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chris28 · Oct 28, 2007, 05:12 PM

Okie so I emailed my ex after no contact for a month here is the message
My mssg

Hey,

Just wanted to say hi, I think one day it will feel normal for us to call and talk every once in a while without any issues or jealousy. I've been well my hand is great like new and so is everything else. I finally got that acting manager position in my job and been working on that. Been busy with a lot of classes and all learning new things. I don't know why I'm sending you this because I understand the reasons we didn't work and I'm not trying to change anything but even as buisy as I've been I thought about you now and then. And its kind of hard not to since it would have been 3 yrs in dec plus I keep in touch with ang and all.. So anyway my point is just wanted to check in and I'm really not sure why else sooo I'm going running now so bye for now...

Chris

Her response

Hi everything is good I've been keeping busy and I think about you all the time too, I know one day we can speak to each other without hurt feelings. I'm happy about your hand and that your keeping busy, I'm very happy about your new job don't give up. Talk to you soon

No I actually feel worse kind of not the answer I wanted to hear even though I didn't expect anything more :(

Ash123 · Oct 28, 2007, 05:31 PM

Don't worry.

You had to do it... now you know.
And you can stay focused on:

NC

NC

NC

chris28 · Oct 28, 2007, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

Don't worry.

You had to do it....now you know.
And you can stay focused on:

NC

NC

NC

Do u think that was bad?? Was her answer standoff ish??

I no what's done is done but... im still bored and lonely..

Ash123 · Oct 28, 2007, 06:26 PM

Dude, it's not happening right now. Sorry.
She did not give you much to work with but that's OK.

At least you know... maybe one day she'll get where you both want to be. But you couldn't get in there with a crow bar for many more months at the least.

chris28 · Oct 28, 2007, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

Dude, it's not happening right now. Sorry.
She did not give you much to work with but that's OK.

At least you know....maybe one day she'll get where you both want to be. but you couldn't get in there with a crow bar for many more months at the least.

Ur right lol I read it like 1o times already and got nothing from it... Ill give you that much I'm just in a needy mood now :(

Ash123 · Oct 28, 2007, 07:05 PM

There's nothing there... even after 100 times.

That's why it's good to come here for an objective eye.

If things change, check in. She'd have to do more than that though!

chris28 · Oct 28, 2007, 07:08 PM

Your right it just sucks to admit it... and it don't help I'm in a crummy mood now...

kuulski · Oct 28, 2007, 09:08 PM

I think when you allow time to pass you will start to not care if she contacts you or not and most of the time that is when they contact you. Not always but allot of the times.

kp2171 · Oct 28, 2007, 09:45 PM

Her answer wasn't pushy standoffish.

It was polite and brief. What? Itd be better if she ignored you? That's about as good as you shouldve expected, outside of her suddenly begging you back.

You're bored, lonely, in a crummy mood. You're right on track. It's the norm. its no fun. Its what you got to hike through. Its just the truth.

So... don't email her again anytime soon. You opened the communication lines and you clearly left enough uncertain in your email that lets her know you miss her or at least you are wanting to communucate.

Time to step away.

You didn't drunk dial, but you broke no contact. That's not the worst you could do, but you've put yourself in a vulnerable position. Time to step back.

It sucks. I know. Spent night after night like that. Eventually it stops sucking and you get back to normal. Its just the truth.

Wondergirl · Oct 28, 2007, 10:02 PM

In Sunday's Chicago Tribune newspaper - relationship coaches say move on immediately. Don't hope for a reunion. It won't happen.

Meanwhile, we're here for you.

chris28 · Oct 29, 2007, 08:58 AM

Yes all this advice is just great. I no I might have messed up I was just lonely and had no one to speak to about it I stayed with a few girls as friends and with them I felt a difference I new there were people out there who can make me happy. So I was sure about the choice she made to break up with me was for both of us. I juast have to admit selfisly I just want to no someone is there for me other than family.. Im shy and was worried about being alone foreva or for a long time. Other than that all this advice is great . I noticed in my email is was open and made myself sound bumbed out and lonely I hope this feeling passes fast.

But thank for the positive re-enforcement.

Ash123 · Oct 29, 2007, 09:26 AM

What you did/wondered is normal. Don't beat yourself up.

You're human.

chris28 · Oct 29, 2007, 09:44 AM

Yes I no I am human, this is tru... Feeling are hard they can be consuming at time... I need to learn how to control mine. :)

Ash123 · Oct 29, 2007, 09:52 AM

You can't control.

THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO NC... it's cold turkey De-tox.

Hang in there

chris28 · Oct 30, 2007, 11:38 AM

Hey yesterday was a hard day but I have to admit now I feel a lot better... Im a lot more relieved and at ease. I gues it is all about phases you must go through highs and lows. So anyway just wanted to say I still am thinking of her but the urgency has gone for now.

Thanks