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confused4 · Nov 6, 2007, 07:37 PM

OK, well last year my sister had an eating disorder and went to being 145 to 85 pounds. It was really hard on the hole family, [[and me]]. My entire family starting paying so much attention to her and none to me. Well as time went on she started to get better, but she still was majorly depressed. So she turned to cutting. And this might sound so incredibly selfish because I KNOW she needed that extra attention but the whole family neva paid ANY attention to me. It got me to the point of feeling like giving up on life and just dying. Me and my sister were and still are really close and we even have the same friend group, and so even them just focused all there time to her. [[i know this sounds selfish but hear me out]]. So then, because of all that plus major drama I had faced later in my childhood, I started cutting 2. I was NOT emo. So please don't thnk that. Wierdly, I think it was to get some of the attention to me. Whitch sounds bad. But, it didn't work. You see when my mom had finally picked up on what I was doing. She didn't do anything abought it. Like, OK as SOON as she figured out my sister had an eating disorder she imiditly got her a concelor and all ths stuff. But its been at least 3 months and she's done nothing abought it. And I mean I'm not even doing it 4 attention anymore, I think I'm basically doing it because no 1 cares and as of right now I've had so much stuff happen that I don't even care. Am I right to think this way? Am I over reacting bought the whole attention thing? Am I being imature abought this all? Please I need answers.

N0help4u · Nov 6, 2007, 08:04 PM

You are not being immature to want your moms attention. You do need to figure out a more effective way to get your mom to understand your feelings though. Your mom should be as concerned about you as she is about your sister. I don't know why she isn't. I hope it is a valid reason rather than that she just doesn't love you. Can you talk to her about your feelings and tell her you desire her love and attention. Ask her why she doesn't seem to have the same concerns or feelings for you as she does with your sister. Sometimes parents just don't realize they are being that way and really don't mean to.
I know I neglected my second child because my third and fourth were terrors and they took ALL my time and energy. My oldest was depressed so I gave her attention too. But my second oldest I neglected because she was always strong and independent from the get go. She resented me for years for 'ignoring her' but she realizes why things were the way they were and she knows I love her just as much.
Be glad your sister is there to sort of fill the void your mother leaves. Often the *favored* sibling likes to rub it in and only alienate their sisters and brothers and cause resentment.

confused4 · Nov 6, 2007, 08:15 PM

I have talked to my mom abought this whole sitoation, an she thinks I'm being childish and overreacting. I think(hope) she loves me. But she just don't show it. Its very fruserating. All I want is to have a good relationship with my mom and friends but I don't have that. I don't know what to do.

ashleynbrett88 · Nov 6, 2007, 08:54 PM

All right look, your sister was going threw a very tough time and you have no reason to even want attention when she is going threw such a hard battle.. I think that your selfish and you need to stop being so emotinal and get over yourself.. not everyone is going to give you the attention you want or even deserve so the best thing to go on with your life knowing the only person to make you feel the way you do is in fact yourself. So stop thinking no one loves you or doesn't care because they do but they don't need to show it, you should already know. Stop thirsting for attention and be yourself.. move on with your life and grow up.. mommy's not going to always be there to help you sugar.. learn to lead yourself.

N0help4u · Nov 6, 2007, 11:35 PM

I am sure your mom loves you, but she is going through more than you realize. She may need some emotional support herself. Be strong and be thankful you do have a good mom.
She probably does need you to be strong.

pinkface92 · Nov 7, 2007, 08:49 PM

I don't think its selfish. My older brother gets a lot more attention than me. Its not that anything is wrong w/ him. He just gets a lot more attention. I am the 1 w/ the problems. They don't know everything about me, but they know something is wrong. But they don't take the time to find out what it is that bothers me. But I can say I can relate about the whole attention thing. My advice is to just leave the whole mom situation alone. If you keep bringing the attention thing up it'll just make things worse. Just leave the whole attention thing alone w/ your mom. Just try to ignore that subject and move as best as you can. I don't think your mom hates you. She is just preoccupied. Try and take that experience and learn from it. Maybe you want attention but not in a way like your sister is getting. Try to look at your sister as an example to make sure that you don't go down the same path as far as depression and cutting goes. With your friends, just be honest. Tell them what's going on w/ you. Friends are the people you can be honest with... tell them. Well I hope this helped. Good luck!!