[hary555]

Hi,
I am in a big dilemma here. My girlfriend loves me a lot and I too. But she got a
Little attracted to other guy in her college, though she didn't want to. He was
Her good friend, who then tried to get closer to her and has managed to have
Effect on her mind. Problem is that, I am in europe, and she is in US.( our relationship
Is since 2 yrs, but most of the time has been long distance).
She has been honest with me, and told her, how that guy is trying to get closer
To her. She doesn't want to get involved with him, but also doesn't want
To leave his friendship. As per her description, that guy tried to kiss her a couple
Of times, and even managed to kiss her once for a second, which according to her
Was wrong. He even talks about marriage indirectly. I really get pissed off hearing
All this from her. Since last 4 months,she has been telling that guy several times,
Not to think of such relationship, but he doesn't listen to her. I told her, that if she
Really doesn't want any such relationship with him, then its high time, that she should
Break friendship with him in all possible ways.
But she wants him to be her friend, but not beyond that, and that's what I can't
Understand that even after all this, she is still not willing to leave his friendship. After a lot of convincing, she tried to do that, and for a while managed to do so, but then recently,
Due to some fight in her house and at the same time, me not being available at that
Moment to listen to her sorrows, she again called that guy and started sharing that incident.
So I don't understand, what I should do and what she wants.
She tells me all this, and doesn't hide, if she talked with that guy. But still..
Appreciate your 2 cents!!

[Marriedguy]

You are in a lose, lose situation. Your girlfriend wants this guy to be a friend clearly this guy wants more. So if you insist on her dropping this loser you are going to be the bad guy, because now you don't trust her. You are going to reply I do trust you I don't trust him. Then she is going to say she does not want to be with him so why is it an issue?

If makes the decision to not be friends with it be because that is what you want not what she wants.

Yet, If this relationship continues this guy will push her into cheating because he can provide physical stuff you can't from far away. Either she is playing stupid or just naïve this guy has already kisses her. If that is not enough to tell her that this guy doesn't respect the relationship between you and her. They are only friends because she will not allow more. If there are that close to each where he can sneak in a kiss something is wrong.

This is why long distance relationships rarely work. If you don't have any intentions on move closer to her or her to you soon, you two have to break-up. If you happened to move closer one day and both of you are not in a relationship try again.

[Sean23]

If your girlfriend truly loves you, she will drop the friend because she knows him being in her life is hurting you. Perhaps she likes the attention from another guy, maybe she is just flattered?. Who knows, but it seems there are two guys in her life in her at the moment, when really there should only be one. That's you.

Who does the guy think he is kissing your girlfriend? And why did you girlfriend not drop him that very second?

If it is really make your life hell, you need to explain to your girlfriend how you feel, and be serious with it. She then has two options, drop the friend, or drop you. If she does the second option, at least you know where you stand. Which will eventually be better then how you feel now.

[whisperingwind06]

The thing is she loves you enough to tell you what is going on. She has made an attempt to stay away from him but she went back to him because she was going through a rough time in her life. She probably called you and vented a little, but to have someone close to her to vent was a natural thing for girls to do.

She just wants you to listen and care for her. By caring I mean make a surprise visit or send some flowers her way. Cheesy stuff makes a girls heart swell.

And when she brings up the topic of her guy friend hitting on her tell her "Thats because your soo dang sexy. But he better step off or i'll take a trip back there and heads are going to roll." say it jokingly and laugh with her.

I'm pretty sure she still loves you even though you are far away.

[whisperingwind06]

Sorry another part.

After you say "your going to come back and heads are going to roll" blah, it gives her something to rely on. She can tell her guy friend that your going to come back and kick his a$$ so that he'll stop trying to date her. She probably won't tell you what she wants that's making this so frustrating just listen and tell her not to worry its going to be okay.