[chicwithwit]

I am in my low 30's and I have a great boyfriend that has many great qualities like kindness, generosity, communication, etc. There's a few things I'm not crazy about, but I try not to let them bother me. One of them is his education. I really believe in finishing up something you start specially college, since in college you don't only learn different subjects, but you also learn how to think differently, problem solve, deal with a lot of things on your plate, work with stress, at least to some degree. He didn't finish college and has bad writing skills( worse than me). I try not to hold it against him, but sometimes the writing does bother me. The things that does get to me often is when I tell him something, perhaps about a movie, a place etc and weeks later he has no idea what I'm talking about( if it comes up in conversation). It doesn't always happen. When I say certain things or tell him to do certain things, is like I have to keep my eye on him, otherwise he does something different and is usually not right. I feel like I don't trust him to make the right choice when it comes to things and I'm just starting to really loose the interest I had. I feel like maybe I'm been picky, but I just really want someone that I don't have to teach, can feel confident about his judgement and I don't have to worry about giving exact instructions on things. I know he doesn't get me most of the time and I find myself repeating and explaining things(although it's a little less than the beginning). I get quite frustrated and I'm not sure why I am still in this relationship. It has been like 8 months and at this rate I don't see myself falling for him. I wish I could and I really wish he was the guy for me cause he has the greatest heart. I'm very confused with this. I'm not sure what to try. I want more than anything to fall in love and to stop questioning my relationship and if he is the one. I feel at this time I should have a better idea, but one day I feel one way and the next day completely different. Is just hot and cold.

[peggyhill]

Maybe it would help if the two of you went to counseling together. Sit down and make a list of all the things you like about him on one side and all the things you dislike on the other. Compare the two sides and ask yourself if it is something you want to live with. If the answer is no, then maybe he isn't the right guy for you. Just because someone is a nice person doesn't mean they are right for you. Ask yourself this: do you want to be with him, or do you want to be 'not single'. Try some counseling, take some time to really think it over. Can you encourage him to finish up school? Maybe you could do something together that will be a good learning experience for both of you. Go to a museum, take a cooking class or art class together. Try learning something new together. Just because he hasn't finished college, doesn't mean that he can't learn and expand his mind. Try getting him interested in something new and see how he responds. Ultimately, if you feel this is too big of an issue for you to live with, kindly and considerately let him know he isn't right for you. Tell him that you care for him, and that he is a great guy, but the spark just isn't there. Only you can decide if he is right for you or not. Take some time, and see if it is something you can live with. I hope this helps!

[Wondergirl]

His family background could have influenced how he feels about education, and he may have a physical or emotional condition that causes the other problems. Has he ruled out hearing problems, ADD, or learning problems? Did he have trouble in elementary or high school? It may not be something he can control without medical intervention.

All the more reason to meet with a counselor...