... yet at the same time, he still has strong feelings for the girl that i mentioned earlier.(i know that as he shares his feeling for her with me) I'm so confused as i do not know what he is implying? Is it just him kidding around, by calling me his darling and also saying the weird stuff... or am i missing something ? is he sending a message out? or am i just overly sensitive? how can he like a girl and yet at the same time call his best friend his darling and say those weird stuff??????!!!!!

There is no right time to just come right out and ask him. I would suggest that you talk somewhere privately. Talk about the most recent events. Ask him how does he feel about this new girl. And then ask him how would he define your relationship with one another. Once he can give you a straight answer then you will better understand what is going on. But in my honest opinion I think he is just playing with you. Don't take it to mean something unless he says otherwise. But communicate, that is the key to any relationship.