[AYungman]

Me and my fiancé had a kid in June after that she said we'd wait ti we are married to have sex I thought it was a joke but it wasn't so I been sexless since then and I'm getting a feeling that she might want to cheat on me what do I do

[Wondergirl]

i'm getting a feeling that she might want to cheat on me what do i do

First of all, congratulations!

When are you planning to get married? Soon, I hope? Are you in the planning stages and have you set a date? If not, why not?

Why are you getting this feeling about her cheating? Please tell me (us) more about that.

[AYungman]

Well we don't cuddle or nuttin she says it's because she donesnt want to get me going or what eva like before we had kids she would stand in front of me or at least in the same room after a shower now she goes to the bathroom gets all the way dressed she hardly says love you first I say it all the time if I don't I don't think she'll say it

[Clough]

Hi, AYungman!

Other than what you are asking about, how are you right now?

Clough

[AYungman]

She thinks I been going through her phone she's pissed but I haven't see I used her phone to call the video store then I pressed the call log button to call back and I seen this weird number I asked who it was and she said you going through my phone now okay it's all good

[Wondergirl]

if i dont i dont think she'll say it

Well, she IS juggling three kids and school and is pretty busy. You make it your job to be there for her and help with the kids and the housework as much as you can.

[wackymb]

Hi, I wanted to say that I know how you feel. Me and my husband had our kid right after we first met and decided to get married. Well, it was all good for the first year. After that, we just fought all the time and didn't really get along. I went two years without sex. He told me that he didn't want it anymore. So, of course, I started thinking that he was cheating on me and other stuff. But, that wasn't true. Just having the kid and work and him going to college puts stress on and the last thing on your mind is sex. He also admitted to me that he doesn't want to have sex with me cause I always ed about stuff and kept trying to force him to do things. You can't force her. Act like not having sex and the other things don't bother you. That's what I did with my husband and we are actually having sex more often now. But, I am the one that starts it all. And he never says I love you first, I have to say it. We are those kinds of people that don't show effection and say love you and hold hands, etc... Especially in public. He's worse than me and I've grown to be OK with that. You can't force someone to change. You have to love them they way they are. Just hang in there. She will come around. If not, it's not meant to be. Best of luck to you.

[wackymb]

OH, and about her not wanting to get dressed in front of you, Did she gain weight or anything like that? Women do worry about they way their bodies look and don't want their men to see what they look like. I know I don't. My husband even admitted to me that he doesn't like the way I look and would call me fat. Don't ever do that to a woman. It really hurts. Just try to give her space.

[Ash123]

oh, that's classic BAV.

(Born Again Virgin)

She does not feel good about a child out of wedlock and this is what she needs to give you more later. Still, I am sure it feels cold.

For many women to have sexual relations they need a moral paradigm they can operate under... even call girls. ("I only do it for the money for my child... or I am careful and am going to quit when... It's only sex and I'm not hurting anyone... etc)

So, you got off easy.

She is NOT cheating... But will if you pressure her and ruin your relationship. Instead, just talk it out. Tell her you love her and your concerns etc. and be understanding. A pro counselor could solve this in a few sessions I'd bet if you both feel stymied.