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chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 07:56 AM

Hi all,

This Wednesday makes 6 weeks that my ex broke up with me. I think about her every morning and once in a while during the day. Today while going to work I ran into her best friends mother who I became close with through her. We talked for a while then I asked how my ex was doing . She told me that she's going for surgery to remove her thyroid she and that's she's been a little crazy with all this going on. She told me that my ex told her not to tell me because she didn't want me to get upset. But I really want to contact her and be there on the day of or after. She's getting the surgery by December is this wrong to contact her?? Should I break the no contact for this?? What's everyone's opinions. Would this oversteppign my boundries?

Thanks!!

chris08 · Nov 5, 2007, 08:05 AM

I don't see the problem in contacting her over something like this. Surgery is completely different and she probably needs all the support she can get, she'll probably be a bit worried about it too. I would find out the date she is in hospital and without a doubt turn up and hand her mom/dad a get well soon card from yourself and some flowers. You don't have to be embaressed about it (I don't know if you feel that's the case?) but there's no harm in turning up doing what I've said, you don't have to stay around the hospital either, make sure you get the card and flowers to her parents and then leave. You can then start the No Contact process from here.

All the best.

chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 08:54 AM

I hear you

statictable · Nov 5, 2007, 10:04 AM

Some nice flowers will be fine. She'll know you have her in your thoughts and can rest and recover. She'll be on pain meds and tired for a short time and when she's back on her feet she may call to thank you. Communicating prior to her surgery might be good or it might simply add to all the things she's dealing with. You'll know best if it will help or hinder. If you fill out a nice card to go with the flowers try to stay on-point and be brief; don't go into you or I or we, just show support and she'll appreciate that.

chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 10:50 AM

So I sent a small email sayign I'm there for her and to call if she needs anything didn't going into any past or anything else. I also said I wanted to stop by after she's out will drop a few things off to her flowers and all and leave... I feel like she will appreciate that and if she doesn't or doesn't responf to the email I will just back off.

crushedovernover · Nov 5, 2007, 11:43 AM

I didn't read much ofthis but from what I did read it looks like your looking for excuses to see her or be in contact with her. She is not your problem anymore. I woulndt do anything with flowers. A card saying hope you get well son or something of that sort.

chris08 · Nov 5, 2007, 11:48 AM

The thing is, we don't know why exactly she broke up with him? They could have broke up on decent terms. He's still going to care for her, personally I wouldn't of e-mailed I would have just turned up at the hospital with a card and flowers. It's a difficult situation, probably needs more views to be honest.

chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 12:43 PM

Well the terms we left of on were great everything was OK we hugged kissed and walked away. I mean we didn't arguee or fuss or anything I mean maybee I am wrong but that why Im here to get different opionions. I do have to say I do care still and I contacted her for support and to contact her it might be a reason but like I said that's why I'm here asking

Foxy459459 · Nov 5, 2007, 01:37 PM

If you love her then I would do the whole flower thing, and tell her that your there for her if she needs you. I would just follow your heart.

chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 02:00 PM

Yea I probably will I made the attempt emailed her so she can let me know what the date is going to be and called her to let her no I emailed her. I did my part is she gets back to me great if not nothing else I can do. When I called she sounded very surprised to hear from me since we haven't spoke for weeks She didn't have much at all to say. She was quit and sounded sad or shy almost So I just asked if she felt weird and she said she feels a little weird speaking to me. Like I said before we left off great I made the contact cause I feel it was right and now I sit back and wait to see what happens...

Thanks and any more responses or opinions would be appreciated.!

madaman · Nov 5, 2007, 02:06 PM

It may seem like negative thinking, but the reason she said for no one to tell you might be because she really doesn't want anything from you i.e. flowers or help. Im not saying this is the case but keep that in mind.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 5, 2007, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by chris28

Hi all,

this Wednesday makes 6 weeks that my ex broke up with me. I think about her every morning and once in a while during the day. Today while going to work I ran into her best friends mother who I became close with thru her. We talked for a while then I asked how my ex was doing . She told me that she's going for surgery to remove her thyroid she and that's she's been a little crazy with all this going on. She told me that my ex told her not to tell me because she didn't want me to get upset. But I really want to contact her and be there on the day of or after. She's getting the surgery by December is this wrong to contact her???? Should I break the no contact for this???? What's everyone's opinions. would this oversteppign my boundries??

Thanks!!!!

She told the lady not to tell you, so she obviously didn't want you to know. The lady told you any way, she betrayed a trust. I don't think you ought to do anything.

chris08 · Nov 5, 2007, 02:12 PM

I just never know with girls anymore.

Foxy459459 · Nov 5, 2007, 02:14 PM

Im a girl and I don't even get us... LOL

kuulski · Nov 5, 2007, 02:53 PM

I can understand why you want to reach out to her. But I don't think its best. Not saying its not a major thing but at the same time its not your problem. She knows you care about her but in a REAL way she left you so she shouldn't be getting the thing she use 2. Feels mean saying it but it is true.

chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 03:15 PM

OK now I'm starting to feel dumb by everyone's answer I think you are all kind of right. She started texting me back and all and she kept it to the point and sweet . I said do you want me to totally just end this contact and all of course she said no but she just don't want to talk everyday. And she also said that everything is OK with her and all . She asked if I had a g/f and what I have been doing. But to be honest I don't no if I did the right things... I left it with her if she wants to contact me that's fine otherwise I'm finished am I wrong??

kuulski · Nov 5, 2007, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by chris28

ok now im starting to feel dumb by everyones answer I think you are all kind of right. She started texting me back and all and she kept it to the point and sweet . I said do u want me to totally just end this contact and all of course she said no but she just dont wanna talk everyday. And she also said that everything is ok with her and all . She asked if i had a g/f and what I have been doing. but to be honest I dont no if i did the right things.... I left it with her if she wants to contact me thats fine otherwise im finished am i wrong???

Nope.

Its about you not her. If it bothers you to talk to her then don't talk to her.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Just go NC.

friend4u178 · Nov 5, 2007, 03:18 PM

Chris
I'm sorry but she is not your problem at the moment. It seems like you are just using this as an excuse to contact her again. You have gone 6 weeks NC and now you have broken it and are giving yourself false hope. Leave her be my friend , if she wants to come back she will , but start looking out for yourself and start that healing process. I wish you luck.

mwilliams15 · Nov 5, 2007, 03:28 PM

Are you two on a break or just broken up and having no contact to get over each other.. if you two are just on a break.. contact her. Maybe something like this could bring you two back together and make your relationship really strong if you show you care.

Good luck... Let the forum know what you chose to do.

chris28 · Nov 5, 2007, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by mwilliams15

are you two on a break or just broken up and having no contact to get over each other.. if you two are just on a break.. contact her. Maybe something like this could bring you two back together and make your relationship really strong if you show you care.

Good luck... Let the forum know what you chose to do.

No we are actually broken up, Like I said earlier in this post Ive been broken up with before and also broke up with others with a ton of anger hatred and all things like that. Not with this girl I still care about her I do understand we might not be able to be 2gethor no more cause of compatibilities issues but I wish she would just say OK I cheated on you or I never loved you or I hate you.

Yes it has been 6 weeks NC and I messed up but sometimes my feeling over throw everything I no is right. When we talked I could sense that she was kind of uncfortable about it. She mention ill let you no when the surgey is but I don't think I can see you cause its akward.

I wish I understood things... And fine you don't want to be with me and all that... Then why ask am I seeing anyone?? I don't get it