[MimiGirl]

Hello,
I have sort of an issue with my man at the moment-it isn't that big of a deal and he doesn't know that its kind of bugging me-The thing is this, he and a group of his guy friends are going to Orlando "Island of Adventures" for this weekend and when he told me I felt terrible with jealousy but pretended to him that I didn't really care I didn't want to make it a big deal.. I don't want him to think that Iam obssesed with him and that I have a jealouse problem so that's why I keep those things to myself.. Iam in fact very jealouse cause I honestly don't know what his friends and epecially him will do over their- I know that when guys get together they tend to hit on girls and flirt and just the thought of him doing that gets me really worried. We go out every weekend and Iam happy because I love to be with him-their are even times that I cancel my plans with my family and friends for the weekend just to be with him cause honestly I feel that he is more important.. but then I notice that it doesn't happen to him, like for example in this case-he knows that we only see each other on the weekend but I feel like he doesn't care that much like me and is sticking with his plans and friends.. In other words, I feel like I see him more important I want to be with him every weekend-but then I see that he too wants to be with me but not as much as I do.. I know Iam probably weird-its just that I care and love him so much that I guess I am afraid of losing him or he commits something over their with another girl.. I told him that I was going to hang out with my girls for the weekend and he asked would ask me if I was going to miss him and that he was going to get me a little gift.. I need some advice on this, is this normal? Should I be worried? What should I do?
:(

[erlobenauer]

Hi MiMi -

If he were to do something while he is away, then he isn't worth your time and devotion anyway. Until he gives you a reason NOT to trust him, then you HAVE to trust him and believe that he'll stay faithful to you. It think its normal to be a little jealous, just do something to occupy your mind. The more you think about him being out with his buddies the more it will drive you crazy. I'm the jealous type too - but I have reason. I've just learned to deal with it a little better and do things to keep myself busy.

[enigmagnetic]

It sounds like this is your first major relationship.

I have two key pieces of advice.

1. If there is no trust there can be no real relationship, intimacy, and/or growth.
2. If you are insecure it pushes the other person away.

You also have to learn to have your own life. It's nice that you care for him so much that you devote all your thinking on him, but maybe you should focus on yourself as well. Go to school, or go to the gym. Get a hobbie. LIke the last post I think you should stay busy.

[wackymb]

I agree. I have been married for almost 5 years and I am very jealous. My husband tells me to stop being paranoid all the time. It really does get them mad and not to be with you. I know. I've almost drove my husband away several times. And I love him too much. He was my second boyfriend and then I got pregnant. Anyway, I guess I'm just afraid that he will leave me like my first boyfriend. But, truly if you act like its OK then they will be happy and so will you. I use to worry that my husband was cheating on me when he went out with friends. But, never had a good reason to believe so. Just paranoid. To this day we are trying to work on things. He is even not giving me sex. He told me before it's because of the way I am to him. Just do something for yourself and don't worry about what he is or isn't doing. It will really drive them away, believe me. And you're a beautiful girl. My husband used to call me fat and told me if I don't lose weight that he would leave me. I'm not that big... just to let you know. But, I would love my old body back. Well, I better stop... getting out of control here. Hope things will be OK.