[Marriedguy]

Please women only why did you cheat or did you ever consider it?

[Baby-_-Girl-_-19]

Well I've considered it... alot in the past month or so. The only reason is that my BF hasn't been around and hasn't bothered to call or anything I try to call him he's not home. It hurts me and I'm lonely so I wouldn't mind a bit of a distraction or something to say "looky here you dont want to pay any attention to me then i'll go find someone who will ...see SOMEONE wants me and at least they're up front about me just being a peice of a**" but other than that... I can't really think of a reason the thought would ever cross my mind. Anyone who's been cheated on before knows what its like and WOULD never actually do... I feel guilty for even considering it...

[excello98]

Good question! I am really interested in this too...

Any other opinions?

[Emland]

I have been married for almost 22 years and 20 of that my hubby was active duty military. I have never cheated and never been tempted. I'm a one-man woman, I suppose.

[J_9]

I'm going to bounce this one right back...

Why do men cheat? Look at all the "I'm dating a married man" threads here.

[shygrneyzs]

Have I considered cheating? Not really. There was a time way in the first years of my marriage that the opportunity was there but it was not worth hurting my husband.

[wackymb]

I've almost came to cheating. Me and my husband were having problems in the sex subject and just felt like he didn't love me anymore. We are still together and it's been 5 years so far. I haven't cheated yet but, it has came to mind. But, I don't think I will ever do it. I love my husband too much to hurt him like that. I had a chance, all I did was give the guy one little kiss and that was it. I stopped talking to him, etc... I trust my husband so, I want him to trust me. Anyway, it's mainly the MEN that do the cheating.

[N0help4u]

I never cheated on my ex even though he was never there for me.
From what I can see about why women cheat is any combination of these--even all of them

1. Husband makes other things his priority
2. Husband isn't attentive to wife's feelings, needs
3. Husband thinks wife is 'trying to start an argument' every time she wants to discuss marriage problems
4. Wife feels alone, empty and neglected in marriage
5. Husband treats her like crap

Then there are women that cheat just because they have no more morals than men.

[shygrneyzs]

Have to spread the rep to you, NOhelp - but you are exactly right - some women have no more morals than the man. I had co worker that cheated on her husband with a divorced guy and then she got ticked off when she found out he had another girlfriend, actually two other women he was seeing.

[stonewilder]

The only time I ever cheated was on a boyfriend when I was younger and it was because he cheated on me. I only did it because I wanted him to know how it felt. I know it was childish and accomplished nothing. I did think once about cheating on my husband just because I wanted to hurt him for many of the same reasons "nohelp4u" stated but it left my mind as fast as it entered. I really don't know why people cheat but anyone who has been cheated on and I think most everyone has, you would think they would realize how painful it is and make a point not to put that pain on even their worst enemy. I hope you and your wife can get past this but as for me….. God will forgive a cheater, but I never could. Best wishes.

[Marriedguy]

Thanks. My wife hasn't cheated on me (at least to my knowledge). The reason I asked was because me and a co-worker discussed why women cheat. His views were women have the same lust that men have, and therefore if she see someone that she is attracted to see she going to want to sleep with him. What determines if she will? Her morals.

I disagreed. Woman cheat because the relationship is lacking something and therefore go outside the relationship to get it. The women are not getting that attention in some department, which results in unhappiness.

Guys that cheat, cheat because women to these guys are new experiences. Rarely, you find the guy that cheats because he is unhappy in a relationship.

[JaySNJ]

Please women only why did you cheat or did you ever consider it?

I can't say why women cheat. To me it doesn't make since but I can understand just because I have seen friend and family member go through it and there reason for it was they just wasn't getting what they wanted from home. So I say keep your woman happy and they won't cheat.

[whisperingwind06]

A good book that I can recommend for just this type question is Men are from Mars Women are from Venus: Creating a Long lasting relationship by John Gray. At first I didn't believe this book would help me with my relationship with my husband but it chose to be other wise.

I felt that my husband wasn't contributing enough to the relationship. When in actuality we "give and take" equally.

I came home after a bad day only to take care of the children and make dinner all I wanted was to be comforted by my husband.

Consequently, my husband also had a bad day and just wanted to vegg out in front of the TV. I put my feeling aside and kept asking questions believing that I was helping him.

After reading the book I realized all he wanted was to be left alone.

My husband, after being in front of the TV came to me and explained that he hadn't meant to be mean only that he just needed time alone. He then comforted me by listening to my day.

We both came out of it pretty well. I thought of having an affair because I believed that he didn't care for me as I did him. But in actuality he loves me just as much.

It was ignorant and selfish of me to think about having an affair.

It was really no ones fault neither men nor women it is just understanding that really makes the difference.

[depressedhelp]

Hey!! Men cheat a lot to! U just dug a hole and hey, we may cheat but you do too, I personally nvr have, but many people MEN AND WOMEN cheat because, there scared, annoyed, upset, not getting enough attention, so there

[Stringer]

A good book that I can recommend for just this type question is Men are from Mars Women are from Venus: Creating a Long lasting relationship by John Gray. At first I didn't believe this book would help me with my relationship with my husband but it chose to be other wise.

I felt that my husband wasn't contributing enough to the relationship. When in actuality we "give and take" equally.

I came home after a bad day only to take care of the children and make dinner all I wanted was to be comforted by my husband.

consequently, my husband also had a bad day and just wanted to vegg out in front of the tv. I put my feeling aside and kept asking questions believing that i was helping him.

After reading the book i realized all he wanted was to be left alone.

My husband, after being in front of the tv came to me and explained that he hadn't meant to be mean only that he just needed time alone. He then comforted me by listening to my day.

We both came out of it pretty well. I thought of having an affair because I believed that he didn't care for me as I did him. But in actuality he loves me just as much.

It was ignorant and selfish of me to think about having an affair.

It was really no ones fault neither men nor women it is just understanding that really makes the difference.

I went to one of John Gray's seminars in Chicago several years ago, when his book first came out. I learned a lot, really. But 90% of the seminar was what a guy has to do to get along and understand his mate, emotional relationship. We went to dinner with him and I had an opportunity to get to know him better and ask him some questions. 1. He is divorced.. remarried 2. Not all will apply in all instances.. 3. He is on to something here.

Men and women are hard wired differently, emotionally. This is a fact and something we can not change. According to Gray men are genetically wired to be a seeker, "to spread their seed." They have trouble being as emotional as women want us to be. Yes men will look at a beautiful woman, he is lying if he tells you differently. This does not mean that he does not love you, it is something different, according to John it is from way back, almost prehistoric.

His advice to women, sit your mate down, first tell him that you love him (important) and that you want to discuss something, (now, here it comes is what the guy automatically thinks-the worst 4 words that a guy wants to hear "We have to talk.").

He said that men are conditioned from the beginning of time and can not handle too much of this. Keep your discussion to 10 -15 minutes (tell him upfront that it will only be this long-he will listen better if he thinks he won't have to listen all night), tell him what you have to, then let (release) him go to his "cave." This could be television, out side, the garage, basement, whatever. Let him think about what you said, he will digest the information and it will sink in. Talk to him again, however don't forget the 10-15 minute rule.

Now, this makes all guys seem stupid, right girls? No it doesn't, A man is as capable as any woman to study for hours to take a test, for a meeting, he can see the result coming at some point. IT IS THIS EMOTIONAL THING.

Now not all guys are the same across the board, but in general it's true. After he thinks about what you have said and if he loves you, he will respond to you. You may have to bring it up the second time, (10 to 15 minutes) but he will be receptive.

Why should you tell him that you love him first before you begin (and John recommends saying it often)? Because we are wired differently (right?) and the first thing a guys thinks when his girl starts talking is "she doesn't love me." Remove that part from the conversation right away.

And guys, one of the most important things I learned form all this is; she really doesn't want you to solve each problem. A lot of the time she just wants you to be there AND JUST LISTEN AND COMFORT HER-believe me, stop trying to resolve. That is the truth and that is hard for us guys, we have an unconscious desire to resolve problems, guys it is bigger than that, sometimes JUST LISTEN. Men, go out kill the bear, come back provide the meal...

I'm sorry that this is so long I tried to keep it short, there is much more. And I realize that you only wanted women to respond... sorry again.:eek:
Stringer

[FreezeMe]

Anyone who cheats Male or Female is in my opinion completely self-centered. You may rationalize your selfishness by becoming a "victim" of the circumstances you find yourself in. But ultimately you have put yourself ahead of your spouse, children and family.

Quit whining about: "if he would just...", "he's never there for me", "she's frigid", "she doesn't understand me" and on and on.

Start caring for them above your needs and see if your needs don't get met.

Also, people who have affairs with married people and get there feelings hurt are incredibly ignorant. Surprise! It was always about them, never you! Wake up!

[mylovec]

I cheated because I was attracted to another married guy and like wise, it was an exciting journey and don't want to do it again though

[Granny Nanny]

After being cheated on by my first husband and watching my mother go through the same thing with my dad, I am absolutely sure that I would never put another person through the pain of having an affair. We must learn to communicate with our partners before going out side of the relationship.